[Voice], home phone, Backdated to noon

[originaloddcouple]

[The Dians spent most of their day catering to Mrs. Harvent's complaints and cleaning their own messy shop. Everytime they attempted to reach for a way to access the network, the old crone's voice would order them around.

Eventually, Isaac managed to get to a phone.]

come on, come on, oh there we go HEY IS EVERYONE OKAY?! MIRIA AND I ARE READY TO HELP OUT ANYONE WHO NEEDS SOME ASSIST-

Would you stop your racket, son-in-law? You're giving me a headache. Who are you even talking to?

I'm talking to friends of mine, Mrs. Harvent. I just want to be sure everyone's okay.

Are they okay?

I haven't heard anything ye-

Don't be ridiculous. Who'd want to be friends with you two?

Mom!

Don't give me that tone, young lady!

...Sorry, Mom.

[There's a sigh.]

Just... give us a heads up!

Comments

[ex_elude798]

What crawled up her ass and died, damn.

[Usually he avoids language, and respects his seniors, but he can't help it. Those two are unreasonably, almost insanely nice to people. It's like kicking a puppy.

Two puppies]

I'm uninjured. Getting dispatched for rescue efforts - hopefully there aren't many people trapped by fallen structures.

[originaloddcouple]

Just a little stressed! I'm sure she'll be fine.

I hope you can save as many people as possible. Need anything?

[ex_elude798]

Hope she's not always like that.

I think we're pretty well-equipped, just hoping nobody's been trapped.

[originaloddcouple]

She has her moments!

Be sure to call if there's anything you need!

Need? Who needs what?

Emergency services. I'm just offering supp-

What about me? I nearly had a heart attack, and you'd go running off to save some idiot who got themselves stuck somewhere?

If they need help, I'd go.

Shows what an ungrateful little brat you've become!

But if people are in danger-

I don't want to hear your excuses!

[ex_elude798]

[Wow, this is enough to give him a headache. He thought epic debates at home over what to name cats and roombas got chaotic...]

It's nearly Christmas and people are injured or dying. They're a priority right now, and need any help they can get.

[He says it as clearly and loudly as he can without yelling, hoping (but doubting) that that other voice will be receptive]

i'm not sure how text would go through on a phone--maybe like a generic text reader voice?

[grannyfucker]

Nearly had a heart attack? Whatever happened to giving her the real deal, huh? I thought we had a plan!

[destinedforrock]

[The initial recording leaves Cinderella with a look of considering concern.

Twitches at once to a bit of a grimace.]

...Ap-palling!

[originaloddcouple]

Yeah, the whole city doesn't look to be in good shape.

[Because that's totally what their buddy is upset with.]

But you're okay, right?

[destinedforrock]

[Bats an ear. Puff through her nose.]

Oh~h, I'm. ...Shaken but not hurt, dear, and how's. [Bit of a sour note enters her voice.] ...your houseguest?

[originaloddcouple]

[A smidge of a strain comes into his voice, but Isaac sounds chipper otherwise.]

Well, she's little stressed at the moment, but we could be doing much worse.

[destinedforrock]

It sounds as if you're keeping your heads up. [Curt, but it's agreement. Not happy agreement, but agreement.] And how is your house.

[She doesn't even think to make it sound like a question - she's simply proceeding with talking.]

audio

[synonymouswithdookie]

No problems on this end.

...Seriously though, one of you really needs to tell that old woman to fuck off.

audio

[originaloddcouple]

Oh, good! Stay safe if you can!

Now, she's just a bit stressed with the earthquake an everything! It's no big deal!

What are you yammering about?

T-The stress of the earthquake, Mrs. Harvent.

audio

[synonymouswithdookie]

Hey! Don't take that shit from her! She's bumming in your house, isn't she!?

audio

[originaloddcouple]

Well, she's a guest! We need to make sure she's comfortable and happy-

Are you talking about me? Because you've done a piss-poor job at keeping this place "happy and warm."

audio

[synonymouswithdookie]

Guests aren't allowed to be assholes just because they're guests. I'm just saying.

[doomedtheworld]

[Oh hell no. That creaky old hag did NOT just.]

What the hell is that bitch's problem?

[originaloddcouple]

Oh, its probably just the holiday season getting on her nerves! It's a stressful time of year for a lot of people!

[doomedtheworld]

That's no excuse to let her talk to you like that. Tell her off!

[Or put Vanessa on the phone or something and she'll do it.]

[originaloddcouple]

W-Well, we wouldn't want to do that! It's best to just... keep things calm and orderly! Try to work through the emergency at the best of our ability!

[Almost immediately, the old lady's voice pops up again.]

What's that you don't want to do?

Um... Just a joke about selling the shop because of the disaster. Keeping spirits u-

Even if you did manage to abandon this blight of a business, it wouldn't do much good. Your shop wouldn't sell for much.

Actually, I think it's big enough that it'd interest many pe-

Then you'd come crawling to me once again, scrounging for money.

Mom, we've never-

Well, I won't fix your mistakes once you realize what a wasteful career you've gotten yourself into.

[doomedtheworld]

[Holy crap. Vanessa has never even seen this woman's face and she hates her. She's got a good mental image though, it's all warty and hideous.]

I could go down there and do it myself.... [She's muttering that last part.]

voice;

[anequal]

... Are you okay?

voice;

[originaloddcouple]

Feeling pretty fine, thanks for asking! Yourself?

voice;

[anequal]

That's good. Yeah, I'm fine! My family and I didn't get hurt or anything like that.

It's just... you know. Your mom...

voice;

[originaloddcouple]

Oh, she's fine too!

No injuries here!