savetheearth | Aftermath

Entry tags:

Aftermath

Who: Lily, and anyone who wants to bug her in person that can.
What: Lily trying to put herself back together - and oh, whoops, it's her sister's 18th birthday, too.
When: May 28th, 2014
Where: Marriott villa
Warnings: Memory of a vicious mauling? Probably.
Notes: If anyone here wants to specifically bug Jasmine (

jasminebloominginshadow) in person here because it is her birthday even if things aren't very... festive, just throw it under her sub-thread here~

All things told, Lily was lucky. It could have been much, much worse. At the very least, much of the last few days were a mushy blur. Pain medication was a wonderful thing, but it sure made you lose hours quickly.

By Wednesday she's back in her hotel room, and feeling much more lucid. But still in pain, and upset for a multitude of reasons.

She'd only gotten hurt because she had acted stupidly. There were so many other ways she could have done that - and she chose the wrong one. Yuri lost because she was faced with overwhelming odds. Lily had already done that before and won, yet here... She lost because she made a mistake. A simple error in judgment, brought on by the fact she actually wasn't that experienced in this sort of thing after all.

Jasmine was upset. She hadn't gotten to see it, but... The knowledge of it, and the aftermath, Lily was sure was enough. On top of that, it's her sister's birthday - her 18th birthday. She hasn't gotten to do a single thing for her, either...

Winter was clearly upset too. She witnessed the entire thing. Lily, knowing her... knows they need to talk. Being able to think with a clear head finally, how she's got to be taking this is what concerns her most of all.

And... Banagher was gone. He was an important confidant and friend, and now... Just. Gone from the Network. His remaining memories of Lily would be few and far between. There was nothing she could really do for that, though... The other two?

Well. Hopefully people are keeping an eye on her and ready to stop her anytime she starts trying to sit up or get out of bed on her own.

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Tea success. Some kind of success is nice. It feels nice. It's the only nice thing about all this, and it's hardly a consolation next to the words coming out of Lily's mouth, the look on her face, shaking hands - Marina clenches her teeth. "...hate to say it, but it was bound to happen to one of us... I think... after how well things have gone."

She does hate to say it too, as defeatist and pessimistic as it sounds. "Getting cocky, getting hurt..." Marina shakes her head. "I'm just glad you're in one piece."

"The bad thing is, there's a part of me that's... glad it's me, if it had to happen," Lily mutters, and sets the cup down for a moment. She clenches her fist to try and stop it from shaking, but it doesn't do much. "That probably sounds stupid, I just... don't want to think about anyone else getting hurt. I almost think I'd be fine if just... I wasn't hurting them so much, too."

She bites her lip. "I need them, too. I really do. More now than any other time in my life. I only... wish I could make all of this better. Somehow."

"Yeah, well don't be glad about it." Useful advice. Really.

"...I mean, even if I think the rest of us might feel the same way..." Marina at least thinks she might, but she's never entirely sure of herself and being selfless. "It's still not good to feel that way, because it just hurts all of us when... when any of us get hurt, you know? So we just have to be here for each other when it does happen."

That sounds right. It feels right, and she reaches out to put a hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Well, I did say it was stupid. Just, given the choice... I don't know if I could bear it if I'd let that-"

Her voice cuts off. 'If I'd let that happen to Winter,' was the full thought, and she finds herself sinking lower into the bed at the thought. Of course. She knows how awful she'd feel if that dog had sunk its teeth into Winter, rather than her. The very thought makes her stomach churn.

She would blame herself. She would be angry at the world. She would have probably tried to destroy that thing just as vehemently.

So... she can very much understand why Winter's acting as she is, and how she's feeling.

"God. I'm an idiot."

"...hearing that from you..." she lets out a very short, very humorless laugh. Marina keeps her hand where it is, looking straight at Lily, not sure what to say for a moment - just being there?

"Shit, I know how much I'd lose it if I was right there and... Jasmine got hurt, or if you got hurt..." Two different degrees, but only by a little.

"But you're in one piece. You'll get better, and we'll all get better... uh, emotionally, so..." She frowns. "So make sure you stop beating yourself up at some point."

That is true. The pain will only last for so long, or at least so she hopes. "I'm in one piece, and I'll get better, yes. I'm... not really worried about that, though."

Not just because of the wonders of modern medicine - there were people out there who could fix this injury given the opportunity, and she'd be as good as new. She knows this for a fact. But...

Emotionally.

That is a different matter.

She gives a sad smile. "I'm not sure I can stop doing that until everyone else does, too..."

"Hey, well, at least... I mean, there are two people whose opinions matter a little more than mine, but we both know how much they care. I dunno, does Winter hold on to things like this for long?" Jasmine... seems capable of it, but Marina's sure it won't be a problem in this case. She still can't say she knows Winter well enough to judge.

"I mean they wouldn't take it bad if they didn't care right? And even geniuses fuck up. Uh... apparently." She winces. Maybe that's too much. "Sssooo I'm pretty bad at this aren't I?"

In spite of herself, Lily laughs a bit. She immediately regrets it, and winces. "Yeah, I guess they do screw up, at that..."

She shakes her head, however. "I'm not worried about them caring. Obviously, if they didn't, they wouldn't be upset, I just... hate being the cause. I head being dead weight, now. I can't offer... anything useful to anyone, it feels like..."

"See?" It's kinda sorta funny a little bit maybe. Also painful.

"But yeah, hey, everyone gets to be dead weight at some point. Like, who ever in the history of ever has pulled their own weight every moment of their life? Not us. Not... uh. Teddy Roosevelt or..." Shaking her head. "Or anyone. So hey, just load some off on me for now if that's the best I can do for you."

Lily opens her mouth, closes it, and then opens it again.

Sorry, Marina, there's just one thing bugging her here - "Someone who got shot in the middle of a speech only to then get back up and continue that speech before seeking medical condition is probably not the best of examples."

Pause.

...

What? She would never forgive herself to not point that out.

"But... I know. I understand what you mean, it's just... really frustrating. Especially after how little we've turned up..."

"Yeah, well, I mean... he needed a lot of hard work to get there though. He was some sickly little wimp as a kid." At least she's learning something in school, right? Marina shrugs.

"But yeah. Yeah, if we'd gotten something done it'd be a lot easier to swallow, but all that's happened is... well..." someone died. "We just ended up putting ourselves in danger, I guess."

Lily reaches up and gently brushes her fingers across her own injured shoulder, cringing in pain. "We're always going to be putting ourselves in danger if we're going to do anything though, right? We were at least able to get some information out there, we helped Dr. Solus, but..." She frowns. "People are dead. I acted like an idiot and got hurt, and now I have to let other people take care of me..."

Something she's really, really not used to.

Her head sinks a little. "The people most important to me are just upset, and on top of that, I've ruined my sister's birthday."

Marina puts her hands in her lap, not wanting to agitate the wound - among other things. Lily is so self-sufficient that this has to doubly hard now that she can't do much for herself. "...they probably won't be the last people that... that happens to."

Umi couldn't save everyone. They can't save everyone. "That's just our reality. Fucker could've waited to show up until tomorrow, though, at least, eh?"

"No, I guess... they probably won't be the last ones, if no one can figure this all out anytime soon..."

She shudders, just a bit. Knowing that Numbered could be targets... It sounds horrible to even think it, but there's a part of her almost thankful they would be taking a break from this. Especially since she's helpless to even try to protect any of her friends now...

She gives a bitter smile then, and nods. "Yeah, I guess he could have..." She pauses. "Marina, just... try and be there for her today. I..." She'd snt say she didn't need people, because she did, but... "I've got someone who's going to be watching me like a hawk already, and Jasmine deserves... something happy."

"Well... uh. In general." Lobstermurderer might not get them, but someone or something else will. Surviving the snake monster was a miracle, and miracles didn't seem to happen back to back to back.

Maybe something easier than life-and-death is a good thing for all of them.

"Yeah, that's my plan already. Not like I'll be able to make everything better but we know she's a moper, and I'm not gonna let her be miserable over this, at least as much as I can."

"Sometimes, someone just being around is all that it can take," she notes. Just knowing that Jasmine and Winter were around while she was stuck in the hospital was enough to keep Lily going, and not fall into a pit of her own despair. The same holds true now. "And... when we get back, maybe I can get you to help me find a way to make it up to her, if you'd be willing to help me there..."

"I'm getting that figured out." Getting there. Learning this whole girlfriends thing. "Anyways, I bet you can figure it out without my help, but I'd still be glad to pitch in."

Jasmine being huffy at Lily does and will continue to feel wrong.

"I could, I'd just... like it if you could help me, I guess I should say," she says, and smiles gently. "If I could get you to help me, and Winter... It would be good for her to have something special done for her by all of her most important people. She... deserves that much, and it'll be easier to have a nice party at home, anyhow..."

Of course, at this point Lily is now trying her best to veer the topic of conversation straight away from her own problems.

"...alright. I wanna help you all out anyways - you, Jas, Winter. Whatever you all need out of me for now." Marina smiles back. "If you need me to help Jasmine feel better, well, that just makes everything a lot easier on me. Kills two birds with one stone."

"Good. Thank you, Marina," she says, and seems to relax just a little bit. Even if she almost knows she might not have to ask for the help in this case, it's gratifying all the same to know its there. "I'm just glad that I- well, that all of us have people to count on here. I know I'm a bit of a downer right now, but if I didn't have the people I do... I don't know what I'd do with myself."

If this had been some seven months ago, basically.

It doesn't take much to get her help nowadays. "Haha, man, without all of us, some of the rest of us would be totally screwed, right?" Marina stands, hands on her hips. "Right? I was an asshole before you guys."

Lily gives her a wry smile. It actually feels good to be able to do that, to not think about the reason she's laid up here for at least a moment, as brief as it may be given she can't really forget the inability to use her right arm.

"Yes, I believe quite a lot of us would be. Maybe all of us," she says, then adds: "But yes, you seem awfully quick to keep pointing that out. I think we should all be thankful we've all managed to change in some way or another."

They can all still smile! Marina's pretty sure that if they all end up frowning 24/7 they'll wither away by the time finals are over. It's a start, at least.

"...ah, I guess I am huh?" Clearing her throat, she turns away. "Just wanna make sure people are keeping an eye out for it, right? And I'll keep an eye out for you or Jasmine acting... less like you've been lately. Happier and all that."

A nod, and she reaches back for her tea. She's stopped shaking well before now, so there's little risk of her spilling it all over herself.

"That's probably needed, really. I trust everyone else a lot more than myself, so... I'll be counting on you, there."

"I won't let you down. I should definitely go talk with her now, though." Soon, anyways - not that she needs to take care of Lily when other people are going to want to soon enough.

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alilyinthemoonslight - 2014-06-08 07:09 (UTC) - Expand

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