savetheearth | six; text

Why would you need help because of a deer in your yard

[He's going to regret this but animals!!!!]

do you remember candy
the girl who went missing

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It looks fairly friendly!

That thing looks demented! Lock all the doors!

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holy shit that deer is freaky looking. with the glowy eyes staring straight into my soul.

come murder it please oh god alan please i hear you're good at killing terrible monster creatures help

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don't you have a gun???

if i move itll see me

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It looks friendly.

Have you considered creating artificial salt lick to placate it?

Edited 2013-09-16 08:53 (UTC)

the only thing that will ever placate yard deer is my blood on its hoofs.

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I HAVE A SW8RD NOW I CAN KILL IT I'll kill it for you Karson I will Jesus the fuck out of that adora8le scary glowy-eyed little 8astard I swear to god this is it.
This is my moment.
GONNA KILL A DEER.

kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it ohmygukcinggod kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it

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ACTION!!;

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don't you have a car

there's a reason for that saying about deer in headlights, you know

dads car dads car and its standing right by it i have to pass the deer to get to the car and its going to tear out my throat before i make it half way across the yard i dont want to die i dont want people seeing my blood everywhere and hvaing to clean i tu up and theyf woul see my fucke dup blood and they would see the deer coated in my bldo andohmyfuckingogd

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The quality of that photo is depressing.

wow sure lemme break out my fancy ass digital camera and adjust the lighting and take the deers picture at some 1/3s law shit while lying on my back and presenting my soft underbelly to its mighty hoofs WHAT A FUCKING BRILLIANT IDEA YOU ARE BRILLIANT YOU ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON HERE

honestly if it wasnt for your nose, you would be perfectly redundant

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You're being stalked by a deer?

i'm being stalked by a deer.
this is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me and my special power is not sleeping.

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Make a loud noise and it'll run.

Have you never seen a deer before or something or are you just phobic?

last time i saw a fucking deer it killed itself trying to murder the shit out of me and candy.

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It'll go away quickly! You don't need to be afraid of it! :)

I'm turning on audio for this, risking my goddamn life here, just to express my emotions on this matter.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaagarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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shouldertheburden - 2013-09-22 17:26 (UTC) - Expand

Get the shotgun. Or any type of gun.

guns will attract more of them oh god.
they'll hear the sound and come running.
i know it, i can feel it in my bones.
help me boss.

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enrages - 2013-09-20 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

why do you need help with a dear

because
its
going
to
fucking
murderize the shit out of me if i so much as MOVE FROM THIS GODDAMN SPOT.

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i just want you two know that youre an idiot.

die in a murder you inane pisstyping moronic plague

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that deer is the personification of government conspiracies and its out for blood
run karson
run

if i run itll see me

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counterclock - 2013-09-16 20:01 (UTC) - Expand

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enrages - 2013-09-20 06:17 (UTC) - Expand

You do realize you're the meat-eater here, right? Just run at it screaming, it'll bolt.

okay
new plan of action
you come here and run at it screaming
hows that you be the big damn hero you shitty advice dispenser

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whiterabbit_dot_obj - 2013-09-22 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

Is it talking?

no, it just
eating the bushes
and occasionally staring at me.
i think it has another deer somewhere around here, and i'm too scared to look ohgod

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wastingtime - 2013-09-16 19:56 (UTC) - Expand

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wastingtime - 2013-09-23 20:29 (UTC) - Expand

flvhka

[That rousing contribution is a result of Winter dropping her Kindle with a shriek as she sees the picture, and fumbling to pick it up for a moment.]

That's not like any deer I've ever seen before...! What is that!?

yard deer.
yard deer has come to reap the sinners.
none of us are safe.

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peacefulwinter - 2013-09-23 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

it's probably not gonna eat you.

it's probably going to FUCKING SLAUGHTER ME AND MY FAMILY.

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It's a deer.

Just go outside and bang some pots and pans together.

thats your new job.
go bang some pots and pans together, catdogdolphinwaterbearhearing man.
maybe if you listen hard enough, you'll be able to find the deer following my terrified shrieks.

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hells teeth you aint helpin yourself any by bein afeared of it
do ye need somebeast to speak to it or somebeast to kill it
we have both

are you typing like that because of an echo
or is that just
how you write things normally....?

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seabeast - 2013-10-01 03:01 (UTC) - Expand

Run. As fast as your legs will carry you.

ha
ha
ahahaha
ahahahhahahahaha WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING MORON ARE YOU????
THIS IS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION HERE:
ARE YOU AN ACTIVELY DUMB MORON
ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO TROLL ME MORON
ARE YOU JUST
WELL, I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER MORON TYPES OUTSIDE OF THOSE TWO SO I'LL PUT "OTHER" MORON.
WHERE YOU FILL IN YOUR OWN LIL BLANK AND BECOME A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE MORON.

BECAUSE SERIOUSLY
OUTRUNNING
A DEER.
SERIOUSLY?!?!
IM PRETTY SURE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO OUTRUN LIONS AND SHIT, COME THE FUCK ON, HOW AM I GOING TO WIN IN A RACE AGAINST A FUCKING DEER.

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cava - 2013-10-08 06:54 (UTC) - Expand

Do you not like dear?

deer are literally the devil.
like i have been attacked by them before, it will probably happen again in the future.
i fucking hate deer, and apparently they fucking hate me too.

who??
also i have a gun but if i use it, it'll make other deer come and avenge its fallen comrade.

come run over it with a firetruck please oh god.

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