text

[wonk]

[The post begins with a large black screen, ominously blank for a few seconds before lines of code begin to fill it. The "hacking" continues, taking up more and more of the screen, until finally the flashing green text boldly proclaims:

YOU HAVE BEEN HACKED. YOUR SYSTEMS ARE NOTHING BEFORE ME. PREPARE TO BE TERMINATED.

It remains for about five minutes, just long enough for anyone who fell for it to panic, and then is replaced with the following:]

ok so
be honest
how maby of u fell for that
*many
like for real
i wanna kno how gullibe u guys r
bc i dont want 2 be stuck with no idiots
if we have to save the earth or some dumb fuckin shit like that
from all these ALIEN INCADERS
*invaders

so yeah
also i have pink eyes now is taht normal
*that
p sure that aint possible
like
geneitcallly
i dont think thats a thing

Comments

[somesayinfire]

The name sounds kind of familiar, but I haven't had a lot of time to read lately. Sorry.

A lot of cats? Did any of them have thumbs? I know, weird question, but I swear it makes sense in context. Probably.

[wonk]

technically all cats have thumbs but no opposable thumbs

is this about those mutant animal things

[somesayinfire]

Oh my god, thank you. I've literally been asking if cats even have thumbs since I got here and you're the first person who actually gave me an answer.

Anyway, yeah, it's about those things. Specifically I was wondering if they were spreading out, if you'd seen anything like it before you came to Locke, but I guess they're the same way as our weird alterna-memories.

[wonk]

isnt there a vet though u could have asked her

yeah it would be p hard to hide monsters everywhere

but one city + surroundings is easier

[somesayinfire]

I haven't met her yet, if there is one. Also I kind of phrased it like a joke every time I brought it up. That could've hurt my chances.

Is that just following logic, or do you have some experience in planning hostile takeovers? You're obviously an awesome hacker. We could use someone like you on our side.

[wonk]

yeah thats just logic

i could be wrong tho if you forget the monsters once you leave maybe they can make them invisisble or something

no one else saw the scorpion but network ppl right?

[somesayinfire]

...Huh. Good question. Nobody else really seemed to come to help, but I figured it was kind of like everybody agreeing that it wasn't worth their time to check it out and if they all ignored it, it would go away.

You'd be surprised how often that happens to people.

[wonk]

i dont buy that

someone would have tried to get video at least even if they didnt help ppl do that kind of thing

so probably no one else saw it

[somesayinfire]

Great. Now I was being chased by something that actually sounds like I hallucinated it. Maybe that DJ guy was closer to the truth than he thought. Maybe the Matrix really does have all of us.

[wonk]

dj would make a shitty morpheus

[somesayinfire]

I guess you'd know, Trinity. Better Morpheus than Neo, though. No one man should have all that power.

i haven't seen this movie

[wonk]

fuck you im morpheus

dj should be trinity hes perfect

you're not missing much, it's cool

[somesayinfire]

Why, does he look that good in a skintight leather catsuit?

[wonk]

i just imagined that and HOLY FUCK

hed be AMAZING

i gotta get him to cosplay somethn like that

[somesayinfire]

Take pictures. I'm sure he totally won't kick anyone's ass because of it.

[wonk]

i will