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[comparative_insanity]

[Hello network, have a rather tired and bedraggled-looking Fenn with a blanket around his shoulders, clearly shirtless underneath, a cup of tea curled in one hand.]

You know what can really put a crimp in your sex life?

[Yes, that is definitely a valid question to ask the network early in the morning. The kids can just... not listen, okay.]

Any takers? I mean, apart from these- [He effortlessly extends his foot-long claws and then retracts them again] -which I think can cut through metal and really were a problem for a while there?

I'm pretty sure none of you's gonna be able to guess, seeing as it's pretty specific, so I'll go ahead and tell you, how about that? And no, it ain't personal or dirty as such, just gross as shit.

[A pause, and he grimaces, one hand darting up to massage his left eye.]

It's when your lover kisses your eye in a kind of romantic gesture - bless his heart - and you end up with this... really damn vivid memory of having it gouged out and eaten. Like, the feeling of having your eye still partly attached and chewed loose? [A shudder.] Seriously, I ain't sure how much more messed-up shit I can take "remembering", or whatever it is we do.

[A loose shrug, teacup wobbling a bit.] Sorry to put y'all off your breakfasts, I just wanted to whine a bit. Carry on, I guess.

Comments

1/2

[earnedmystripes]

[There is a moment in which Kotetsu is legitimately torn between horror at this being discussed publicly where children can see it, and horror at...everything else about this.

That moment is filled with silence and an expression that's actually sort of priceless.]

[earnedmystripes]

...Ew.

[THAT'S ALL HE'S GOT.]

[comparative_insanity]

You telling me? I just about hurled, which let me tell you, ain't usually what I do for foreplay. [Nope, he has no shame. None.] Poor Youou almost had a fit.

/sets him up for hideousness

[earnedmystripes]

[sldkfakjdfs]

Oi! We don't need to know about that stuff!!! The kinda crap you get up to in the bedroom should stay there!

[N....o, he does not at all realize how unfortunate his word choice is there, and yes, he will very possibly burst a blood vessel in his face when you tell him. Have some consideration for the elderly, Fay!]

You should be ashamed

[comparative_insanity]

[If Fay's eyes narrow a bit, if his tone turns rather catty, it's... well, it's because he's heard things like that said before in a much more homophobic context, and he's a bit sensitive. He doesn't quite realize that Kotetsu would be like that with just about anyone, so to him it sounds a lot like him being upset about TEH GAY.]

Firstly, crap ain't got a thing to do with what I do in the bedroom either, so don't be disgusting. Secondly, saying I don't normally puke on my lovers - or hinting at the fact that foreplay is usually involved - ain't the same as giving you all the details. And thirdly, it's just sex. I'm sure you've had it too, so there's no call for acting like that.

voice; phone

[contravenes]

That's a mood killer if I had ever heard one.

voice;

[comparative_insanity]

Ain't it, though? [An audible shudder follows.] And if that wasn't enough, I panicked and cut him with my claws. So that went down faster'n a lead balloon.

voice;

[contravenes]

He's all right, I take it.

voice; threadjacking if that's okay

[shut_up_idiot]

He's fine. It was just a scratch really.

[ It's a different voice this time, a bit darker and a lot more British than Fay's southern twang. Say hello to the boyfriend. ]

voice; more than okay~!

[contravenes]

[ ...welp. he's going to mind his own business on that. it's funny, though, that a pair of lovers would both be involved with all of this. ]

Good to hear. It would have been bad if a lung or something would have been punctured.

[lackinginfaith]

That's disgusting.

[comparative_insanity]

You telling me? It's bad enough remembering earthworms with teeth and having to drink blood, but this one takes the cake right enough.

[lackinginfaith]

Hopefully these aren't a sign of things to come.

[comparative_insanity]

God, I hope so too. Especially the earthworms. The hairy things and freaky animals and mutant cops are kinda bad enough. [A grimace.] I mean, not that I wanna lose my eye or anything, I'd rather that won't happen either.

[lackinginfaith]

As far as the animals go, our opponents might start getting ideas.

[these_orcs_must]

Yeah I think that'd kill the mood pretty quickly.

[comparative_insanity]

Pretty much so. It don't help that he thinks it's his fault either. [A small grimace.] Anyway, next time I see a brown-haired teenage boy, I'm running real fast in the opposite direction.

Action

[shut_up_idiot]

[ Here Fay, have your boyfriend hovering worriedly around the bed like the mother hen he is, all while still managing to look just slightly disapproving about how you decided to share these news to the network. ]

How are you feeling?

Action

[comparative_insanity]

[Fay breathes out quietly and reaches out a hand to Youou, all the while glancing guiltily to the already healing cut he'd managed make across Youou's chest. It hadn't been deep, but he still felt bad about it.]

I'm fine. Grossed-out, but fine. It wasn't as if I actually felt it or anything, I just remembered what it was like.

Action

[shut_up_idiot]

[ He would be lying if he said he hadn't been apprehensive of moving too close to Fay since the "incident", since he didn't want to risk causing another one, but when Fay reaches out to him he can't not obey go, can he? So he sits down on the bed and takes the offered hand, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of it. ]

I think that's kind of enough. This thing really has it in for you, doesn't it? [ It bothers him a bit, how he seems to be getting off pretty easy so far. ]

And don't worry about this, [ He gestures to the cut on his chest. ] it's just a little pain.

Action

[comparative_insanity]

[Fay immediately scoots closer, so that he can lean his tired head against Kurogane's chest, still taking care to avoid the healing cut. He's been apprehensive about touching too, but it's not like he can keep away from now on just in case he might have another flash of memory.]

Seems so. I mean, I've had it easy in some ways, right? It's not like anything that's happened to me has been that hard to hide yet. [A small sigh, and he tilts his head so that he can kiss the edge of that cut.] And it's still too much pain for a stupid accident.

voice;

[hollowleg]

... That is a hell of a memory, dude.

voice;

[comparative_insanity]

Yeah, no kidding. I mean, I didn't actually lose my eye or anything, but it's enough to give me more nightmares, and I sure didn't need 'em. [A small grimace.] Also, why would you eat someone's eye?

voice;

[hollowleg]

I don't know, man. There are some weird exotic-food chefs that swear by roasted eyeballs, but I don't find them appealing at all. There's nothing to them except... jelly!

voice;

[comparative_insanity]

Ew. [He makes a face, shaking his head emphatically.] I mean, I guess I shouldn't be talking considering my diet nowadays, but that's just gross. Not to mention, it wasn't even roasted or anything. He just... chewed it out as it was? I got the feeling it wasn't just 'cause he was some kind of eyeball-gourmet.