savetheearth | 01: phone textage

So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.

But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.

But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.

Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.

(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe they just really like being pissed off.

i can't picture that sort of mindset myself

I've probably known a few people like that. I went to basic with a guy who seemed to be on the look out for things to get pissed off by. Sometimes I pissed him off on purpose.

so it was fun for both of you?

Well, it was fun for me. I'm pretty sure he wanted to kick my ass in by the time training was over.

well, as long as it was fun for you... :p
what were you training in

I could have kicked his ass anyway.

Army. Basic training and all that good shit.

:o well color me impressed
we have a few people from the army on here i think

It's hardly impressive. I haven't been able to use anything I learned in the army since I was discharged.

That's not surprising, though. I heard there's a base near by?

sounds about right
but you know
you might get a chance to use some of those skills here

Considering the circumstances, maybe you're right. I don't really know how I feel about that.

i'm not really sure how you should feel either
but at least you're prepared

Yeah, that's true. I guess I'm actually a lot better off than I thought.

silver linings!

I'll take it.

So, did you get any weird powers or anything?

i'm a telekinetic with magic pajama powers

also i can't be mind controlled i guess??
which is nice

01: phone textage

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