savetheearth | nine sick, disgusting thoughts

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nine sick, disgusting thoughts | text

Holy crap, this month has been busy. I don't even have any poorly tasting mortician jokes to throw at you, numbers club. That's how you know it's been rough.

I guess we're not so secret anymore? I don't even know. I'm trying to keep my status as a member of this thing secret since I still work for the city and all. Not like it's been easy with all these FBI agents swarming around. I'm lucky nobody's tried running me through one of those full-body scans, huh? That'd be a huge red light.

Speaking of huge lights, if you're new to the numbers club, hi! My name's Brooke. I'm a mortician. Most of my work is on the up-and-up, but if past you was undead or anything like that, I can definitely try to help. Things keep going this way and it might be all I do. Anyway, look, sorry I've been gone for so long and sorry I couldn't help much in that big fight. I'm just... glad that I didn't recognize any of the decedents.

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With the aftermath I'm dealing with, I'm not surprised. Good work, team. Or... something.

Never really thought "snake-based apocalypse" was on the table when I started posting to this thing.

...That bad? [She had been trying to not pay too much attention to the death count, but one could imagine.]

Yeah, I don't think there's really anything that can prepare you for something like that.

It's not great, no. [sigh] Like I said, I'm just glad I don't recognize any of the people I'm working on. It's easy enough to ignore until I actually get to the office.

Sorry. This got really dark all of a sudden.

It's okay, if you need to talk about it, I'm your girl.

Well, one of them.

That reminds me, how are things going between you and Rachel?

Pretty well! We're still together, living together, all that fun stuff. It's nice to have that kind of constant in my life. Hah, there go the constants again.

Of course, I'm glad to have you back around here, too. Wouldn't be quite the same without you here. Why did you end up leaving, anyway? I don't think I ever asked.

I'm happy for you two.

[A pause.]

I... forgot. Just one day, woke up and couldn't remember the last few months. I left notes for myself, so I could infer what happened, but...

My parents decided that Locke City was becoming too unsafe, so we moved.

Oh.

I mean, I guess I can't blame them. It really wasn't that safe for a while. But... well, you're back here now. So that could mean a few things. I hope it just means that your parents realized that Locke wasn't all that bad.

[There's a long pause.]

I'm staying with a friend right now.

That's... not as bad as I thought. [she'd rather not say what the worst of it could have been, but she definitely sounds relieved.]

Is it Ez? Are you two still hanging out?

[...]

...He... went out to China, to do work with his uncle...

[under her breath] Batting a thousand today, Brooke.

[and in her normal voice] I'm sorry. Is the friend you're staying with a member of the numbers club, at least? Or... I mean, are they treating you right? Because you deserve to live a good life, Luce.

[She quickly recovers, more concerned with Brooke than herself.]

No, it's okay, really! We both got our numbers around the same time originally, and forgot around the same time; we do things in pairs, so maybe...

[You know that won't happen, Luci. Besides, when was the last time you even got a letter...

She lets that hang.]

She is. Her and her brother both. We were best friends before all of this, so it's made things a lot easier.

That's good, at least. I guess when we can't have everything, we can at least have the important stuff. Or... something. I don't know. I'm not great with pseudo-philosophical stuff like that.

I mean, I guess one of the hidden upsides here is that you don't need to feel like your parents are holding you back so much anymore?

I know what you mean, and you're right.

Yeah. I can't say that I don't feel guilty, but they know where I am at the very least.

Better than I might have given my parents if I were in your situation. You're a pretty good person, Luce. I just, you know, wanted to remind you of that.

[If leaving a letter the day she left was really telling them...]

Sometimes I wonder...

[A beat.]

Anyway, I've missed you! Well, in the sense that I knew I had a really good friend that I've been wanting to see but couldn't for the life of me remember who. You know how that goes. But in any case, we should get together.

We totally should. Maybe we can just do some girl talk or something. Or talk about how you don't think you're a good person. I won't have my best friends having self-esteem problems. That's my job.

[she's grinning, but it doesn't really... work over audio.]

But then you're putting me out of work! [She laughs.]

You're young, you'll bounce back. I'm practically falling apart over here! I need all the opportunities I can get before I turn 25 and society deems me totally worthless!

As if 25 is so old.

It's ancient, are you kidding me? Quarter of a century! That's, like. Four of me would be older than nearly everybody alive.

Okay, no, it's not that bad. I'm no movie star anyway.

Actually, I think the oldest person alive is 116, with a fair few between the ages of 102 and 115, if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, right, you totally already knew that from research. Well, if I ever get, like, self-cloning powers or whatever, I'll keep it under five just so I don't set any new records.

The joys of having a smartphone.

I think you might already set some for number of clones, but that's beside the point.

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