[open] monstas!

[amberhearted]

Who: Alexander, open!
When: March 29th through the first week of April.
Where: Various locations in Locke City.
What: Encounters with the no-longer-quite-so-mundane item monsters both on and off the clock.
Warnings: tba!

Various prompts in the comments!

A: Playing cards versus Starbucks
B: Answering a monster-related 911 call
C: Bring your own adventure

Prompts are in prose, but it doesn't matter which format you use. I'll match!

Comments

A: 3/29 Saturday, ~6:30AM: Wherein Starbucks comes under attack

[amberhearted]

Rejoining the work force means the occasional Starbucks run for coworkers. It's an errand Alex is more than happy to do, finding the opportunity in and of itself yet another privilege after previously losing it.

Rather than the sheathed sword or the unloaded rifle in the backseat of his truck, he arms himself with a paper of scribbled orders and joins the line of early birds waiting for their caffeine fix. Everything goes smoothly -- he even flips the paper and sets it down on the counter so the barista can double check it. Fifteen minutes later, he's out the door with two drink carriers and a paper bag hung from his wrist, thanking the person who graciously held the door open for him.

This streak of good luck is about to come to an end.

As he steps onto the lot, he hears a car honking angrily. Glancing in the sound's direction, he sees a strange set of silhouettes -- flat and rectangular. He's just about to reach Binklesworth, his truck, when the silhouettes become discernible. In the dim light just before sunrise, light enough for the pole lights to have already shut off, are four pink-and-white cards.

They are as tall as an adult and marching towards the entrance of Starbucks. The party is composed of: the King of Clubs, armed with a sword; the Jack of Clubs, armed with a spear; the Eight of Clubs, armed with a crowbar; and the Seven of Clubs, armed with a metal bat.

Alex nearly drops his drinks.

[ OOC: These are playing card monsters! Their limbs protrude from the illustrated design on their suit side. The deck is based off of Bicycle's pink reverse deck. ]

[chalicejoker]

So playing card monsters traipsing through traffic has a bit of a negative effect on traffic. Namely, they slow things down, even if you're a motorcyclist. Hajime's very glad he's wearing a helmet, because that's just as good as a mask, right? He's staring in disbelief at the playing cards and wondering if he should turn into the bugman form he usually uses, or use the armored form he'd regained with the Ace of Hearts. But it would be easier to explain sudden superhero armor than the Lord of the Bugmen suddenly appearing in traffic...

The armored form messes with his motorcycle, too. Good enough. He summons his transformation belt, runs the Ace of Hearts through his belt buckle, and both he and the bike change. He peels out of the traffic snarl in pursuit of the cards.

[amberhearted]

Alex has just recovered from the shock of seeing real-live playing cards when the screech from Hajime burning rubber hits the air. He winces, then hurries to his truck, nearly dumping the drink holders onto the roof so he can grab his keys out of his pocket and unlock the door.

He throws a bewildered glance over his shoulder. The pink cards have stopped and twisted their thin bodies around to find the source of commotion. Alex doesn't recognize Hajime in this form, familiar only with him as the Lord of the Bugmen.

[chalicejoker]

Hajime's coming in fast when he feels the sense of an echo going off in his head. He ignores it, because these cards are suddenly pissing him off. They're wrong. The king is not a tarantula, the jack is not an elephant, the eight is not a scorpion, and the seven is not a jellyfish. He doesn't even take a moment to think about this as he pops a wheelie and goes in to ram the king, using the motorcycle sort of like a knight might use a warhorse.

So far, he hasn't noticed Alex in the area. He's too focused on delivering armored motorcycle justice to these inferior card monsters. Watch out, card creatures, the Joker's running wild. He is also yelling at them in his monster language, partially to see if they respond to the language of other card monsters, and partially because it is excellent for cursing in.

[amberhearted]

Alex is more than happy to let the armored guy who sort of looks like a human-sized Gundam (to his eyes, anyway) wrestle with the cards while he wrestles with getting the door open and his drinks in the passenger's feet area. Casting glances over his shoulder every couple of seconds, he catches brief snippets of the wheelie, then a card down, and then the Jack of Clubs jabbing his spear Hajime's way while the other two swing their crowbar and bat at him.

As he's whipping his cab door open to snatch his sword, he freezes for half a second, then slams the door closed. That is a language he thinks sounds familiar. The only person he's ever heard it from -- not the mention the voice itself--

He unsheathes his sword, throws the sheath in the bed of his truck, and charges into the fray.

[chalicejoker]

Hajime is well aware that he's under attack on multiple fronts, but at least he gets the satisfaction of putting tire tracks all over the King. Besides, whatever he used to be--and to some extent, whatever he is now--thrived on fighting. He's twisting in an attempt to catch the crowbar and bat on his armor as he briefly touches down with the bike only to rear up in another wheelie and try to swing it to knock the spear out of the Jack's hands.

He barely glances at Alex when Alex charges in, though that's more out of necessity than just not caring. Fight now, figure out what's going on later. "See if you can get the one with the bat!"

[amberhearted]

Hajime's second wheelie attack connects. The Jack, stubbornly refusing to release his spear, instead hits the asphalt.

Because the cards are all focused on Hajime and his noisy (and quite rude) motorcycle, Alex has an easy in. He swings his sword across the back of a card (either the Eight or the Seven -- he can't tell from behind).

The blade slices right through the card, successfully halving it. Turns out that was the Eight. The bottom half falls flat to the ground, legs wiggling helplessly. The top half follows suit, angrily waving its crowbar around. It catches Alex in the ankle.

With a startled, "Ow! You little fucker," Alex half-hops away and swings his sword again-- this time to knock the crowbar out of the card's hand.

Meanwhile, the King picks himself up and tries to slash Hajime's tires.

[chalicejoker]

"Hey! Don't you dare!" The bike touches down from its wheelie as Hajime sets about trying to kick the king's weapon out of his hands without actually getting off the bike.

It's at this point that he's noticed Alex there also fighting the cards. "You have any idea what the hell's going on with these pretenders?" He sounds pretty offended at the other card monsters running around like this.

[amberhearted]

The crowbar clatters to the ground. It's shortly followed by the King's sword.

"No, I--" His face scrunches up in confusion. " 'Pretenders'? Whoa!"

He ducks and sidesteps a swing of the Seven's metal bat with inhuman grace -- yet another product of Echoes. Speaking of Echoes, though, whatever trigger set off an Echo in Hajime finally hits Alex. It leaves him temporarily disoriented -- an easy target for the Seven and its bat.

[chalicejoker]

"Yes, pretenders!" Hajime sounds annoyed. He throws another kick in the direction of the card that was trying to slash his tires, revs the motor, and charges over in an attempt to run over the Seven. "Stupid thing isn't even a jellyfish..."

[amberhearted]

The Seven is just about to bring its bat down on Alex's back when Hajime runs it the fuck over. The clatter of the bat falling to the asphalt snaps Alex out of his reverie in time to notice the Jack stirring. He jumps on the card before it can rise.

Thus the battle has been won. The King and Seven are flattened, the Eight cut in half, and the Jack is pinned under Alex's weight.

Alex takes a moment to catch his breath and sort out the fishing knowledge that had flooded his brain after the Echo. What even... Why fishing?

He casts Hajime an odd look. "Why jellyfishing? I mean, jellyfish. Is it supposed to be?"

[chalicejoker]

Hajime hopped off the motorcycle, the better to look at the other downed cards. "I...the monsters I fought. That I remember fighting. Playing cards were important, and the suit of Clubs wasn't like this. The Seven of Clubs I remember should have been some sort of jellyfish." Not that he remembered what it looked like, just that it should have been a jellyfish. "Like if you're going to do something stupid with card monsters, you should at least do it right..." He nudged at the pinned Jack with one of his feet. "This one's supposed to be an elephant. You want me to finish it off?"

[amberhearted]

"Uh..."

He lifts the side of his foot, looking at the ridged rubber sole of his sneaker, then glances back up at Hajime. "Sure. Do you want me to get off...?"

There's something a little odd about the prospect of finishing the card off when it's already down. Alex isn't bothered, exactly, but he isn't raring to deal the 'killing' blow in this scenario, even if the card isn't human... or animal...

3/30 Sunday Morning, 6:30 AM

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Fil tries to keep from buying Starbucks coffee to once, at most twice a week. Aunt Mardis has a perfectly good coffee maker in the house and good beans to go with it; there's no need to spend hard-earned money on Starbucks coffee. However, there was something about Starbuck's salted caramel mocha that he just couldn't resist, especially after a morning jog. Six thirty was actually really early for Fil, particularly on a Sunday morning jog would clear the last of the cobwebs from his mind.

And unlike Alex, he does drop his half-finished drink on the ground when he exits the Starbucks after Alex.

"Damnit. I knew I should have just slept in today. First we get giant snakes, and now this?"

[amberhearted]

Today, Alex had gone to Starbucks to make up for yesterday morning's Clubs on a Mission card fiasco. So when he exits and finds yet another group of familiar shapes marching up towards the doors, he once again stops in his tracks -- this time, in exasperated disbelief.

"You're shitting me."

Today's army -- unit -- perhaps deck is the best word to describe the group, even if they're not complete -- consists of the King of Diamonds, armed with an axe; the Jack of Diamonds, armed with a halberd; and the Five, Four, Three and Two of Diamonds, each holding some manner of weapon far less glamorous than the royals -- metal pipes, metal knuckles, a mallet...

Fil's drink hits the ground, the sound of which snaps Alex's attention away from the oncoming playing cards. He glances at Fil. There's something about that particular remark...

"Can you fight?"

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Well, no point in beating about the bush now, especially since those giant, weapon-carrying playing cards didn't look like they were here for Starbucks coffee. Besides, it looks like Alex was a Numbered, or he wouldn't have asked the question, since Fil was fairly sure other man overheard his first remark.

"I can, but I left my axe at home. Wasn't really expecting to have to use it when I'm out on a morning job." He answered, watching as the playing cards marched closer. He could here a commotion starting behind him in the Starbucks store as other coffee-drinkers close to the windows spotted the playing cards marching up.

[amberhearted]

At least two of those baristas behind the counters are rubbing the bridge of their nose or facepalming at what looks like a repeat of yesterday morning.

Backing up to the doors, Alex kicks the bottom of one with the back of his foot a couple of times to grab someone's attention so he can pass off his drinks. Before he lets the door swing shut, though, he glances at Fil, then inside Starbucks again. He points to and motions for one of their wooden chairs. An older man drags it to him, holding the door open enough for Alex to carry the chair out.

Setting the chair down sideways, he stomps down on the legs, breaking them off to use as makeshift weapons. He talks quickly while doing so. "I got a sword, but it's in my truck." He tosses the first two chair legs Fil's way. "Maybe you can use these first, steal the King's axe."

The cards are almost close...

[moreweaponsthanyou]

If this happens again TOMORROW when he heads out for work, he'll know not to drop his drink, but to hand it over to another person first. And maybe carry a weapon with him, but even with what went on during the giant snake event, carrying swords or axes will draw odd looks and questions that Fil was not eager to answer. He'd managed to stay under the radar from the press and the police and he'd like to stay that way.

Fil caught the two chair legs handily, one in each hand. He supposed he could use the two makeshift clubs just like an ax until he could get a real one in hand. IF he could get the King's ax off of the card. "You've done this before....during the giant snake business? Or more recent?"

Then there was no more time for chitchating because the Diamond cards were attacking.

[amberhearted]

Whoops, looks like Alex won't have time to break off a pair of chair legs for himself.

"Yesterday, actually!" he says, lifting the broken chair.

Since Fil is in front of Alex and thus closer to the cards, the King of Diamonds swings his axe at Fil. Before the others can chime in, Alex rushes forward with the chair, swinging it horizontally at the group. He manages to knock some of them to the ground, but finds himself having to use the chair as a shield against the Jack's halberd.

"They must have some kind of grudge against this place!"

[moreweaponsthanyou]

"Yesterday?" Fil yelps, first ducking a swipe of an ax towards his head, then hurriedly side-stepping a metal pipe. He spots Alex locked in combat against the Jack but couldn't help since he was busing dodging again. He responded forcefully with the clubs in his hands, smashing the left one one the two of Diamonds' hands, forcing it to drop the pipe before following up with another strike on the Diamond's head.

"Did the barristas refuse them service or what?" Fil was forced to jump back as the King makes another swipe at his head.

[amberhearted]

His eyes dart towards the sound of the metal pipe hitting the ground. Potential weapon.

With a new goal in mind, Alex decides to sacrifice the chair. The halberd narrowly misses his arm as he gets the hell out of the Jack's immediate range with a grace that certainly isn't human. He bends down, snatching the metal pipe before the card can reclaim it, and circles around Fil and the King.

"Didn't make it to the doors," he shouts, swinging the pipe into the King, hoping to get the axe out of his hands and into Fil's. "Haj-- I mean, a--"

His sentence is interrupted by a metal knuckle sandwich right in his shoulder blade. Acute pain bursts from the area. Alex grits his teeth and hisses in a sharp breath between them as he stumbles forward, almost right into the King's back. He manages to catch himself instead and faces the Diamond that threw the punch, lifting the pipe just in time to catch another fist.

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Fil was about to reply but he saw that metal-enhanced punch on Alex's shoulder and he sees red. Ducking down low, he swipes his makeshift wooden clubs against the back of another Diamond's knees that was swinging a mallet towards Alex's head, forcing it to fall on the ground, before following up with foot on the Diamond's head.

"You alright?" Even as the words left his mouth, the Jack was attacking again, the halberd narrowly missing taking Fil's arm off. It was enough though to rip through Fil's shirt sleeves and leave a narrow cut that starts bleeding. It hurt, but somehow didn't hurt as much as he thought it would.

[amberhearted]

"Yeah!" he manages, more a harsh expulsion of breath than a word as he pours all of his strength into pushing the metal-knuckled card off balance. He's on it before it even hits the ground, stomping down on each arm before the card can swing more punches. He doesn't exactly look majestic or anything you might expect from a battle scene, legs wide-spread as he struggles to grab one of the card's hands and tear the metal knuckles off, but appearances aren't exactly on the top of Alex's priority list right now.

"You?" he finally shouts, too preoccupied with the card to confirm Fil's status visually.

[moreweaponsthanyou]

"Fine!" Fil grunted as he was forced to jump back again by the Jack's halberd. His wooden 'clubs' was now much shorter than when he started with, forcing him into far closer contact with the remaining cards then he liked. Seeing the mallet on the ground dropped onto the ground by a downed Diamond nearby he dropped the mostly useless clubs for that weapon, reaching it just in time to block an axe strike by the King.

By now, he was looking nothing like his usual neat and tidy appearance. Strands of his hair had fallen out of his ponytail, and there was blood and dirt on his exercise clothes.

"Why is this my life? I just wanted a coffee!" He yelped as the Jack got in another attack, this time his leg.

[amberhearted]

At the yelp, Alex chances a glance over his shoulder. The sight of the King and the Jack ganging up on Fil makes his breath catch. Not good, not good. Two bladed weapons and Fil's already made their acquaintance if the blood on his clothes is any indication.

It is quickly decided that the one metal knuckle he's managed to grab is good enough; there are more pressing threats to attend to. As a precautionary measure, he whacks the card's other hand with his pipe not unlike how one would hit a golf ball with a club, then approaches the other party from behind the King with clipped, hurried strides.

Just as the King holds out his axe for another horizontal arc, Alex swings the pipe right into the axe's handle. Thanks to the angle at which the pipe and axe met, the axe goes flying right into the King's front -- with the bladed portion lodged in the card, in fact.

This is a perfect opportunity to steal the axe...