savetheearth | nine sick, disgusting thoughts

Entry tags:

nine sick, disgusting thoughts | text

Holy crap, this month has been busy. I don't even have any poorly tasting mortician jokes to throw at you, numbers club. That's how you know it's been rough.

I guess we're not so secret anymore? I don't even know. I'm trying to keep my status as a member of this thing secret since I still work for the city and all. Not like it's been easy with all these FBI agents swarming around. I'm lucky nobody's tried running me through one of those full-body scans, huh? That'd be a huge red light.

Speaking of huge lights, if you're new to the numbers club, hi! My name's Brooke. I'm a mortician. Most of my work is on the up-and-up, but if past you was undead or anything like that, I can definitely try to help. Things keep going this way and it might be all I do. Anyway, look, sorry I've been gone for so long and sorry I couldn't help much in that big fight. I'm just... glad that I didn't recognize any of the decedents.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tav is 8ANNED. As is Tavv.
8ut if Tavia is losing its shine you can TOTALLY just call me Mrs. Serket-Hunter!

(Really. For real.)

(You missed a LOTTTTTTTT.)

You and Alan got married?

And you didn't invite me? Tavia, that wounds me. That wounds me right in my heart.

We were kind of may8e a tiny 8it intoxic8ted at the time.
Vegas is HELL, 8rooke. It lures you in with its twinkly lights and high-stakes games and hideously expensive 8ut super delicious pina coladas and the next thing you know you have ~*THE WINGS OF FREEDOM*~ tattooed on the 8ack of your neck and a marriage certific8.
And a pile of Elvis jumpsuits. I will 8ring one 8ack just for you! As a souvenir.

Wait, wait, you're in VEGAS? But you're not even old enough to drink ye--

oh, right. The mind control. Well, congratulations, Mrs. Serket-Hunter. Kind of surprised you kept your name, though. This way it makes it sound like you're hunting yourself down.

Spoilers! 8eing completely fucking 8laddered 8n't exactly helpful for picking out what name you want to 8e called for the rest of your life.
Or for making good decisions at all. FUCK ALCOHOL.

I could've told you that, dude. Why do you think I tried so hard to keep it away from everyone when I was bartending?

So is there a registry you want me to look at post-emptively? I've got some overtime money lying around.

No way!
What with me not 8eing a fugitive any more and therefore a8le to spend all the money I want on all the 8ullshit I want again.
And I got to live 8ack at home! Wow it sure is awesome seeing my mom regularlyishly.
So many gr8 things happening! Everything is coming up Serket.

Hyphen Hunter.

Wait, you're not a fugitive anymore? Sweet. But I know you well enough, I think, to know when you're not being 100% honest. Any trouble in paradise, Serket-Hunter?

Only the fact that I have 8een staying at Alan's a LOT to avoid my mom 8ut now HIS mom might 8e even more of a drag to 8e around, Future Mrs. Defying Gravity Roth.

Oh my god I am NOT losing my name. She's going to be Rachel Reynolds-Roth whether she likes it or not. Mostly so I can just call for her with a purring noise.

Sorry about moms. At least I'm the unofficial cool mom around here?

8etter KEEP the cool mom st8tus on an unofficial 8asis, wow.
Or people will start thinking you are hella old! Like. Thirty or forty. Jesus.

Rae and I aren't going to knock each other up either, chill out. You sure are invested in my personal life all of a sudden. I'm the one who should be looking up to you for relationship advice!

So did you two bang yet or what.

8h m8 g8d.

Brooke works. No need to be so formal. It's a pretty simple question, Mrs. Serket-Hunter. ;)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

nine sick, disgusting thoughts | text

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;