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You have got to be fucking shitting me.

[ Buttmad angry Octavias aren't all that much of an oddity on the network. However, this instance is something special. Her self-absorbed hair-fluffing anger has been dialled up to eleven. Out of a possible five. ]

I go to every dumb lame party every lousy goddamn fucking stupid loser on this network ever invites me to. They are all terrible, because nobody here would know a great party if it smacked them in the face while wearing a T-shirt saying "GREAT PARTY". Then I miss one because I am busy wafting gross titan fumes out of my boyfriend's window and that's when shit goes down?

Really?

FUCKING REALLY?

[ She sucks in a breath. Oh just look at the time. It seems to be incoherent ranting o'clock. ]

This. Is. Bullshit! I have lost time and money and any stupid dumb chance of being an actress over this unbelievable club for assholes. And what do I get in return? What do I fucking get? I get stupid powers I'm not allowed to use because everybody will treat me like shit, lamey-lame weak-ass fairy wings that crap glitter and a hideous freakish eye. Wow! Fucking wow. I feel so incredibly fortunate right now! Watch me while I roll around in all this fucking luck that I absolutely fucking have!

[ She doesn't actually start rolling around. She does stamp her foot like a petulant little child, though. Which prompts a fresh poof of blue glitter to burst from her collar. Um. ]

Urghghrhrhghhh fuck pretty much all of you. Dumbass danger-hogging dicklords. I am going to make super cool secret plans to go after the bad guys and none of you will be invited. And it's going to be great! So you can all suck it. SUCK IT!

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But if I was psycho, I could've killed you guys. And I'm pretty sure evil aliens are psycho.

I also bet their butts are super hideous. So we will go with a different plan! One that doesn't involve ambushing a lone Thunder Whatever Guy.

Like setting things on fire maybe.

Okay, setting things on fire could work I guess. If we can make sure we don't get caught.

Yessssssss! Fires. Fires are a definite possibility! Especially if we like. Set a fire somewhere high up? Because then we can fly-slash-Tarzan up there and back out again before anybody can react. Bam.

Right! And maybe they don't know we can fly and shit like that, so they'd think it was done by someone on the inside. Turn them against each other!

See, we can too come up with super stealthy great plans. We just need a target and we are set. Super set! The most set.

[ Hrrm. ]

Hmm. The tower seems obvious, but I dunno how much setting things on fire there would actually accomplish.

What if we like.

Went there at night when nobody is there and flew up near the top and broke in and set things on fire. And then the guards and dogs and police and shit would be all like. "Oh shit a fire!" And we could try and get into the important bits they're guarding while they put the fires out and look for us.

Holy shit what if that actually worked. That would be amazing.

Seeeeeeee? I can't have been a super successful pirate without being able to come up with amazing plans, Alan. Bitches wish they could think up schemes like me!