[text;tablet]

[atethecanary]

[Julian has had a bad week. First he was mugged, ever since then he started to feel weird, and it's hard enough trying to take notes without having a string of numbers in your head. When he ends up doodling them in his tablet note app during class and the network pops up, Julian figures it's a virus and decides it's the worst week ever.

It's only after pounding on his tablet a bunch, turning it on and off over and over, and then writing the numbers again and trying to show it to his butler who only gives him a weird look, that Julian figures maybe it isn't a virus. He finally resorts to typing in the stupid thing, because he doesn't know what else to do.]

what is this? is this some sort of update?

[Julian doubts it, but he's running out of logical explanations.]

i don't like it. whoever thought of it needs to be fired. someone tell me how to get rid of it.

Comments

[TEXT]

[loveyoubaby]

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[No max don't fuck with the newbies that's mean oh my god]

[TEXT]

[atethecanary]

what the fuck

[That doesn't look like any pop-up Julian's seen before. Now he's even more confused.]

did some weird dating app get installed on accident? what use do i have for that?

[He really doesn't want to meet any cougars, thank you very much.]

this is really annoying. i paid good money for this tablet and it shouldn't be installing apps at random.

[TEXT]

[loveyoubaby]

why are you even talking back to an app dude you've got problems.

[TEXT]

[atethecanary]

i don't have problems! this app or whatever the hell it is has problems! i just want my tablet back to normal. i don't see why that is so much to ask for

text; i'm pretty sure I saw this actual ad a lot back when i didn't have adblock

[twelfthspark]

[Cracking up. You're a guy after Arlene's own heart, Max.]

*** Lose 10 pounds in 10 days! ***
The easy trick diet companies don't want you to know about!

text; OH NO that's dreadful

[loveyoubaby]

[he aims to please~]

Want To Learn A New Language in Two Weeks?

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[twelfthspark]

Play Now, My Lord!

Free online MMO in your browser!

voice;

[ursoreckless]

Leave the city and never come back. It's the only way to get rid of this. If you don't believe me, then write the numbers that brought this up on a clean sheet of paper.

[TEXT]

[atethecanary]

[What. Now there is sound too? Great.]

that's stupid. there's no way i can leave the city. why would i leave just to get rid of it? there has to be some other way.

[Julian's tempted to write the numbers on the paper like he says, but he's afraid of what he'll find.]

what does writing it on paper have to do with anything? this is about my tablet

permavoice

[ursoreckless]

Because this is not on any known internet that you know of. It connects through anything you can write the numbers on.

[text] 1/3

[atethecanary]

that doesn't make any sense

[But these numbers keep on being mentioned, so he's going to try it anyway.]

[text;handwritten] 2/3

[atethecanary]

[When he see what happens when he writes the numbers down, he tears the paper up. But he just gets the same thing happening when he tries writing the numbers on another one.]

shit

[text; back to tablet] 3/3

[atethecanary]

explain this

[Video]

[scramasax]

[Image comes on - of a ceiling in a dimly-lit room.

Soft hoarse and young-ish voice comes in - ] -- He - he's right -- [Referring to the above voice response.] - there's also a guide to this - one of the others will - definitely show you -- this - isn't on the computer at all -- ...

[Or so it's on the connector's computer, but this is not an inherently computer-based find...]

[atethecanary]

[Julian might have listened to new voice agreeing with voice above more if it weren't for the video.]

why is there a video of a dark, creepy ass ceiling?

[It reminds Julian of something out of some sort of horror movie, and he's starting to become more frightened than he is agitated.]

if this is some sort of plan to kidnap me, it's not going to work

[scramasax]

-- I'm sorry, I can umm - switch to wri - I can switch to text, if - you want -- ... [Lowly sheepish - he'd attempt some sort of explanation or more elegant response to that but first things first, and explanations are far easier once someone's tried writing the numbers by hand!]

[Video]

[allformii_ko]

[Know what your "tablet" problems could use a little more of?

Cat videos. So here, have a cat staring very intently at the screen at the screen.]

[text]

[atethecanary]

why are you showing me a video of your cat?

[Julian can't say he minds too much. It's better than all of the other stuff he's been shown.]

[text]

[allformii_ko]

[...Is the cat frowning now.]

How come it's not doing the thing?

[Scratch that, is the cat talking now?]

[umbrael]

[In light of some of the previous comments, Doyle is incredibly tempted to reply with '46/F/NJ', but 1. that's really weird, 2. really weird, 3. not helpful, and the last thing he wants is some new guy shitting up the network with dumb questions.]

Well, points to you for noticing an interface change, but points deducted for thinking it's a ~magical software update~.

Anyway, welcome to the network, yes it's real, no you can't get rid of it unless you leave the city, yes you're going to keep getting those echo-pulse things.

Any other questions, while I look for the F.A.Q.?

[atethecanary]

i don't care about your points

don't bother with the F.A.Q. some actually useful people already showed me. if what it says is real

[Julian's still not quite ready to accept everything it says.]

then i don't understand why some jackasses are treating the network like a joke and trying to trick people

[umbrael]

Because 1. they're jackasses 2. we get new people coming in all the time and asking stupid questions instead of lurking and figuring it out on their own, so after awhile these kinds of posts get old.

audio;

[sassymaru]

If only it were some sort of update and not... well. Not what it is.

[Hey there kid. Recognize this voice? Yep. Your cousin's partner.]

Though I doubt whoever came up with it is in any position to be fired, sadly.

[text]

[atethecanary]

[Julian's a bit overwhelmed right now, so while he registers that the voice sounds familiar, it takes him a few minutes before it finally clicks.]

yuji? is that you? this happened to you too?

audio;

[sassymaru]

... yes?

Who is this?

[Is it another cop? Someone -- oh crap, this isn't one of his exes, is it?]