text; laptop

[really8adegg]

You know, I was wholly convinced this entire thing was some kind of inscrutable viral advertising campaign, but that was before the gaggle of disfigured pigeons started trying to get in through my bedroom window; I suppose there's no arguing with that. If I am to concede I'm going mad, at least I'll have some company.

I expect if anybody does know anything more about what's going on here than a person could work out from backreading these messages, they're not telling. But if if anybody has any advice on getting rid of uncannily manually-gifted birds short of barricading oneself into one's flat, I shouldn't mind hearing it.

Comments

[horrorterribubble]

kill em

and then catch the bugs and give then to me

[really8adegg]

How do you propose I do that, exactly? I'd prefer to keep the windows between them and me, if it's all the same to you.

[horrorterribubble]

in that case

nuke them from orbit

[really8adegg]

Ah. Thank you for your sagacious advice.

I'm afraid the only weapon I keep around the place is an antique cutlass, and unfortunately until yesterday I was convinced I was sane, and so have never felt the need to learn to use it.

[dorkytracksuit]

A couple of us are trying to find their source and stop it. Short of that, if you capture them they go back to normal.

[horrorterribubble]

hmm.....

how many people in this city do you figure own an antique cutlass and write like they're inside a really fuckin purple novel

[really8adegg]

... Hmm. I wonder.

I would have hoped that most of the people I've ever shown my antique cutlass to would know that a line break is not an adequate substitute for a comma, but there are, of course, exceptions.

[really8adegg]

And what exactly does "capture them" entail? Need they be incapacitated or simply trapped?

[dorkytracksuit]

Either.

[horrorterribubble]

LOL

LOL OH MY FUCKIN GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

no look

no

no shut up we're not doin this here k

just

hang on

txt to arianna's cell

[horrorterribubble]

are you for real

[really8adegg]

I might as well ask you the same thing. Bird autopsies? Really? This had better not have anything to do with your people.

[horrorterribubble]

my people?? what the hell girl?

look i'm a doctor somebody had to do it

[really8adegg]

I see. Perhaps I'll take my chances with them after all.

[really8adegg]

This is right up your street and you know it. This is where I would smile knowingly if I were less put out that you didn't see fit to tell me about this any sooner.

[horrorterribubble]

k i'm trying to puzzle out whether you're accusing me of creating the teeth birds

that's what's happening here right

[dorkytracksuit]

Just be careful. They seem to be getting more dangerous lately.

voice [phone]

[comparative_insanity]

Oh ew, that sounds terrible. I guess barbed wire outside the window or... like, birdseed with sedatives in or something might seem a bit extreme, huh?

[really8adegg]

No, but I think you know more than you're letting on to the rest of them. Am I wrong?

[really8adegg]

[after quite some time]

I see what you mean. I didn't expect pigeons to be so ... difficult.

text

[really8adegg]

Hmm. I don't know that I have birdseed or sedatives specifically to hand, but you might be onto something there. I don't know that I've the luxury of dismissing very many things as 'extreme' when I'm dealing with these kinds of would-be interlopers.

[dorkytracksuit]

Did they hurt you?

[really8adegg]

Not seriously, but they were certainly very determined. I think I've dealt with the worst of them, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit shaken up.

voice;

[comparative_insanity]

Yeah, it's not exactly what one could call a normal situation, right? I've been trying to plug up just about every little crack in the walls here, but if those weird rats get in again I'm fixin' to get me some rat poison and praying that human eyes don't mean that they know what it is. [He makes a displeased little sound.] I can't go kicking 'em all to death.

text

[really8adegg]

Well, it sounds like the same amount of rat corpses either way round.

[dorkytracksuit]

Yeah. Do you always talk like this?

[really8adegg]

Yes.