drama8om8: (Roger that)
Octavia Serket-Hunter || Vriska Serket ([personal profile] drama8om8) wrote in [community profile] savetheearth2013-11-17 08:42 pm

text/audio;

[ The post opens with a handy little form letter custom-designed by Octavia for people to fill out. Enjoy. ]

Dear Tavia / Alan / Tavia and Alan / President O8ama,

I, (YOUR NAME HERE), am pissed at / super pissed at / really super pissed at / shockingly attracted to you right now. What were you thinking / are you wearing, cutie(s). What you did was irresponsible / reckless / dangerous / actually pretty cool / worse than str8-up murdering a flock of 8a8ies and I can't 8elieve you would 8e so stupid / you didn't invite me / you are not dead / it's not 8utter. Wow, am I ever 8uttmad / asschafed / cheekstung / rearniggled right now. Damn.

To conclude, you are dum8 / 8rave / lucky to 8e alive / actually already punished enough for this / going to get punched in the face / a 8itch / in possession of a really gr8 8utt.

We are / are not friends any more. I hope you die / don't die,

love / no love from YOUR NAME HERE.


[ That done with, she switches to audio. ]

Just thought I'd cut down on the lecture time for everybody. Because while I am sure all of you are oh-so-fucking ready to sate your massive told-you-so boners, I actually have stuff to say! Like "thanks for being super cool badasses and saving us, rescue teams." And "wow those photos being shown on the news are unflattering as fuck." And "please remember we just spent days in solitary confinement thinking we were going to have our brains scooped out." Which means yes! Alan and I are entirely aware of how quote-dumb-unquote my plan was and all the implications of it and blah blah blah don't waste your fucking time fussing at us.

I also want to point out that like. Somebody would have got caught at some point anyway, right? Like this whole deal was only ever going to last so long. And if it had to be somebody it was good that the captives were us! People who didn't fucking talk even a little, no matter what they threatened us with. People who were brave and cool at all times! People who could contact the outside without writing a number in blood or snot or whatever and blowing this whole shitfest operation. You are welcome.

[ There's a half-uttered syllable, then a soft mmgh as she apparently rethinks what she was going to say. Then, in a falsely lighthearted tone: ]

And, uh. Since like. My face is out there anyway I don't really have shit to lose as far as that is concerned! So what if we had me record a message saying that we ain't terrorists. Maybe explain our deal a little or something? And then put it on Youtube or send it to the press or whatever. Like, if there is a way to do that safely and securely and not get caught. And if people think that's a good idea and not me being fucktarded, haha! And stuff.
enrages: (she's a ghost and a bitch)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
NO ALAN, DON'T COME CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.
wirsinddiejager: (daddy issues)

voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
HOLY SHIT THEY ARE A THING.
enrages: if you want to stop getting arrested (stop driving stolen cars)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
NOTHING IS A THING, EVERYTHING IS NOTHING.
wirsinddiejager: (HAVE YOU SEEN ANY TITANS)

Re: voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
IT'S NO USE TRYING TO TAKE IT BACK THE TRUTH IS OUT NOW.
enrages: (she's a ghost and a bitch)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 08:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I ADMIT NOTHING.
enrages: (i'm basically a goddamn jedi)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ endless wailing noises ]
wirsinddiejager: (i'm fucking done)

Re: voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
YOU DON'T NEED TO, YOU ALREADY DID.
enrages: (there's a little flag on the front)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
NOOOOOO
enrages: (there's a little flag on the front)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You would have called him anyways. [ BACK TO YELLING. NOW CRAB IS CUTIE DISTRESSED AND BARKING. ]
wirsinddiejager: (WHAT AM I WILLING TO PUT UP WITH TODAY)

voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Seriously though, what's the deal with that.
enrages: (she's a ghost and a bitch)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
CRAB, BARK LOUDER. COVER MY EMBARRASSMENT.
enrages: down (one day i'm just gonna burn this place)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
It's plaaaaaaaaatooooooooooooonic.
enrages: (bitch im fabulous)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Crab, HOWL AT THE MOON! BE A WEREWOLF!

[ crab is now howling professionally ]
wirsinddiejager: (*eyeroll*)

voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
So you've got deep platonic love for your past life sister. Why is that such a big deal.
pianistofraielin: (Huh...)

[text]

[personal profile] pianistofraielin 2013-11-22 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
i've never heard of fairies with 7-pupiled eyes before though. ...maybe spider-fairies??

wait why fairy magic? omg i feel so out of the loop, what did i miss??

yeah but until you train yourself to be that good it's still a danger we have to keep in mind! actually what's your limit right now, do you know? maybe i can find a way to help you practice that.
enrages: (she's a ghost and a bitch)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know! SHE'S MAKING IT A BIG DEAL!
enrages: (sasquatch can play xbox one)

voice;

[personal profile] enrages 2013-11-22 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Crab, don't stop. Believing. Just hold on to that feeling. [ Crab howls louder. He responds to lyrics only. ]
wirsinddiejager: (WHAT IS MY LIFE)

voice;

[personal profile] wirsinddiejager 2013-11-22 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
That does sound like a big deal.

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