003 | video; + movies;

[shineonyou]

Hey, yo, 'sup. JoJo here.

[ He waves, also showing off some fancyass leather gloves. Despite his friendly attitude, he looks pale. When he speaks, he’s out of breath. ]

Got some requests for another movie night. [ huff. ] So I’ll play those in a bit. It’ll give you somethin' to watch while waiting for me to show off my new super power. You guys wanna see it? I mean, I think it’s pretty cool.

[ huff puff. He holds up a small, Harlequin Romance novel (The Dare, specifically). He presents the book to the network much like a stage magician presents a new prop... before he starts tearing it to pieces. Each page is torn out and ripped up; not even the cover survives. In the end, there’s a pile of what was formerly a particularly hot, steamy novel. ]

So, I’ll ruin the suspense... I can put it back together. It takes a longass time, but, man, like a phoenix, this crappier Fifty Shades will rise from its higher quality ashes.

[ huff. He takes off his gloves and just shoves a hand into the pile of ripped paper. ]

But, like I said, we’re gonna be here for a few hours. So while we wait, here’s some more movies...

[ huff puff. On the schedule tonight and throughout the next day are a few old Godzilla movies, Wickerman, The Bee Movie, Space Jam again, Birdemic and the sequel, half of Gravity before JoJo half-heartedly apologizes and says it’s too stressful, a Batterman movie, MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE, White Chicks, and Billy Madison. In the corner of the screen, he’s set up his webcam to focus on the former book throughout the movie marathon. If you’re observant, you might notice the pieces of it slowly pulled together until entire pages are mended. But you've got to be insanely observant—it’s like watching Game of Thrones streamed off particularly slow internet while also running Skype and iTunes simultaneously. A little more obvious is that Jonas passes out halfway through the first movie and doesn't move except to skip Gravity before passing out again.

In the end, the book's back together and it takes an hour or so after the last movie, but JoJo wakes up, looking worse than before. He puts his leather gloves back on, runs his hands through his hair, and offers a sleepy grin. ]

So here's the real question... [ JoJo presents the book to the network again. The text on some of the pages on the inside is missing. He doesn't seem to notice, though. ]

How am I gonna make some big bucks with this power?

Comments

text;

[alilyinthemoonslight]

[ Luckily, Lily is bored. When not dealing with her finals or commuting back and forth to home, she pretty much just is home. She... also doesn't pay much attention to the movies, so shortly into one Godzilla film: ]

So, is it any good?

Not the movie, obviously.

The book.

text;

[shineonyou]

[ The text notification wakes him up a bit. The first response he sends Lily is an incoherent "djghhhhhhhhhhhj." The second, though: ]

why you wanna know about that book??

text

[testsonseashells]

Imagine archaeologists would be quite interested.

[Mordin didn't stick it out through the movies, but he figures there's no reason for anyone to lie about such an obscure power, and then afterwards ask how to use it.]

video;

[shineonyou]

I've seen Jurassic Park. That's a terrible idea.

[Video]

[charcoalfeather]

[Finals and helping the Dians aside, Rakka wasn't very busy at the current point in her life. And, honestly, she was getting more into these "so bad they're good" movies, and the Godzilla movies made her smile.

Halfway through the second or so Godzilla movie - they kind of blended together and she was kind of tired - Rakka had to finally remember to say something.]

Oh, uh, thanks for showing some of these Godzilla movies. This reminds me of watching them back home.

[Video]

[shineonyou]

[ He startles at the message, waking up from his doze. ]

H-Huh? Oh-- Oh, yeah. No problems, girlfriend. They're pretty badass movies, yo. I'm thinkin' a lotta people will enjoy 'em. So thanks for sharing!

video;

[yerawizarderi]

[Lets be real here, what the fucking does Eri got to do beyond being rich and snooty and shit? not a whole lot. So he finds himself coming back and forth between movies and watching more and more of the book coming back together. Impressive. Sorta. After the book is done, Eri levels a non-plus stare at the feed.]

Well, I guess I can say your shit taste in mowies reflects your shitty powers well. Anyone with a brain will know to pay you by salary an' not hourly, though. That is if anyone cares to sling money at you at all.

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[shineonyou]

Woah. Woah, buddy.

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[orangehoodie]

Maybe if you combine it with some trick to make that thing go faster.

[He like. Tuned in at the beginning, watched Godzilla (Godzilla!!!!!!), fell asleep, and woke up during Batterman before coming back at the end of Billy Madison. Way too long. Way too long...]

Your audience would have to camp out.

video;

[shineonyou]

Yeah. Kinda takes forever, yo. Show business definitely ain't for me. Besides, an audience is too stressful. I ain't got time for that kinda stress in my life, y'know?

[video]

[mistakesmakeuswhoweare]

Does it only work on books?

[Video]

[shineonyou]

[ He shows off a pile of wood planks just sitting in the corner of his room. ]

That was a desk once. Also it works on people. Haven't really tried it out on much else. Ain't got the money to lose another desk, yeah?

[ He waves a gloved hand at her. ]

text;

[clawkind]

you could look into teaching hospitals
someone who passes out a lot would probably be really useful

[is this Nyah's weird way of asking if he's ok? yeah, actually. weirder still is that her suggestion is genuine]

text;

[shineonyou]

oh gross i dont want to be some kinda science experiment!!!! what if they try to take out my brain or something? i've seen waaaay too many horror movies like that.

audio;

[phoenix_temple]

I'd avoid using it at all. It seems like it takes a lot out of you... And I've seen that happen at bad times it's a really bad idea, people could've died.

But really, what kind of movies were those? If you're going to stream bad movies, you should've included something less obvious like Night of the Comet, at least.

audio;

[shineonyou]

I just got low blood pressure, yo. No need to worry 'bout me.

But real talk: what's Night of the Comet? I'm always takin' suggestions for movie nights.

Video

[imbibing]

You should probably wait until your powers get stronger. No point in overexerting yourself for nothing, you know.

Video

[shineonyou]

Yeah, I guess that's legit. I mean, I was thinkin' if I kept working at it, I'd get better. Or echo back stronger powers. 'Cause I got a really weird memory with this junk, and I think it meant I get mad good at this healing thing.

Video;

[the_fist]

OK. So, you unbooked the book and now it's a book again. Can you do that with like, electronics? 'Cause, I accidentally cracked my ipad.

Video;

[shineonyou]

It depends. Y'gonna pay me, bro?

[voice]

[sahin]

If you're asking, it seems your health isn't a priority.

Forgery.

[voice]

[shineonyou]

...I like how you think, man. Deet me, though. Healin' junk up-- how can I use that to create fake, expensive shit. Like I can't just magic up a Gucci bag with this, y'know?

text

[abhero]

destroy things w/ great emotional value w/o the owner realizing it's you and then offer to fix it

text

[shineonyou]

thats... pretty emotionally manipulate-y, dude. i dont really want to make people upset, yeah?

[drawitagain]

...That seems like a lot of work for just one book. [Haruka just caught on at the end. Movies are risky for him if he doesn't know anything about them in advance.]

Are you sure you're okay?

[shineonyou]

[ He waves a gloved hand. ]

Yeah, 'm chill. All's chill that ends chill. Just feel like I gotta take a monster nap, and I'll be up and at 'em. I'm thinkin' if I just keep practicing at my powers or whatever, I'll get better at it, y'know?

text

[sunshinethatwarmsherup]

That's a pretty nifty power to have.

[ Though that did beg the question... nah. There's not reason to even ask about it.]

So, can you only fix books, or can you fix anything? And does everything take as much effort from you, or are some things easier?

text

[shineonyou]

things it's worked on:

1) people with swordfish stab wounds,
2) tables,
3) chairs,
4) my desk,
5) no SERIOUSLY MY DESK IS GONE HOW AM I GOING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT MY DESK IS JUST A PILE OF LUMBER FROM MY MOM????,
6) desks are so expensive man i dont have the kinda money to just go out and buy a new one,
7) ive been wearing leather gloves and they haven't reverted to a cow or anything,
8) i havent really been testing it out too much because i still have to go to work most days. today was just an off day, so i tried it out some.
9) everything that's happened so far, whether i purposefully tried or not, really wears me out jeez,
10) im still so upset about that desk; i just had to mention this again.
11) i totally forgot what this list was about sorry.

[text]

[grannyfucker]

Use it to combine all the DVDs of those movies into one massive crossover.

Bam, you've just created the greatest movie of all time. $$$ acquired.

[text]

[shineonyou]

god would never forgive me for such a sin.

text

[featherduster]

[ Eriks would like to remind the network that FORGERY AND ARE PIRACY ARE ILLEGAok no who are we kidding here ]

whoa whoa whoa

... if you can somehow fix my cooking disasters i'll pay you hourly w/weekends off

text

[shineonyou]

its a deal.

[senseandcecilbility]

[Okay, so perhaps he liked that book. Perhaps he even read it more than once, so forgive him for focusing on the reconstitution rather than the movies. He is weird like that.]

Young man, I must warn you that there are a few parts missing.

[Rory and Hunter's third kiss. Unforgivable!]

That said, older people are always looking forward to seeming younger, especially in this city, and they might pay well for an effective treatment even if the results were not immediate...Though I fear you might exhaust yourself before that becomes a sustainable source of income.

[shineonyou]

[ ???

He flips back through the book, noticing the blank pages this time. Also now noticing that some of the words are just wrong or confused-- not like they were originally. ]

Whoops-- dunno how that happened. If I'm heckin' this up on books, I really don't think people are the next step, even if they're old. That's like some Nazi shit, bro.

[audio]

[jasminebloominginshadow]

Sometimes I think some filmmakers turn being bad into an art form.

I really should have paid more attention to all of this before. Thanks.

You can fix broken stuff though? That's pretty convenient. You should be a repairman.

Or you know. A doctor.

[audio]

[shineonyou]

Oh, hey! It's you! [ He waves, but since it's an audio post, she can't see. Whoops. ]

Ahaha, those are legit ideas, but man-- a doctor? You got any idea how much schooling that is? Or how much it costs? Even if I ace the actual doctoring, I'd still have to take tons of tests. Ugh. And repairmen have such shitty hours-- do they even get paid? Man, I dunno. Are you supposed to tip repairmen?

text

[umbrael]

[Doyle would be lying if he said he wasn't nostalgically whispering along with the Space Jam theme during the movie. But that's not the observation he's making here:]

... is it bad if a dinosaur watches godzilla flicks and feels empowered/ /
/// gdi "?

there

[... It's not a stick and dirt, but clearly a stick and a keyboard isn't perfect either.]

audio;

[shineonyou]

Omg, are you a dinosaur? [ 'omg' is pronounced in the most obnoxiously valleygirl way imaginable. ]

[Voice]

[gobybessie]

[ ... Well.

That was something. ]

Only books?

[Voice]

[shineonyou]

Nope! I got books, desks, chairs, and people. People take a lot of work and a longass time, though. When I realized I had this power, it came with a memory, and I think it means I get really good with this power? Also that my life was a walking copyright infringement? I dunno. Maybe.

[dorkytracksuit]

Don't wear yourself out kiid.

[shineonyou]

i'm young. i'm spry. i got this. no need to worry, man.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I think that every time I watch White Chicks, I understand it a little better.

[Audio]

[shineonyou]

It ain't a philosophical manifesto, man. Not that much to understand.