The blackout blinds cast patterns on the ceiling but you're feeling fine [February 2]

[dead_black_eyes]

Who: Lazarus Lawliet and Richard Stroud (open to Tony)
What: Things are changing and Lazarus seeks out someone older and wiser.
Where: Richard and Tony's place
When: February 2, Monday
Warnings: Possible swearing, mentions of adult situations



L had been surprised (though maybe he shouldn't have been) when Richard had told him he could come by in an hour. Though Tony's guardian has always insisted that L is welcome at his home, he struggles to take him up on it as often as he could. Boundaries mean different things to the two men, and while L makes it his life's work to push and prod at every locked door and guarded expression in his life, Richard is content to leave well enough alone... even, where L is concerned, things that others would view as a clear signal that the detective is out of his element and sinking fast. It's respectful, but L has gotten used to knowing that when he wants help from Richard, he has to ask for it, so he's swallowed his pride and done just that.

Hopefully, he'll be able to shed some light on recent events... and maybe to offer him some guidance on where to proceed from here.

Comments

L+ Richard

[dead_black_eyes]

L arrives right on schedule when told Richard he'd arrive, but he's unaware of the super strength and speed that Tony has echoed back. As he approaches their front door, he stares, noticing that there's a crack in it and the knob is missing. Shaking his head, he gingerly pushes it open.

"Richard? It's L, are you all right in here?"

[brotimaeus]

It hadn't taken long for Richard to decide that removing the door handles was probably the best course of action. The front door, of course, would have to be replaced (he didn't want people breaking in even if they were capable of self defence) but as for the rest.. it made more sense to just get rid of them until Tony could control his strength.

When it comes to people needing help from him it's never that he's entirely unaware that it's happening. Of course he's seen that Tony has been sliding, but his ways of stepping in are subtle and it's much easier when he lives with the kid and can see how he's doing from day to day. In the case of Lazarus.. it's not that he doesn't care, simply that there's often a lot on his mind.

If he can't look after himself first, he's never going to be in a position to help others, and Richard is never doing quite as well as he pretends to be these days.

"What?" At first, he's forgotten about the door, but as he goes to greet the man and catches on to what's holding his attention he flashes a quick grin and huffs out a laugh. "Oh, that. Yeah. Tony's had another pulse and it's been hell on the doors." The casual way it's said makes it clear he's not angry at all.

You really have to learn to laugh at these things.

[dead_black_eyes]

Richard's laughter seems to make Lazarus uneasy, though the intent was probably the exact opposite of the outcome. It's clear that Richard isn't angry, but with the range and power that Tony's gotten back up until now, he has a lot of questions about the latest thing to shake up his friend's existence.

"What has happened...?" he inquires cautiously, trying to ignore the way the doors just look off without their knobs. "I can think of a few things that might warrant a move like this, but none of them are very encouraging..."

[brotimaeus]

"An increase in strength." Simple enough, really. He steps aside to let the other man in and pushes the door shut behind him, securing the latch above the missing handle.

"We're dealin', but it's easier on the doors this way 'til he's got more control of it."

Not being able to pet their young wolpertinger without risking hurting her is probably more upsetting for the teenager. "Not the worst thing that could'a happened."

[dead_black_eyes]

Lazarus winces slightly at the confirmation. It's simple, but that doesn't change the fact that it can be pretty devastating. Ultimately, he's pretty disquieted; if Tony had gotten this back sooner, that flailing punch to his face after he was shot could have knocked his head clean off, or snapped it all the way around, broken his neck... any number of horrendously unsavory things, truly. He tries not to dwell on them, even as he grasps for a way to look on the bright side.

"Well, at least... he can defend himself better, now. We won't be worrying as much about him getting attacked, just..."

Killing people? Getting on the news? Being hunted by military helicopters? The problems L came with suddenly seem so pale and simple in comparison.

[brotimaeus]

"He'll be alright. We've got this. He's not gonna be on his own while he's dealing with it."

Richard rubs the back of his head, glancing off into the house. The same kinds of thoughts have occurred to him as well, but it's not really something he's wanted to dwell on either. Any wrong move with that level of strength, it uncontrolled, could mean disaster.

"What did you need?"

[dead_black_eyes]

He knew it would be uncomfortable, but he hadn't counted on feeling so foolish, whiny and ridiculous when he tried to start giving voice to some of the things he knows Richard has experience where he lacks it.

"'Need' is a strong word..." he starts, wincing when he realizes he's immediately discounted himself right out of the gate. "I just... something really nice has happened to me. And someone else." Is it clear? Does it need to be more explicit?

"I don't want to mess it up, but I feel like I almost definitely will. It's me."

[brotimaeus]

One eyebrow lifts, if minutely, as he silently, gestures for L to come in and sit down. He didn't need much more detail to get the idea, but the thought that L would get himself into a situation like that was...

It was more than enough to have him scratching the back of his neck while he puzzled over it.

"You ever heard of a self-fulfillin' prophecy?"

[dead_black_eyes]

L does trail after Richard, slinking the direction indicated by his gesture and taking a hesitant, perching seat in a nearby chair. Richard seems puzzled, which has his heart immediately sinking; is it so unbelievable and strange that he would find someone to engage this way with? He bites his lip and lowers his dark eyes to the ground.

"I've heard of patterns," he says softly. "The types of things that are probably going to ruin this have been happening over and over for years. I've tried to make some changes but they're the kinds of changes that can only help so much, if they help."

[brotimaeus]

The source of his being puzzled isn't exactly that and it's certainly not that he finds it funny. He takes a seat as well, leaning back slightly, taking this new development in while he considers the fact that L would come to him for help over it.

"If you've already decided it ain't gonna work out for you, then you'll find a way to make that be the outcome."

He's sure enough of that, despite understanding what L means. "Not that I don't get bein' worried about it."

[dead_black_eyes]

The fact that Richard gets it is, at least, a comfort, even if L feels like he must be doing a terrible job conveying the situation. His vagueness certainly can't be helping matters, nor can his obvious insecurity. He thinks he's ugly, broken and sick, and no matter how far he's come, he feels like there's a beacon over his head constantly broadcasting the facts. Anyone who feels differently has clearly missed them, and will hate him all the more when they figure out that he's a fraud.

"Yeah, you're right..." he says, turning his gaze away, feeling distinctly judged. "Not everyone is strong enough for this kind of thing. Or brave enough. Maybe it's just hard to come to terms with that."

[brotimaeus]

"Hmm."

Richard leans back, settling comfortably, tilting his head just slightly as he observes the younger man and tries - at least in part - to put himself into his position. They're similar in a lot of ways but very different in others and there aren't many ways for him to think around that.. but as far as understanding being unsure about relationships goes...

Yeah, he can understand that.

"Somethin' like this, I reckon it comes down to how much you want it to work. Bein' brave ain't about not being scared."

[dead_black_eyes]

Even if Richard tries to understand, that means a lot, and goes a long way toward helping L out immensely. He's strange and doesn't think like most people, but in the end, he wants and fears the same things as anyone else, often far more intensely.

"Just wanting something isn't enough, though..." he says, his tone faltering. "I've wanted things my entire life, and worked hard for them, and usually I come up horribly disappointed. What is bravery if not the opposite of cowardice?"

L + Tony?

[oncedevil]

Yeah you two talk, meanwhile Tony was in his room minding his own business while playing with an egg. Okay, that might come off as rather weird, especially being as he was very gingerly trying to roll that egg between his hands with an expression of utmost concentration. Why, you might ask, is Tony playing with an egg? Well it's simple, the very same reason all the door handles are removed. If he's not paying attention or even a little careless then he breaks something.

So far he's managed to not shatter this egg, so far. We'll see just how long that lasts.

[dead_black_eyes]

"Tony?"

L knocks at the door, eyes resting on the empty doorknob.

"Hey... Tony, it's L. I've come to visit. Is it OK if I let myself in?"

He doesn't wait for an answer proper, pushing open the door just a crack.

[oncedevil]

"Gah!"

Quiet as he was, L still startled him. Enough that the poor egg he'd been trying to be so delicate with is crushed, well, like an egg. He curses a little under his breath, collecting a nearby paper towel he has for that eventuality.

"Yeah, come in," He grumbles as he wipes egg goo and shell from his hands. Well, so much for that exercise. A sigh.

[dead_black_eyes]

Tony's startled yell startles Lazarus in turn, and he stiffens, bracing against the wall. For a second, he thinks he's interrupted something personal and potentially very humiliating, but... ah, there. No, it's just an egg, which raises far more questions than personal time would have.

It also reminds him of a few days ago, and he has to bite back a smile.

"So the doorknobs are off... I understand there have been some big changes since Lapland. Either that or you've installed a stove somewhere behind your bed..."

His tone is teasing as he cranes his neck around as if to look for such a thing.

[oncedevil]

Thankfully that isn't the case, though given the latest bout of problems that doesn't sound like a wise thing to attempt right now anyway. Durable as he may be, no one wants to deal with that.

Let's not think about that.

"A stove?" He glances at his bed as though expecting to see one, what are you on abou-- oh, the egg. Yes. He shakes his head and flops back onto his bed in defeat. The room is sparse, not nearly as sterling and sterile as L's mind you, just lacking in much in the way to make clutter. The creepy sword, a little corner desk with a journal, couple posters. Otherwise relatively normal teenager fare.

"Man you aren't kidding. I'm afraid to touch anything lately."

[dead_black_eyes]

Tony's room is neat and tidy, but even if it can't compete with Lazarus' in that regard, he can probably say that there's never been a fire in it, which Lazarus cannot.

He might not know a lot about keeping things feeling normal, since he makes every situation he enters instantly weird, but he can try, and he takes a seat at Tony's desk. He doesn't need to ask or be told that it's probably not a good time for a hug or a handshake.

"You'll get used to it... and I'll have to get used to not worrying so much about you. Won't that be strange," he comments.

[oncedevil]

To be fair, it's mostly neat because he doesn't own enough to make it messy. He's very minimalist, more out of habit than choice. There has definitely never been a fire in there to his knowledge, though, that's true.

"Heh, you think that's possible?" He shoots L a teasing grin, folding his arms back behind his head. Pretty harmless like this, at least. "I'm getting worried," He comments more quietly, staring off at the wall with a little frown.

[dead_black_eyes]

"It's healthy to worry a bit, especially when something's new and scary," L says, clasping his hands and leaning forward with his elbows to his knees. "You might have to make a few temporary adjustments... maybe don't play-punch your human friends for a little while, let people like Hajime and Shou take you through those ropes. They could handle it, I'd wager."

[oncedevil]

"I don't punch anyway," He frowns over at L, actually looking a tiny bit hurt at that. He tries very hard not to be mean-spirited you know, especially with what he's turning into. "You've got a point though, I should talk to them. See how they dealt with it."

It's a nice reminder, he doesn't have to be a monster alone. At least there's that.

[dead_black_eyes]

"No, that's true..."

He says so quietly; even though he has personally been punched in the face by Tony, it wasn't on purpose, so he doesn't count it. He doesn't try to forget it, either, just... make his peace with it, like so many other things that have happened.

"Speaking of Shou... how are things with him? Haev you spoken recently?"

[oncedevil]

Never been one to rough-house, he was always the 'picked on' kid on the playground. Too quiet, and hung on to every word his parents told him. Maybe that was part of why he had such a hard time letting go. Once everything was gone, he didn't have that rough and tumble attitude to fall back on to get him through hard times.

He felt so guilty for so long after that, even knowing he really had no control over what happened. Stuck in a terrified mindless panic anyone would do the same.

"Hm? Not really," He sounds a little glum about that. "Been kinda quiet for a while. So much going on, you know? Don't wanna bug him."

[dead_black_eyes]

Lazarus was never "that kid," but he honestly would have been had he been in any sort of school environment before the age of 14. By that point, he was attending classes with adults, and by this point, other adults tend to look at him uneasily, with a little bit of pity and sadness.

He's been in that terrified, mindless panic before; sometimes when his meds aren't right, or something happens, or even just out of the blue, it can set in out of nowhere. Only those closest to him have witnessed what he's like when he's totally out of his mind, and he knows painfully well that holding things against someone in that mindspace is both cruel and unfair.

"Everyone's been busy. You should call him," L suggests. "I'm sure he's not avoiding you on purpose, and he'd probably be thrilled to help you with something he's uniquely equipped to. He's done things like that for me, before."