text

[wonk]

[The post begins with a large black screen, ominously blank for a few seconds before lines of code begin to fill it. The "hacking" continues, taking up more and more of the screen, until finally the flashing green text boldly proclaims:

YOU HAVE BEEN HACKED. YOUR SYSTEMS ARE NOTHING BEFORE ME. PREPARE TO BE TERMINATED.

It remains for about five minutes, just long enough for anyone who fell for it to panic, and then is replaced with the following:]

ok so
be honest
how maby of u fell for that
*many
like for real
i wanna kno how gullibe u guys r
bc i dont want 2 be stuck with no idiots
if we have to save the earth or some dumb fuckin shit like that
from all these ALIEN INCADERS
*invaders

so yeah
also i have pink eyes now is taht normal
*that
p sure that aint possible
like
geneitcallly
i dont think thats a thing

Comments

[goodboybestshot]

[Luckily the severity of the network being hacked is a little lost on him as he's JUST found this whole thing. However, that font looks really familiar.]

...Roxy??? Also pink eye is gross affliction. Have you seen anyone for it??

[wonk]

wiat
thad?

and i dont meant liek the dsiease
my irises are iteralyl pink
*literally

[goodboybestshot]

In the text- well sort of. Im writing on my notebook to you! How is that possible?? Roxy did you do this? Did you somehow break reality??

I didnt know eyes could be pink. :?

[text | iPhone]

[purplepants]

[Didn't panic over it lucky enough. Bruce was too busy linefacing at his phone.]

The condition pink eye?

[It's hard to tell with that style of writing.]

Re: [text | iPhone]

[wonk]

no i mena i have pink irises
like how most ppl have borwn or black
*brown
i have pink

[text | iPhone]

[purplepants]

Well, melanin production can change eye colours but that's normally during infancy. I doubt you've developed albinoism so late in life, but that could explain reddish eyes....Then again, who knows on this network?

text; written.

[eras]

i'm afraid i figured that hacking my notebook was probably a hard thing to do
like legit notebook i mean :)

also considering some people are turning into robots (?) and aliens i wouldn't be too worried about pink eyes

Re: text; written.

[wonk]

robots?
tthis is so fucke dup oh my god

text; written.

[eras]

i don't know i mean i don't think there's anything wrong with robots

[ she's like 99% sure she was a robot, she should probably Defend her People or something here. ]

it is pretty weird though yeah.
did you get the guide yet?

[synchronous]

[ Yeah, there's no way he was going to fall for that bullshit hacking attempt, even if he has only just found this network, like literally right this second.

That pink typo-ridden text seems familiar, though...

DJ's response is handwritten. ]

It's not genetically possible. Have you seen a doctor?

[wonk]

didnt think so
gonna go get it checked out thx
not rn no time but tomoroow probably

[comparative_insanity]

yea weird eyes is a thing that kinda hapens
mine turn yelow and catty when i smell blood
dont go to a doctor tho u could get in trouble
if u rly wanna check it out go 2 Strider hes safe

[wonk]

yeah i read the faq
gonna go see him tomoorrow

dude what does that look like though
that sounds cool as shit

[text]

[mezool]

considering i'm using a paper laptop, i would have been really, really impressed if you could pull that off!

Re: [text]

[wonk]

man all you people r ruining my fun

w/ ur nonelectronic devices n shit

cant fool ANYBODY

[these_orcs_must]

OH CRAP MY SYSTEMS! DON'T YOU DARE RUIN MY MINESWEEPER SCORES!

[frantic minutes pass. Then the nature of this horrifying practical joke become clear. Robert stares at his computer screen for a minute in irritation.]

You got me.
I'm not super good with computers.

[wonk]

thats like an entire two people so far

ngl thought you were being sarcastic but guess my deadly haxxor skills r still sharp

text;

[drama8om8]

NOBDODY WUOLD FALL FOR SOMEWTHIGN THAT LAME ITW AS DUMB AND YOU'RE DUMB

 

 

[ yeah no she totally fell for it for a minute there ]

Re: text;

[wonk]

omg you ttly fell for it didnt you

FUCK yes i still got it

[somesayinfire]

Oh no, you just made my computer explode and also now the only music I have is Jethro Tull, and I think my head blew up unless that was a different movie that ends in -ers.

Pink eyes? Sounds kind of cool, actually. No, it's not normal, but nothing around here has been normal lately.

[wonk]

hey i managed to fool like two ppl so far

yeah im getting the "everythings crazy" message w/ the monsters + police stuff

text;

[enrages]

you type worse than i do after a week of not sleeping.
jesus christ, are you actively trying for that many typos or is that actually your superpower?

Re: text;

[wonk]

my superpower is pink eyes pay attention

did u rly go for a week w/ no sleep thats p intense

text; thru chat client

[hawaiianheir]

[CompSci student laughing at the 'hacking' attempt, thanks for that.]

okay so i'm going to level with you
that was a pretty great prank
like i wasn't going to fall for fucking script kidding shit straight out of a batch file but that was straight out up hollywood hacking
i can respect that
also weird eyes seem to be
kind of normal here
so no worries
you're in
well i won't say good company
but similar company

Re: text; thru chat client

[wonk]

the best part was i didnt even have to do it myself

theres a website for this shit just go to hackertyper.com its fuckin great

thanks for ur support w/ the eyes