[Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

[oncedevil]

Well isn't this a surprise? You know, taking hallucinogens wasn't on my to-do list for the near future, but I guess everyone makes mistakes every now and then. I've learned a valuable lesson today: when someone hands you some funky hippy water full of leaves that they insist is good for you, don't drink it.

So, since I'm suddenly the Dirt Whisperer, how about you regale me with your earthy wisdom while I sit in the park and enjoy the trip? Let's kill some time before this wears off and I end up with the nastiest hangover I've ever had.

Here, I'll start with some easy questions:

Why is the sky blue? What's the meaning of life? What language does Mister Mumbles speak when he yells at people walking by? And most importantly, what the hell is going on?

Comments

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[drama8om8]

There 8n't nothing sketchy a8out it! Sometimes echoes give people legit superpowers.
Mine is mind control! And also flying and 8eing immortal and shooting lasers out of my eye that don't actually do anything.
8ut yeah! You are speaking to a legit wanted criminal right now. Pretty neat, right????????

And wow, ok. I 8n't going to pry!
Much.
8ut if you remem8er gray horned people or canni8al giants I know people that can give you the deets!

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[oncedevil]

Talking to a legit criminal with ineffective eye lasers is something I never knew I wanted in my life until right now. [He's only partly kidding as even if this is a hallucination it is highly entertaining.] That's one hell of a bucket list of powers, though, don't they have a cap on that sort of thing? I thought there was a rule book.

Well... they weren't grey but they did have horns, I wouldn't really call them people though. No cannibal giants either. You know all of this just sounds increasingly insane, right?

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[drama8om8]

I have to admit. My powers are kind of the 8est! And it is super unfair to every8ody else. I am just sitting here with all these amazing gifts and then you have chumps like dear sweet Eri! Who got NOTHING. ::::)

And yeah. Of COURSE it sounds nuts!
8ut it is totally true. When you are done thinking you are hallucin8ting I can show you my fairy wings or something! That usually gets people to 8elieve shit.

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[oncedevil]

Gotta say, I'm a little envious. But with powers like yours surely you don't need the help of normal nobodies like myself, yeah? I think I can leave the work to you, no problem.

I don't know, fairy wings will probably just make me think I'm hallucinating again. Don't worry though, I think I'm over it.

Mostly.

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[drama8om8]

Lol. You're right that *I* don't need any8ody's help!
8ut you 8n't really got a choice in the whole num8ers clu8 thing. You are one of us now! And you should pro8a8ly learn to deal for the sake of your own safety and shit.
Like the 8ad guys 8n't a8ove killing us. They killed this lady called Candy forever ago and she never hurt NO8ODY. She was just a 8aker! And they scooped out her 8rain just for 8eing one of us.
8asically what I am saying is that hiding and denying everything 8n't going to save you, dude.

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[oncedevil]

Candy?
You know stories like this aren't exactly making me excited to jump into this goddamn mess. Not real fond of the idea of getting my brain scooped out, thanks.
Hiding's worked pretty damn good for me in the past. You'd be amazed at how quick I can disappear.

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[drama8om8]

You can TRY hiding and disappearing, I guess. 8ut if you do and the cops find you anyway then most people 8n't going to know or trust you enough to help you out!
So you should stick around on the network no matter what you end up doing. So you can at least know what is going down at all times. And 8e as involved as you are comforta8le with!
And stuff.
You never know! You could wind up getting a 8unch of super 8adass powers like me. >::::D

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[oncedevil]

Yeah, there's no one to notice either way, so nothing changes there. How do I know I can trust you people? For all I know you just want to get me in your cult and scoop out my brain anyway.

Or I really am having a very convincing hallucination.

Doubtful. Nice try, though

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[drama8om8]

Pretty rude!
I guess you can only trust people 8y getting to know them. Or 8y, say, noting that the mind control fairy 8n't controlled your mind to force you to come around to her way of thinking! Lol. >:::;D

And don't 8e a dou8ty-dou8ting loser! LOTS of unlikely people get majorly 8adass powers. I have this one friend who is a legit stuffy Catholic school8oy and HE is 8ecoming a giant-slayer with a sword and a horse!
It don't get more unlikely than THAT.

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[oncedevil]

Sorry, this is just a lot to swallow. And considering you told me you're the wanted person from the papers? Makes your story even more far-fetched. Please don't mind control me I've got enough problems.

Well that is pretty unlikely, but I think I'm with the other guy on just being a cheerleader. You dudes have fun, though, we'll put on nice skirts for you. Sound good?