[audio]

[loveyoubaby]

Haha! Wow, this shit actually works!? So if this network thing is real, then this business about the police working with aliens must be true too, right.

[He may or may not actually believe that. Well whoever the hell this is, they've got a bit of a drunken slur going on. Just a bit though, he's still speaking pretty clearly. In fact he actually pauses here to take a drink, clearly unconcerned with first impressions. What, it's New Year's Eve, don't judge.]

Unbelievable. And here I was thinking the guys with Highway Patrol were bad. I picked a hell of a time to transfer, huh? Well whatever, down to business, I guess. My name is none of your business, and I don't wanna be your friend. I already get the basic gist of what's going on here, but I wanna confirm something. I skimmed over something about the Blood Keys bein' cyborgs or something? Someone tell me about that. Excruciating detail is most welcome.

[Anyone from the police station is free to recognize his voice as belonging to "that noisy Max asshole that wears sunglasses indoors like a total dudebro" or something along those lines]

Comments

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

You're in homicide, right? I guess you would know that better than I would.

Is it true what they say? About them being cyborgs or something?

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

Yes. I am.

I haven't worked a case involving them yet, meaning no autopsies to see. But, in all honesty, it wouldn't surprise me if they were.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

If they're taking out so many people, you'd think the higher ups would increase our patrols or something.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

You would think.

Unless they don't care.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

Figured as much. Well whatever, I'll patrol wherever I feel like.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

If I warn you to be careful, you're going to ignore it entirely, aren't you?

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

Bingo.

I can handle it.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

I'll send flowers preemptively to your hospital room.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

That's encouraging.

They better be nice flowers.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

I'm an expert on encouraging. And nice flowers.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

Gotta be the best at something, right?

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

You mean besides in bed? I suppose.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

Oookay, well. That's none of my business.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

Well. Now it is. Since it's infinitely more pleasant than talking about other things.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

I'm not so desperate for a topic change that I'll sit here and listen to you prattle on about what goes on in your bedroom, okay.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

Who's prattling?

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

See, that's the next step. I'm stopping you before you get to that point.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

What if I never reach that point?

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

Well you won't now. I stopped you.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

Or did you.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

I did.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

For now.

You're awfully calm about all this.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

I figured panicking over something that can't be helped wouldn't do me any good.

Either that or I'm just drunk enough not to care. You could tell me my apartment was on fire and I wouldn't panic.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[sassymaru]

Well. That's one way to handle things, I suppose.

Either that or your memory was something pleasant.

audio; [PRIVATE]

[loveyoubaby]

[Max snorts, followed by what could be described as a bitter laugh]

Pleasant, sure. We'll go with that.