[video] [backdated to tuesday]

[wonk]

[Roxy Kurosawa is smiling at the camera, leaning back in her black-leathered revolving chair in front of a small, cluttered apartment. Her cat, Mutini, can be seen dozing off to the side.]

Heeeeeeeeey, network peeps! Halloween's coming up soon, so I thought I'd show off my cool new magic trick!

[Her eyebrows furrow as she brings her hands together, as if surrounding a spherical object that isn't actually there. Finger wiggling commences. You get the feeling that some sort of magic unsound effect should be occurring, but unfortunately, there is only silence, until Roxy finally mutters "Abraca-happen! and -

is that a pumpkin?

Yup, it's a pumpkin all right. Roxy Kurosawa can spontaneously create pumpkins out of thin air. Beware her, pumpkin lord, vine-walker, master of all that is orange and round. She grins wider and hefts it, doing her best to show it off to the camera.

Fuckin' rad as shit, right? I'm gonna be selling these in my apartment building in the lobby, but for you guys, they're totally free! Just tell me you're from the network or something like that so I know it's you.

Also, what're you guys all doing on Halloween? I need some people to hang out with, I think my friends dropped. [Her smile falters a little as she says this.] But, um, excuse to meet new people I guess?

So, yeah. Pumpkins, Halloween plans. Let's hear it, people!

[The apartment building's name is attached.}

Comments

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[wonk]

dude r u serious?

fuck yeah ill come!

thanks a ton omg

[Roxy "im a dumb loser w no friends" Lalonde everyone]

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[drama8om8]

Don't get all gushy and lame, wow! I mean it 8n't going to 8e as gr8 as the party I threw LAST year. 8ecause that was an ACTUAL PARTY and not a dum8 lamey-lame cover up for soul8ondshit.
Last year there were fireworks! And a karaoke stage. And one of the guys from the foot8all team legit almost DROWNED in the chocol8 fountain. It was the 8est!
8ut I guess this year people can. Touch the loot pile. And talk a8out dead guys we used to 8e. Wow. ::::\

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[wonk]

u had a chocolate fountain

why

wat does ur mom evne do 4 a living

also no 1 had m,agc powers @ ur last bday party so therew that

*theres
*maigc
*magic

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[drama8om8]

Why WOULDN'T I have a chocol8 fountain! God.
And my mom, uh. Does old dudes for a living, I guess. Lol.
W8 SHIT SHE'S NOT A HOOKER.
She just gets married a lot! 8ecause her hus8ands have a ha8it of dying on her unfortun8ly. She just can't catch a 8r8k.
She makes out like a 8andit on the life insurance, though. So there's that. ::::\

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[wonk]

its a good thin u addrssed that hooker thing i was about 2 be very confused

y does ur lineface have 8 eyes

also a choclate fountain is a wast e of good chocoalte u could be eating that shit

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[drama8om8]

My lineface has 8 eyes 8ecause I have 10 eyes. 8ut I figured that would 8e overkill in emote form. So I toned it down!

 

ME8NING 8ECAUSE I HAVE TH8S W8IRD F8CKING EYE TH8NG G8ING ON. *8AM.*
And just FYI the point of a chocol8 fountain is to like. Dip marshmellows or something into the chocol8? Then eat those.
It's neat, ok! I am a8solutely willing to waste things if I get to look super cool while doing it. It is a rich girl thing. ::::)

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[wonk]

lets do this in order

1. thats actually rly pretty congrats

2. only counting 8 tho there where r the othber 2

2. fuck u + ur "rich girl thing" shit my mom is marianne kurosawa and i lived in a fuckin mansion b4 i moved to loicke

*locke

why the hell would u need a fountain big enough 2 drown someone in wtf

u

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[drama8om8]

1. No it 8n't what is wrong with you those are ACTUAL PUPILS. That dil8te and contract and shit. It is FREAKY AS HELL.
2. THE PART A8OUT THERE 8EING TEN WAS A JOKE YOU FUCKING STOOGE
2 (2). Then you should understand my need for ostent8tious displays of wealthy 8ullshit! And you don't ACTUALLY need a super 8ig fountain to almost-drown some8ody in if the person in question is dum8 enough to just. Dunk his head in it like an idiot.

I think that covers everything. Except your sudden ina8ility to count to 3 I guess? And the typos ARE YOU ON DRUGS. Don't tell Karson if you're a drug addict or he won't let you in the party.

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[wonk]

JOKES LIKE THAT DONT FUCKING WORK IN THIS SITUATIONI CAN FUCKING MAKE AMGIC PUMPKINS

U CANT BE SARCASTIC LIKE THAT WHEN MAGIC PUMPKINS R A THING JFC

also i can count to 3 those last lines were all part of the same item

(legit tho i dont care how freaky it is it looks p nice)