four; audio

[enrages]

[ It's a voice post because RYAN BROKE KARSON'S FUCKING IPHONE SCREEN YOU PUNK ]

Hey... Do you guys remember the girl who worked at the cupcake store? Candy. She was on the network with us. Have you seen her lately? I...

[ There's a long pause then a sigh. ]

I talked to her girlfriend; she's gone missing. Said the police were snooping around too. I... yeah. Just. Please tell me someone here has taken her in or is hiding her or---

Candy, please respond.

Comments

[enrages]

No, I didn't...

Did you mind control her into crazy?!

[drama8om8]

Oh my god no! Do you actually think I would do that. Like really for real. Really? REALLY?

[enrages]

Not purposely!

[drama8om8]

Karsooonnnnnn! I didn't even touch her dumb brain, okay. I promise! Double promise. Octuple promise. That's like as promisey as it gets!

[enrages]

I only believe the Octuple promise.

[drama8om8]

Then I definitely absolutely octuple promise that I didn't do anything and I don't know where she is and oh my god can she just show up soon please that'd be great.

[enrages]

Yeah, seriously. I'm... I'm really, really, really starting to freak out now.

[drama8om8]

Uh. Do you have a paper bag? Breathe into the bag. I saw it on TV. Breathe into the bag and I'll just. Try and. Find her brain but not do anything to it? Maybe? I mean that's not mindrapey, right. At all.

[enrages]

I'm not going to breathe in a fucking paper bag; that's just ridiculous. Ugh.

Just... do the mind thing. And keep me updated.

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

 

If I couldn't find her brain then would you need a paper bag. Hypothetically.

[enrages]

.......................I'll go get one. Just in case.

[drama8om8]

Dude she. Might have the same weird shit that one Aria girl has. Where I can't do the brain thing. I mean I'm sure she's fine! Fine. So fine. HELLS of fine.

[enrages]

...Is that a thing? Please tell me it is. Please tell me she's immune to bullshit mindcontrols.

[drama8om8]

Yeah! Yeah. That's totaly a thing! Why wouldn't it be a thing. Hahaha oh man everything is totally cool and everybody is fine! And this is not a consequence of your video being put on the youtube and nobody is coming for you next and nobody will be coming for anyone who may have televised their powers either that's not even a thing LIFE IS GREAT AND FINE AND GOOD.

[enrages]

Oh god, oh man, oh god, we're targets. We're totally targets. We are the biggest targets that ever targeted a shittyass targeting target. They're coming after us-- me probably. Me first, and once I'm dead and gone and out of the way, they'll come after you, and even Alan going full psycho won't help, because they're police and they have guns and tasers and oh god.

[drama8om8]

No! No no no no no no no NO. No! No way. If anybody tries to get any of us I will mind control them I'll mind control all of them they won't get close I will fuck them up I will make them PAY.

[enrages]

Can you... read minds too? That might actually be really useful.

[drama8om8]

I, uh. Iunno. I'll try! Think of a number.

[enrages]

Okay, okay. Got a number. I'm going to think it really, really hard.

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

 

Is it eight?

[ NO MIND READING FOR HER YET ]

[enrages]

...Yes, but only because I thought you'd be thinking of eight. So that was kinda cheating. LET'S TRY AGAIN.

[drama8om8]

Okay okay. Something you can't fake this time! Think of your deepest darkest secret. One I couldn't ever guess. Go!

[enrages]

... Got it. [ please dont mindread please dont mindread ]

[drama8om8]

[ TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD

MAKING TINY HRRRGHGHGHHHH NOISES

SHE CAN FEEL IT

SHE ]

Yeah no I can't read minds.

[ YETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ]

[enrages]

Goddamnit. [ whew ] Why don't you get a useful ability?!