Dated to June 7th

[pheromonecoffee]

[Matt Abbot sits before you today in a spinny desk chair, illuminated by his laptop screen. If you thought Matt couldn’t get dumber, you were wrong. You were very wrong. He is making good on his threats of stupidity so over the top they’re impossible to believe. Today Matt is wearing a surprisingly well made masquerade-style eye mask, black with a diagonal cut of blue over his left eye. And he is also wearing a surprising well made collared cape, black with a blue lining. He is also just wearing generally nice clothing under it because you can totally dress like a supervillain and still be stylish.

He steeples his fingers, a sly(ish) smile on his face.]

Greetings, Numbered. As I have been recently freed from the mortal prison of mandatory education, I am now free to pursue any future I wish. … Until August because I have already paid my tuition deposit.

But until August, Locke City, you are being watched. I will be your worst nightmare. I will be a supervillain the likes of which none of you have ever seen before. Such dastardly deeds as speaking in a fake New Jersey accent, directing tourists to the wrong streets and ripping tags off mattresses will happen on the streets every day for as long as I remain in its borders. I will accomplish all my good deeds by questionable means, causing me to become a terrible menace who will puzzle philosophy majors because no one can tell if I'm actually being a bad person. [He leans back in his chair, doing his best to look mysterious and dangerous.]

My first dastardly deed will be a kidnapping. Next Monday, June 16th, I will be kidnapping one of your number, heroes, and taking him with me to Las Vegas. If you wish to guarantee his safety, there is room for two others to accompany us on our cross-country trip. If you wish to ensure his safe return to New Jersey, then you may contact me and we will discuss plans.

[And with that the video turns off. However, Matt is still going, typing. He’s posting a selfie, too, of him in graduation robes. He’s got the National Honor Society gold graduation stole and everything.]

Graduation’s next weekend, too. My parents and my aunt and uncle are the reason I can take the trip--the car’s a graduation thing. Being serious for a second, though, if you want to come, the car is big enough that it won’t be an awful trip. Leaving the 16th at 8AM. If you’re under 18, I need parental permission. I’ll text you my number.

Comments

[pheromonecoffee]

Or maybe you just think it is.

It's an actual kidnapping with the permission of his father.

[seed_of_memory]

[before replying again, Fuyuka stops and thinks for a minute. Then, she ends up checking around. And when she does, she feels sheepish... no, she feels downright embarrassed and angry at herself for not seeing the forest for the trees.

Whether it's the existing surreality of this place, or her own humorlessness, or her frustration at not having work, she put more thought into this than it needed. But even after all that, Fuyuka Terasawa did have a sense of humor]

----

I see I didn't truly consider the depths of what you have in mind. Clearly you are far beyond us simple minded do-gooders.

[pheromonecoffee]

[Honestly if you don't know him, you're going to assume all sorts of things. He doesn't mind one bit.]

A villain always has to stay three steps ahead or they'll be defeated by the hero without any real conflict! What kind of super rivalry is that?

[seed_of_memory]

Of course. That said, I hope you're taking the proper steps to remain safe.

From, you know.

The competition.

[pheromonecoffee]

Safety is my first priority. No meaningless henchmen in my group.

she feels so ridiculous

[seed_of_memory]

Of course. But it's important to make sure you're prepared to make contact with allies when necessary. And to make sure you have people or things that can protect you. For the purpose of your evil plan, of course

that's how everyone feels talking to matt. it's okay. they should have a support group.

[pheromonecoffee]

Believe me, we're coming prepared. That's why we can't fly over.

[seed_of_memory]

Mn. Still, a bit of helpful advice couldn't hurt, will it?

[pheromonecoffee]

I appreciate it. But I don't want anybody to worry that we're not ready. We are.

[seed_of_memory]

Then I suppose all I really can do is hope you make the right decisions and stay safe. Good luck.

[pheromonecoffee]

Thanks. It's nice to know someone wants us safe.

[seed_of_memory]

There are some things children should never have to go through.

... Even if they profess to be supervillains.

[pheromonecoffee]

I am absolutely 100% legally adult unless you consider being able to drink an important part of adulthood.

Then I have to go to Europe. But right now I am legal.

[seed_of_memory]

Adulthood is more than just a matter of age, sadly.

... why do you have to go to Europe?

[pheromonecoffee]

Only if I want to drink. It would be a nice trip, though. I've never been overseas.

[seed_of_memory]

Oh, the drinking age. Of course. Your context...

[Fuyuka groans to herself. She's awful distracted tonight. She should have picked up on that far more quickly]