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[Alan's previous text posts have always been from his sketchbook and thus surrounded with drawings and doodles. This one has been written on a blank page and looks weirdly empty in comparison, especially since the post itself is so short.]

during the snake thing if you saw a titan running around randomly breaking shit that was me. I lost control and didnt know what I was doing. sorry if I got any of you guys hurt.

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[He follows her down, still a little uneasy.]

That's something at least. How long were you guys stuck down there?

Iunno. A few hours? We missed the whole fight. It's hard to tell time when your phone's kind of crushed! Haha.

[ GET IT, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE ALAN DID IT!!!!!!!!

She starts ejecting fucking everything from her sylladex. She's been captchaloguing a lot of useless shit in preparation for this. Some of the eight balls that're spilling out of hammerspace? CONTAIN NOTHING BUT DUST MOTES.

There's a fuckhuge pile of them on the floor by the time she's done. She surveys it fondly - that would be so comfy to sleep on - for a second before another two eight-balls appear in her hands. One of them is carefully tossed towards Alan. ]

Catch!

[HOLY SHIT WHAT EIGHT BALLS OUT OF FUCKING NO WHERE????

SO MUCH BOGGLING but at least he manages to catch the one she throws him.]

...Where were you keeping those?

Wherever you're thinking? Not there. I got back Vriska's videogame inventory bullshit! Don't ask me how it works because I don't even know.

[ She smashes the eight-ball in her hand by throwing it on the ground. VOILA: a baseball bat. ]

Break yours! I brought you one too. For smashing with. I am all about the smash-efficiency.

Weird.

[But awesome. Throwing his ball to the floor too. SMASH!!!]

Weird, or the coolest echo I ever got? We get to break stuff! Lots of stuff! Without pissing anybody off or -

[ she picks up her baseball bat, tosses an eight-ball into the air and smashes it satisfyingly against the basement wall. ]

- hurting anybody. Because that's bad and junk.

I'd say it's weird and cool.

[just going to grab an eight ball and step on it. multiple times.]

Like us, r--

[ EXCUSE HER A SECOND. ECHO. An echo that. Seems to do nothing? Fuck those, man. ]

...right?

[ She pats herself down in case of new appendages. NOTHING. ]

Uh. Echo. Check my other eye didn't split for me?

Uh. Yeah.

[Watching her while casually still stepping on the pieces of that last ball.

And then coming a little closer to check her eye?]

Doesn't look any different.

[ FURTHER INSPECTION NECESSARY. Just give her a minute to run her tongue across her teeth to check for fangs, pick at the cut on her lip to see if her blood is blue, and peer down her shirt just in case.

Nope. Nothing. She shrugs lightly. ]

Whatever. Guess I'll have to wait and see what it did! Like when I became immortal.

[ Another eight-ball gets shattered against the floor. ]

Kind of immortal.

...What do you mean, kind of?

When you--

[ Nope ]

-- couldn't control your titan and I died, I remembered that it happened before. Somebody important being the one who, uh. Did the whole. Thingy. And that time I didn't come back. Which is why Vriska ain't still alive and I get to be here, I guess!

[ The next eight-ball just gets tossed in the air and caught again. WOW LOOKING AT IT SURE IS INTERESTING. ]

So basically if I die heroically, or as a villain? Poof! Gone for good. Super dead. Hella dead. No backsies.

Oh.

[He goes a little pale because she could have actually stayed dead when he-]

Well, at. At least the villain thing isn't something we have to worry about.

I guess. And it means it's kind of a good thing that you, uh. Y'know. That it happened!

[ Careful lil armtouch time. ]

Because like. Before I'd have taken bullets for any asshole, right? And now I have to be way pickier about who I play hero for. You probably saved my life! In a permanent kind of way.

I still wish it hadn't happened.

[Because wow does he feel like shit for it. Just gonna grab an eight ball and throw it to the ground without any real enthusiasm.]

Don't be a big dumb loser. It wasn't even that bad.

[ It's a lie, of course. It was a horrid way to go, even putting aside the fact that it was Alan hurting her when he'd promised never to do it.

But he doesn't need to know that. ]

And it didn't change anything, right? I'm not, like. Blaming you or whatever.

[ Which is true, at least. ]

I know that but.

[He'd broken his promise and done the exact thing they'd all said he wouldn't.]

It was still pretty fucked up.

Nuh-uh. Compared to all the other stuff that happens to us? Kind of not fucked up at all. Ain't nobody going to think bad of you for it.

[ Oh - yeah. He should probably know who else knows, right? ]

Especially since I'm cool keeping it secret. Except Wally saw, so he knows. And Captain Gremlin does, too.

[He stays quiet for a moment, not really sure what to even say because it is pretty fucked up, no matter what she says.

But then she mentions that other people know and he gives her a slightly panicked look.]

They- they know about it?

Only those two!

[ Yea, Octavia placeth upon Alan's hindmost area a series of phalanges; softly, merely the meanest whisper of an inspiriting tactile begrazement. ]

Wally saw, I didn't tell him. And Captain Gremlin found me and was asking about you and what happened and. Stuff. But he was actually pretty understanding about it. In a short douchebaggy kind of way.

[GODDAMMIT LOUISE]

...Oh. Well, I. I guess that's okay then.

[NOPE NOPE NOT OKAY WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE]

[ You fucking love it. Also Alan gets backpats. And buttpats. Both. ]

If people have to know, it's better that it's them! Right? Wally, at least. And they know it was an accident! That it could have happened to anybody.

And if either of them try to make you talk about it and you don't want to, I will personally kick them in the nards.

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