[text/video] VEGAS, BABY!

[grannyfucker]

Watch this.

[When the video focuses, it's a slot machine. Jovan's hand reaches into frame to pull the lever, and the three images go spinning until eventually, he lands on triple diamonds.

Then he moves to the next machine over to the left and pulls that lever too. It eventually lands on triple dollar signs.

Next one to the left, he pulls. It lands on triple cherries.

The video moves faster as Jovan yanks on the lever of literally every slot machine in the row. The video is moving too fast now for much to be understood, beyond the fact that he wins every single game. Triple lemons, triple bells, triple sevens, triple dongs, triple Simon Edwards's drunken face...]

I just made more money than most of you will ever see in your entire lifetimes!

Comments

[Action]

[italktofish]

GREAT GALLOPING GUPPIES!

[Guess who's noticed your winning streak, Jovan?]

THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

[Guess who's also holding a drink and is red-faced enough that he's probably had several before this one, Jovan?]

HOW'D YOU EVEN GET THEM TO DO THAT?!

[Action]

[grannyfucker]

[He stiffens and jumps in surprise, shoving the phone behind his back as he whirls around to face Arthur. His eyes are wide and he fears he may have just suffered a heart attack.

But no, he's not dead yet. So everything must be in order with his heart.]

How did I--what?!

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[hotshots]

Careful, bro.

They see the same machine paying out so many times, they're gonna get suspicious.

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[grannyfucker]

Are you even LOOKING? That was just EIGHT MACHINES I won on, in a row all at once!

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[youngestone]

holy shit

video/text;

[grannyfucker]

[He pulls on another lever for yet another slot machine, this one landing on triple poops.]

Holy shit indeed, my friend!

[sylvanguard]

Holy shit. Watch out for the casino. They might think you're cheating somehow using your phone.

[grannyfucker]

Well it's a good thing I'm not taking any video of it any more, isn't it?

[what do you take him for, a complete idiot?]

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[wirsinddiejager]

is that an actual power you have. is that actually a thing.

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[grannyfucker]

What, are you telling me not ALL you network people can do this? I thought this was just part of the whole number perks for everybody!

Text

[buildyourworld]

You know, they have CCTV watching those machines. They are going to get suspicious of you winning non stop on them. At least have the patience to space your winning out.

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[grannyfucker]

You say that as if I can stop winning!

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[drama8om8]

How come YOU get luck powers too?
Luck powers are MY thing. Mine! The one stupid dum8 thing I have had since the start. You can't just muscle in on my echo turf! THIS IS SUCH 8ULLSHIT. YOU ARE 8ULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

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[grannyfucker]

How good could your luck possibly be, if you got arrested and made out to be a terrorist?

If one of us has luck powers here, I think we both know who's got the better ones.

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[shineonyou]

we started off on the wrong foot. let's be friends.

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[grannyfucker]

Oh, now Satan comes crawling back to me for my friendship?! Is that how it is?

[Text]

[greenisthenewblack]

Yeah. Gotta say that you really ought to be careful with that trick.

Still pretty cool, though.

[Text]

[grannyfucker]

Yeah, I guess it is pretty cool, if you think the ability to practically shoot money from your fingertips is "pretty cool."

[ursoreckless]

actually it's just pocket change
especially after they take out the taxes from all that
and if they decided that you won it fair and square

[grannyfucker]

Hey, nobody likes a Debbie Downer!

[Voice]

[adquartum]

Well that's... actually quite lucky.

But how did you know it would work? Or did you film that over and over again, until it did?

[The idea that he'd cheated was just a little distressing...]

[text]

[grannyfucker]

Please. You think I have enough money to keep doing this over and over to try and get a perfect recording?

Text

[epimethean]

This is so unfair.

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[grannyfucker]

Clearly someone's never heard the most famous and useful proverb of life.

"All's fair in love and Vegas."

[squicksilver]

[ Nothing in Vegas surprises him anymore, and so for a moment he's willing to accept the idea of Triple Schlongs being some sort of payout, however upon further consideration it's fairly clear what's going on. ]

My, my! Welcome to Vegas! I see you're already having fun. Goodness, it looks like you've won something, too! Emily, darling, tell the nice young man what he's going to be taking home tonight.

[ The horrible doll on his shoulder obligingly shrieks: ]

DICK!

[grannyfucker]

[what the fuck.]

What the fuck.

text;

[saviorsoul]

whoa1 how are you even doing that

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[grannyfucker]

What, you think I know? What makes you think I've got any idea what the hell's happening here?