savetheearth | nine sick, disgusting thoughts

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nine sick, disgusting thoughts | text

Holy crap, this month has been busy. I don't even have any poorly tasting mortician jokes to throw at you, numbers club. That's how you know it's been rough.

I guess we're not so secret anymore? I don't even know. I'm trying to keep my status as a member of this thing secret since I still work for the city and all. Not like it's been easy with all these FBI agents swarming around. I'm lucky nobody's tried running me through one of those full-body scans, huh? That'd be a huge red light.

Speaking of huge lights, if you're new to the numbers club, hi! My name's Brooke. I'm a mortician. Most of my work is on the up-and-up, but if past you was undead or anything like that, I can definitely try to help. Things keep going this way and it might be all I do. Anyway, look, sorry I've been gone for so long and sorry I couldn't help much in that big fight. I'm just... glad that I didn't recognize any of the decedents.

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do you need a paper bag or something?

No, it's cool. Didn't even break any ceramic stuff this time! I've got this. 100%.

sorry for uh hitting a sensitive spot

Not your fault. You're still cool in my book. I don't advertise a lot of the stuff wrong with me, is all.

i feel like the people who do are just attention whores

anyways so uh you know how i was kinda bugging you and rachel about the whole lesbian thing?

[ Change of topic AND addressing an idea she got at the same time! ]

You and like half my social circle. Fire away, what's up?

turns out im not straight and im dating a girl now so uh i know its probably not that much different from dating a guy in SOME ways so its not like i need to go to you specifically for advice but if i need any advice about stuff could i ask you?

Feel totally free. I'm a hopeless romantic down to my bones, but I might still be able to help you. Congratulations, by the way. I hope you're half as cute as me and Rae are.

hehe not to brag but jas is the cutest girlfriend now sorry

okay so im totally bragging and sounding like a lovesick doofus

and thanks

Brag away! As long as you're okay with being wrong. Jas? Have I met her? I feel like I've met her. (Doofus.)

Jasmine tsukuyomi? you have to have met her or her sister lily

Probably, yeah. I'm not fantastic with names, but I think I've met most of the people in your friend circle by now. I mean, law of averages and everything. You should take some selfies of you and her or something. We'll have a cute couple-off.

oh shit youre right ill have to take a few and try not to embarrass her too much

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