savetheearth | [text (sketchbook)]

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[text (sketchbook)]

[As usual with posts Alan makes from his sketchbook, his writing is surrounded by little doodles; this time there are quite a few depicting a furry creature you might recognise as a Vermedi, as well as what looks like a girl with fairy wings.]

ok so it looks like a few people got new stuff since we went into the mine. anyone got any idea why? I mean we didnt find anything there except some of those hairy things.

so anyway I got something too. and Ive got no idea what it is. its like some kind of leather harness? like idk kind of like horse reins but with 500 different straps. also theres a mechanism that I think is some kind of weird double grappling hook thing? also theres a bunch of giant box cutter blades.

its all got that familiar feel so I think it belonged to past me. but I seriously do not know what it is or where Im going to keep it so my mom doesnt see it.

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Maybe past you was really afraid of heights.

thatd be pretty unfortunate.

Isn't most of this?

well yeah. but good things can still come out of it.

I guess I'm still waiting for something more convincing than "free cookies at a first aid seminar."

theres the whole superpowers thing? and Ive met a lot of new people on the network including my girlfriend so thats cool.

idk, I don't want to count on me personally getting superpowers until I start shooting lasers out my ass or something.

fair enough. idk maybe eventually well get good memories or something. theres got to be some of those too.

Maybe it's because the bad stuff stands out stronger.

Or maybe I should wait until I've actually remembered more than like one thing before I start trying to guess about patterns, but w/e.

yeah Id like to imagine that one thing isnt a pattern. I mean ok for me it kind of is which is incredibly shitty but it doesnt mean it is for you.

Yeah, I guess not. Not exactly encouraging either, but I guess we'll find out sooner or later.

[Huh. Should she have said "I" instead of "we"? Not like she plans on spilling her guts every time she remembers something, but it just kind of slipped out.

...well. She hit send, it doesn't really matter now.]

I. actually saw you in a memory I got recently.

[He wasn't planning on talking about it, but...]

Oh.

[Um. Crap.]

What happened?

you were coming at me and another guy with a sword.

Oh.

[score one more for "what the fuck, past self."]

uh

yeah.

sorry.

[He's not exactly sure what he's apologising for, but it feels appropriate.]

It kinda sounds like I'm the one who should be sorry.

no its fine. I mean it still wasnt you. we shouldnt have to feel responsible for shit our past selves did.

Yeah, I just...

Sorry if I've been kind of weird to you about all of this. I just...really don't think I like past me much, from what I've got so far. And I don't mean to take that out on you or anything.

dont worry about it. past me was pretty much a piece of shit so I know the feeling.

I feel really stupid saying it but it's kind of why I haven't been talking to people here a lot. Everyone's seemed pretty cool but I just keep thinking if I don't get too close to this stuff maybe I won't have to remember more stupid crap about how screwed up I must've been.

no I get what you mean. and if you want to keep doing that its fine its not like its any of my business how you deal with this stuff. but I think its better to get to know people even if it means you might get more memories. it seems were stuck getting them anyway so its better to have people who know what its like and can help you with it.

That...does sound like a better way to look at it.

I guess you'd know what it's like better than anyone.

[By which she means "what it's like to remember creepy childhood shankings," and by which in a roundabout way she means "I dropped the ball but maybe we could try this friends thing?"]

yeah Im like an expert in this. but at least if I ever flip out and try to kill someone Ive got people wholl know whats up and wont let that happen.

plus having friends who know what youre going through is pretty awesome. and all things considered it is kind of cool in a weird way to be friends with someone a second time around.

Don't make me take your word for it, k?

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wirsinddiejager - 2013-09-11 15:12 (UTC) - Expand

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erenplz - 2013-09-13 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

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