Dated to June 7th

[pheromonecoffee]

[Matt Abbot sits before you today in a spinny desk chair, illuminated by his laptop screen. If you thought Matt couldn’t get dumber, you were wrong. You were very wrong. He is making good on his threats of stupidity so over the top they’re impossible to believe. Today Matt is wearing a surprisingly well made masquerade-style eye mask, black with a diagonal cut of blue over his left eye. And he is also wearing a surprising well made collared cape, black with a blue lining. He is also just wearing generally nice clothing under it because you can totally dress like a supervillain and still be stylish.

He steeples his fingers, a sly(ish) smile on his face.]

Greetings, Numbered. As I have been recently freed from the mortal prison of mandatory education, I am now free to pursue any future I wish. … Until August because I have already paid my tuition deposit.

But until August, Locke City, you are being watched. I will be your worst nightmare. I will be a supervillain the likes of which none of you have ever seen before. Such dastardly deeds as speaking in a fake New Jersey accent, directing tourists to the wrong streets and ripping tags off mattresses will happen on the streets every day for as long as I remain in its borders. I will accomplish all my good deeds by questionable means, causing me to become a terrible menace who will puzzle philosophy majors because no one can tell if I'm actually being a bad person. [He leans back in his chair, doing his best to look mysterious and dangerous.]

My first dastardly deed will be a kidnapping. Next Monday, June 16th, I will be kidnapping one of your number, heroes, and taking him with me to Las Vegas. If you wish to guarantee his safety, there is room for two others to accompany us on our cross-country trip. If you wish to ensure his safe return to New Jersey, then you may contact me and we will discuss plans.

[And with that the video turns off. However, Matt is still going, typing. He’s posting a selfie, too, of him in graduation robes. He’s got the National Honor Society gold graduation stole and everything.]

Graduation’s next weekend, too. My parents and my aunt and uncle are the reason I can take the trip--the car’s a graduation thing. Being serious for a second, though, if you want to come, the car is big enough that it won’t be an awful trip. Leaving the 16th at 8AM. If you’re under 18, I need parental permission. I’ll text you my number.

Comments

video

[hungryhunter]

I'll try...it's just so hard dealing with this kind of relationship, you know? The moral dilemmas and all that.

[pheromonecoffee]

Shhhh. Don't think about that now. All that matters is us. No morals, no laws, no titles. Just us. Shhh.

[hungryhunter]

But how do I know that this isn't just you using our relationship to convince me to look the other way as you commit your next crime...

[pheromonecoffee]

You've known me since I was a mild-mannered scientist and you were my dedicated lab assistant. Have I ever lied to you before?

[hungryhunter]

How is that going to fit into it anyway. Are those still our civilian identities, or are you giving up science for good.

[pheromonecoffee]

Science and villainy are not mutually exclusive. I can do good things for the world if I combine them to become a mad scientist.

My morality is a necessary sacrifice. Remember me as I was.

[hungryhunter]

I'll carry on science in the name of good in honor of the memory of the times we had together...

[pheromonecoffee]

I couldn't think of anybody better to continue my legacy. Perhaps someday we can work side by side once again. When this cruel war is over...

[hungryhunter]

I'll hope for it through all of our battles.

What about Ken, though?

[pheromonecoffee]

Ken is my kidnapping victim.

I cleared it with his dad. [This was the first serious sentence in most of this thread.]

[hungryhunter]

Well, I hope he has fun.

[Wow serious discussion?!?!]

But what does this mean for science?

[pheromonecoffee]

Well, you can pretend you don't know that I've turned evil and we can continue our day to day scienceing until I kidnap you and we enter the betrayal arc.

Or you can use my science against me in order to take me down in a tragic turn of events.

[hungryhunter]

Let's do both.

[pheromonecoffee]

See, this is why you're my assistant. You're brilliant.

[hungryhunter]

Well, I also learned from the best...

[pheromonecoffee]

I'm clearly going to need a redemption arc because if we stopped hanging around, my ego would take a hit.