savetheearth | ( one ) smartphone / video

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( one ) smartphone / video

[ Eriks doesn't know why he puts the number into his phone. It's been a constant presence at the back of his head for a good week now, sure, but he's made an art out of ignoring it. No, more accurately, he doesn't notice he's put the number into his phone until his thumb has already done it: having already scrolled through everything that needs reading in the morning (work emails, the news, Tumblr of course—), he's left with nothing to do but fidget. And fidget he does, right into a goldmine of information that his bosses would skin a man for.

He forgets all about the eggs cooking on the stove and deposits himself in a kitchen chair, skim reading like no one has ever skim read before. Watches a few videos, follows a few links, listens to a few audio posts, and gleans too much and too little all at once. He can already tell his nights will be occupied with plenty of reading material for many weeks to come. Sleep? Not anymore, bud.

Still... reading is one thing. Watching is another. But conversation is absolutely indispensable, and he needs to talk with these people. But he needs to approach it carefully. Delicately. And, from the looks of things, not mention that whole 'with the Feds' thing.

With this in mind, he flips his phone camera to video, puts on his best charming smile, and initiates First Contact with exactly as much seriousness as he should. ]

Ladies and gentlemen, hello! I admit my disappointment that this isn't the beautiful, mysterious barista's phone number I thought it was, since I was pretty sure I memorized it. I guess she gave me a fake number, after all...

But here's the good news: this eligible bachelor has just become available in your undercover supernatural neighborhood! I enjoy long walks on the beach and extended discourse on the virtues of life and love. Hours of illuminating conversation are 100% free of charge, and there's even a platonic package available for the less daring. Inquire within for further details.

[ A beat, as black smoke billows from the abandoned frying pan behind him. He doesn't turn, doesn't even shift, but there's a brief second of tragicomedy in his expression when the smell of eggs-cum-charcoal hits his nose. How long has he been... ah, hell.

Composure utterly unwavering, ]

—And whoever recommends the best diner will receive a limited edition free coffee! Act now while supplies last; you'd be a fool to pass this one up, folks!

I apologize for the (exciting) interruption and you may now return to your usual programming.

[ Gives a winning smile as the video goes off — and then topples the chair (and very nearly the table) in his scramble to deal with what was once his breakfast.

Quite the catch, ladies and gentlemen, don't miss out!! ]

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[ ...........Okay, Sophie ignored most of that after she heard the voice, listening in growing disbelief. She's good with voices. She never makes a mistake with them, never guesses wrong, and, well. When it's family? She's even better. ]

Uncle Eriks? [ She...yeah she can't come up with anything better than being completely stunned.

...Well, besides that she doesn't have any interest in coffee, soooooo. ]

Let me guess, you didn't look for the FAQs at all? [a deep accented voice is the response here, one that's just a little huffy.]

We've gotta figure out a way to let you people find it first.

[Whoa, whoa. He'd seen this guy while he'd been in FBI custody. He's . . . not sure this is the best thing.]

The hell are you doing on here? [Toushirou, it's nobody's fault they're on the network.]

[R U SRS]

You're on here?! [Yes, that might just be your nephew's voice coming from your phone and he sounds completely incredulous.]

Edited 2014-04-09 02:00 (UTC)

[[Just a slow clap. Good job, newbie. Good job.]]

[...huh. She's pretty sure she recognizes you, since. Well. She's been around the FBI quite a bit recently. and she's just going to mess with him because why not]

That's certainly one way to introduce yourself to everyone.

[Having unauthorized but solid access to a lot of police files means that L is aware of the new FBI transfer to some degree.]

It's unusual for eligible bachelors to go on about themselves without really getting around to mentioning what makes them so eligible. What do you do, exactly?

[Of course, he's not just going to come out and say what he knows.]

[Misato can't help but smile at how spastic the guy is.]

So, you're new too, huh? I'm not sure if I can really give you a hand, but I can give you a good diner recommendation. Lord of the Fries -- have you heard of it?

I'm going there this week.

Oh, no. I hope you've got a can of Febreeze.

[ There is a faint tone of amusement, but hey, burnt food is no joke. Shit stiiinks. ]

We~ell, I don't suppose you're a tea-drinker.

[She bats an ear.]

For I'm sure I can recommend a few places on my end of town by now! I've been sampling, after, all, and certainly there has to be at least one place where one could taste a more than decent -

What was that - by the by, that you've... burnt.

[after looking at the majority of the replies he's gotten so far, she can't help but laugh and make a little joke]

I am sorry that I am breaking the pattern of your responses here by being a stranger! Are you undamaged from the, ah, destruction of your meal?

Even if I recommend a diner I'm like 2000 miles away right now, so I couldn't take you up on that offer.

You might wanna try not flirting with everyone if you're going to make yourself look like a dumbass at the same time.

You know we're not a dating service, right?

[Just making sure. You wouldn't be the first to try to pick someone up on the network, and probably not the last.]

Don't you have better things to do, officer?

[ Must you be obnoxious even on network? Jeez! ]

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.... you!

[CRAP DID HE GIVE A NAME MIRIA HAS NO IDEA SHE DOESN'T WANNA BE RUDE TO A POTENTIAL ADULT FRIEND CRAP.]

I can't imagine why someone would give you a fake number.

[Sarcasm. The voice sound familiar? Like a certain police force grouce who wasn't too happy with the sex scandal comments?]

However, this is neither a dating nor escort service.

Edited (too many negatives!!) 2014-04-09 15:49 (UTC)

are you real

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voice; i lied i will do it as i eat just to get it in there

voice;

Voice

voice;

[Audio]

video

[Audio]