01: phone textage

[synonymouswithdookie]

So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.

But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.

But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.

Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.

(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)

Comments

[synonymouswithdookie]

Worse than the government? What's worse than the government?

[steinsgatehaschosen]

This is the work of none other than The Organization themselves!

[synonymouswithdookie]

...Wal-Mart?

[steinsgatehaschosen]

Not Wal-Mart, The Organization! The evil shadow puppeteers who rule humanity in secret!

[synonymouswithdookie]

Oh, that organization. Of course, what ever was I thinking.

[steinsgatehaschosen]

So you've heard of them! That will make this much easier.

[synonymouswithdookie]

Damn right I have. God damn McDonald's. Think you own the world, huh? WE'LL SHOW YOU, YOU SHITTY CLOWN.

No i actually have no idea what you're talking about, pal.