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[squicksilver]

[ Alex is holding his phone in a selfie video shot. He’s in his street clothes, hence no glitter or sequins, but there is… something perched on his shoulder. ]

Hello, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I see you’ve all been terribly busy, what with traffic problems and power outages and echoing back pastry and —

HEADS STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASSES!

[ The something just talked. It’s a doll: a creepy, horrible doll that just now seemed to come alive. Alex shifts the camera angle, so her maniacal grin is more clearly visible. ]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Goodness, Emily. You naughty girl! Nobody likes to be reminded how short-sighted and parochial they are. So, without further ado…

There’s been another murder, ho-hum for Vegas, right? A Thomas Lowry from Colorado here for a convention. Sound familiar to anybody? I never saw him on the network, so I don’t believe he was part of our little club, but who knows? Anywaaaay! Shot in the heart and found in a gondola in the Venetian.

In other news, the pink light came back, and this time it seems to be here to stay. Unfortunately it’s been encouraging our latest batch of —

SICK MORONS!

— eccentrics, who were already abnormally excited by the murders. And finally… hm well. I suppose I might as well show you this, cos I was there.

[ He scrolls through his video clips, finally clicking on one of them. He speaks in a voice-over, above the muted sounds of shrieking: ]

The local shellfish decided getting boiled in a pot wasn’t quite what they wanted out of life, and… well…. as you can see…

[ The Bellagio fountain is roiling with crustaceans: crabs pour over the sides of the fountain, and scuttle sideways away. Lobsters wave their great claws, balefully. One of them manages to clamber up a railing, jump down and pinch an eager acolyte of “Children of the Shell” in the ass. ]

Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s very amusing, isn’t it Emily? But nothing particularly out of the ordinary for Vegas, right? And certainly not worth a trip down here, to sort out what’s going on.

[ His voice is sounding increasingly strained. ]

Right, well. Carry on! And I just wanted to say —

[ Emily hurls herself at the phone, filling the frame with her fixed, awful grin, whilst screaming: ]

GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE, YOU SUPERHERO IDIOTS!

Comments

[senseandcecilbility]

[ What the hell, this is Vegas. This is his Vegas and then there were pink lights and shellfish blocking his delivery route.

Enough was enough. He could take giant snakes and secret networks. Heck, he might even accept aliens from an entirely hypothetical standpoint. But nobody, nobody messes with Cecil Keller's delivery route.]

I am no superhero, Mister Ventriloquist, but I was at the Bellagio and managed to offer a lift to...some.

[The network image shows a mailman glaring with rocklike determination at what seems to be a rear view mirror, if the warning "Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer than They Are" is any clue. He has cavernous circles under his eyes and is driving at the astounding speed of 20 miles per hour. Cecil may embrace the fact that he has gone completely bonkers like all the rest, but he is not, under any circumstances, breaking the law. Not even for the creepy cultists clearly following his mail van.]

[squicksilver]

[ WOW posting and driving, Mister Mailman? That's one of the few things that is illegal in Nevada. ]

Er....

[ And that's the most coherent thing Alex can say right now, because c'mon he's seen Men in Black and the whole postal workers are all really aliens thing is making total sense in a world with killer crustaceans. Eventually, however, he finds his tongue and says: ]

That was you?

[ Because he seems to remember a paddy wagon that looked like a USPS truck. ]

Also, er. Behind you?

[senseandcecilbility]

Indeed.

[Unfortunately, he broke his faithful Motorola StarTAC while hammering it against a killer lobster during the seashell incident, and so he thinks and hopes that the police will not pull him up if he talks to the rear view mirror itself.

As for postal workers being aliens...]

Oh, you can see them too?

[Cecil stops the truck to sort through a pile of letters and insert a couple of them into someone's mail box. The cultists' ominous black car stops a few feet behind him.]

...It is terribly annoying. I have already told them I'm an atheist..

[imbibing]

[This is the second message on the network she's watched today that has literally left Misato flabbergasted.]

What's with your doll-thing? You might want to tone it down a little, you know?

[She's assuming this is some sort of ventriloquist act or something. Alex is a magician, right? That kind of trickery is probably standard in his field.]

[squicksilver]

Ahaha! This little one is Emily. Say hello, Emily.

HIYA TOOTS!

She turned up when all of this started, for me. But she didn't find her voice, as it were, until these latest little happenings.

[ It is ventriloquism, but that's not a skill he ever used to have. Nor the ability to balance her on his shoulder so perfectly. ]

[imbibing]

[Misato smiles cheerily.]

Hi, Emily!

[Then directs her attention back to Alex.]

Oh? So were you a ventriloquist in your past life?

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[buildyourworld]

[ Starting his reply with a scowl because yeah, creepy, rabbit survivor. ] Will you stop it with the doll? It's creepy.

[ The rest of the information relayed however, is quite alarming because the increase of claws activities is not helping on top of yet another water related murder and pink light. ]

Did the claws attacked anyone of ours? Those fanatics, think you can find out more about them?

[ Before he forgets. ] I heard the doctor is in Vegas, did you contact him?

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[squicksilver]

Ah....

[ He was, in fact, attacked by a couple of giant prawns, but he edited that bit out. Smoothly: ]

The shellfish didn't discriminate. Equal pinching for all. As for the nutters...

[ A twitchy shrug. ]

...I've tried to stay well away from them.

[ In case they find out that he's more than a magician. ]

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[buildyourworld]

So it's not a Numbered specific issue then. That might become problematic if there's an increase in activity. You stay safe.

[ What is this never ending strings of problem they are entwined in?! ]

Does those lunatics do anything other than roaming the streets?

video

[boredallready]

That's lame. Her mouth doesn't even move.

video

[squicksilver]

[ Kids. Kids. He HATES kids.

Emily shrieks: ]

EVEN LAMER: YOURS DOES!

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[boredallready]

[Hey, he's 18, legally he's an adult! Just ignore that he has two years of high school left. He does frown a bit at that though.]

Well, your jokes are really bad, too!

[Video]

[italktofish]

[So he's just rolled into Vegas after a hell of a road trip, but...]

WHERE ARE YOU? I'LL COME TRY TO TALK THE LOBSTERS DOWN!

[He is even still in the driver's seat of an old-looking RV, man. He has failed to pick up on the fact that this is not, in fact, actually still happening. Such is road trip fatigue.]

[Video]

[squicksilver]

[ He's about to thank the kind soul for offering, and —




wait. ]

Oooh, really? I say! D'you have experience in this sort of thing? Negotiating with crustaceans?

[ And he thought the postman dude was crazy. ]

[lackinginfaith]

Now you want us.

[squicksilver]

[ Wiseass ]

Maybe not you.

[dragon_blossom]

What Kari said.

[squicksilver]

And definitely not you!

[ KIDS STAY HOME!!!! ]

Video.

[flamberge]

[Unlike everyone else, Karl doesn't care too much about the doll or attacking shellfish. Murder and fanatics are far more important to focus on.]

I take it the local law enforcement has no known leads about the murders, at present?

[Much as Mr. Deputy Superintendent would LOVE to call in and ask for deets, some cop on the East Coast calling in to ask about some crime on the other side of the country would look a tad too suspicious.]

And those eccentrics, though the term your doll used feels far more accurate, have they done anything noteworthy or displayed any abnormal behavior following this murder?

Video.

[squicksilver]

No. Not known to me, anyway. "Local law enforcement" doesn't usually share the details of their investigations with local illusionists, believe it or not.

[ Because a random magician nosing around isn't suspicious at all. He makes a show of thinking about the man's second question. ]

Hm, abnormal? Why, no. No, not at all —

APART FROM EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM!

video;

[saviorsoul]

You're takin' this different than last time... And what the heck is up with that doll?

video;

[squicksilver]

[ He's just going to smoothly assume that what's meant is that he's less freaked out by everything, and calmer. ]

Well, I suppose you could say I've got used to it. Besides, one has to take the bad with the very, very good, right?

video

[featherduster]

[ There are... many things that need to be addressed here. Many.

But first: ]

Is that an invitation to crash at your place?

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[squicksilver]

[ You know, for all the protesting... ]

[squicksilver]

[ Emily shrieks: ]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!