[Video] | Backdated to April 3

[italktofish]

Ahoy there, everyone!

[Arthur isn't quite as peppy as usual. Still energetic, but ever-so-slightly subdued. He's also standing in front of several cardboard boxes. It's hard to say what's inside, though one of them is partially opened and ostrich feathers and a sequined cloth are poking out.]

Well, I guess this whole NUMBERED thing finally proved to be TOO MUCH for my SHOWGIRL GIRLFRIEND! She left me!

[There's a sad sigh, but Arthur perks up a little again as he gestures towards the boxes.]

And she left all this JUNK here! I don't need it, and I don't WANT it! So I figured I'd see if any of YOU wanted anything! There's some GOOD STUFF in here!

[He rummages around inside the boxes, pulls out what appears to be a sequined thong, and shoves it back inside very quickly while acting like he didn't pull out anything weird at all. There's a nervous laugh.]

So...ANY TAKERS?

Comments

[wingsister]

[There's a talking horse peering at you through the screen, Arthur.] :Is there anything that might look nice hung on the wall of my stall? I've been starting to think it might be pleasant to have some decoration for the place I live.:

[italktofish]

[HELLO TALKING HORSE]

I think I might have JUST THE THING!

[And he starts rummaging around in another box, and he pulls out a gigantic feathered headdress that is much, much too large for a stall, what are you thinking, Arthur?]

[wingsister]

[Congratulations. Your peering horse is now a staring horse.]

:Yes. That... might do. I don't suppose you deliver?:

[Don't mind her, she just echo/pulsed back some memories from that feathery thing.]

[italktofish]

Oh, SURE, I can bring it wherever--it's been a while since I've BEEN OUT ON AN ADVENTURE!

[wingsister]

:I don't know if going to my stable is exactly an adventure--but you're welcome to come whenever you can. It's in Locke City.:

[She gives him more specific directions for how to get to her stable.]

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[alilyinthemoonslight]

[Lily blinks.]

I- I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Curry.

Sadly, we're trying to keep down on the extra clutter...

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[italktofish]

Ahhh, it never would have lasted anyway. She just wasn't the right one for me!

[A sigh.]

And are you SURE?

[He perks up.]

There's some GREAT STUFF here!

[And he's now offering her what appears to be multicolored dance lights.]

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[alilyinthemoonslight]

Well, there's plenty of [Oh no Lily, what are you] fish in the sea...?

[Her face scrunches. That probably wasn't the best analogy for this particular person. Or was it just a really bad pun? She's not sure.]

B- but, I'm fine! Really. My fiancee and I don't really need... dance lights...?

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[italktofish]

[He bursts out laughing at the fish in the sea analogy.]

THAT THERE ARE! And some fish won't LEAVE BOXES OF JUNK AT MY PLACE!

[He perks up at that denial of dance lights.]

But do you need a WEDDING SINGER? I've done TONS of weddings!

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[alilyinthemoonslight]

I- I hope not, those would be very weird fish otherwise...

[Ahem. Gulp. WAIT, WHAT?]

A- a wedding singer...? [Oh god Winter don't kill her.] I don't know if we've got anything like that worked out...! [Sure, Mr. Curry would probably be invited regardless, but...]

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[dragon_blossom]

Is it all stuff like that?

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[italktofish]

For the most part, YEAH!

But then there's the sports memorabilia and the encyclopedias and something I THINK is some kind of WEIRD MUSICAL INSTRUMENT...

[dragon_blossom]

Okay, could you... could you switch to video and show me this so-called musical instrument?

[Video]

[italktofish]

HERE IT IS!

[He's holding up this thing.]

[dragon_blossom]

...what the hell?

[notbloody]

What was that?

[italktofish]

Nothing! Nothing!

It was NOTHING.

[He is not going to explain sequined thongs to a poor, innocent puppy, no way, no how.]

[notbloody]

But it was something.

[Now you made her curious.]

[italktofish]

No, NO! It's NOTHING! REALLY! But how about THIS?

[He makes a frantic grab into the box for something, anything else he can distract the puppy with.

...and it's the sparkly bra that goes with that sparkly thong. Smooth move, Arthur.]

[notbloody]

It is a set of two things?

[But of two what... wait.

WAIT.

You can almost see how she puts two and two together.]

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[knights_king]

Guy.

Come on. [The thong.]

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[italktofish]

What?

[He will deny that thong's existence as long as he can, what are you talking about, come on? Cue nervous laugh.]

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[knights_king]

[Arthur winced as he pictured how hairy Curry would be if he got naked.

OH GOD WHY DID HE DO THAT????]

Just--forget it. ...It'd be like a hose in tall grass.

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[italktofish]

Is something THE MATTER, chum?

[He starts rooting around in the box.]

Don't think I have any HOSES!

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[knights_king]

No, it's-- [Not] ...okay...

So, uh--showgirl girlfriend, huh?