Aftermath

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Who: Lily, and anyone who wants to bug her in person that can.
What: Lily trying to put herself back together - and oh, whoops, it's her sister's 18th birthday, too.
When: May 28th, 2014
Where: Marriott villa
Warnings: Memory of a vicious mauling? Probably.
Notes: If anyone here wants to specifically bug Jasmine (jasminebloominginshadow) in person here because it is her birthday even if things aren't very... festive, just throw it under her sub-thread here~

All things told, Lily was lucky. It could have been much, much worse. At the very least, much of the last few days were a mushy blur. Pain medication was a wonderful thing, but it sure made you lose hours quickly.

By Wednesday she's back in her hotel room, and feeling much more lucid. But still in pain, and upset for a multitude of reasons.

She'd only gotten hurt because she had acted stupidly. There were so many other ways she could have done that - and she chose the wrong one. Yuri lost because she was faced with overwhelming odds. Lily had already done that before and won, yet here... She lost because she made a mistake. A simple error in judgment, brought on by the fact she actually wasn't that experienced in this sort of thing after all.

Jasmine was upset. She hadn't gotten to see it, but... The knowledge of it, and the aftermath, Lily was sure was enough. On top of that, it's her sister's birthday - her 18th birthday. She hasn't gotten to do a single thing for her, either...

Winter was clearly upset too. She witnessed the entire thing. Lily, knowing her... knows they need to talk. Being able to think with a clear head finally, how she's got to be taking this is what concerns her most of all.

And... Banagher was gone. He was an important confidant and friend, and now... Just. Gone from the Network. His remaining memories of Lily would be few and far between. There was nothing she could really do for that, though... The other two?

Well. Hopefully people are keeping an eye on her and ready to stop her anytime she starts trying to sit up or get out of bed on her own.

Comments

[jasminebloominginshadow]

Jasmine has been keeping to herself since it happened. Oh, she's gone to see Lily, but even then, she was emotionally distant. Quietly smoldering with rage at the thing that hurt her, the situation that led to her being hurt, the situation that had taken Lily's friend away... and most of all, her own powerlessness.

She was angry about the last one most of all.

And now her sister was out of the hospital. Their father had been terrified, of course. He wanted them all home, and they would be soon enough. It felt like they hadn't accomplished anything.

She hadn't accomplished anything.

And Lily... Lily wasn't the only thing weighing on Jasmine's conscience either.

Jasmine sat alone in a part of their suite, staring out the window. At the moment, she realized... it was her birthday.

Her eighteenth birthday.

"... Some adult I turned out to be," she muttered out loud.

[peacefulwinter]

"I admit, we're... not the best role models right now," a tired voice responds from across the suite. Winter's here, of course; even if this weren't her room, Jasmine is still important to her, and important to Lily. She'd have made a point of being here... well, now that Lily's out of the hospital, at least.

Pushing herself off the wall, she walks closer, wanting to provide whatever small comfort she can right now. She reaches out a hand, but before she can reach Jasmine's shoulder, she stops, and she pulls it back, looking away for a moment. "I can't... I don't know how to say this. But I... don't want you to suffer o-over all this. Today, of all days. It wasn't your fault. It... is probably more my fault than anyone else's."

Because it was. If she'd been faster, if she'd been spacing out less, if she'd given enough of a damn to actually pay attention to the fact that Rikka fought like she'd been used to it and trained a little bit to match- no. She can't think like that, either. Accepting blame is one thing. But she can't just let the hate drive her. She needs to channel it into something constructive.

That's kind of happened today; it's a small thing, but Lily can't exactly set up even a modest party while she's in the hospital. That much, Winter is capable of, with some advice. Even if it kills her, she's going to find a way to make things right. Not just with Lily, but with Jasmine, too. She opens her mouth again, to wish her a happy birthday. But... after what she just said, she can't really do that. She'd be the biggest hypocrite on the planet. So she just... lets it slide shut again, and hopes Jasmine doesn't have too many harsh words after Winter just basically took responsibility for Lily being hurt.

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"... don't blame yourself," was all Jasmine said after several long, likely agonizing moments.

She didn't yet turn to Winter, but continued talking.

"You saved her, Winter. She's alive because you were there. But me... I wasn't even around. The only comfort I've had in these powers, in being like this..."

Her wing spreads as she says that.

"... was that I could use it to protect the people I care about. And I either wasn't anywhere near one of them, or I couldn't stop it before one of them got hurt..."

[peacefulwinter]

Winter can't help but feel like a heel after all this. There's something to be said for saving Lily's life, but... on some level, it's a hollow victory. She'd gotten Jasmine's precious sister hurt.

But... more importantly, something had happened and Jasmine hadn't been there. Again. It's an understandable worry, but then... "You can't be everywhere, Jasmine. I just... happened to be with her at the time. If y-you'd been there, I'm certain you would have been able to protect her. I don't want to borrow trouble, but if... something happens and you're around, you'll have your chance. Wouldn't it be better not to have to fight, anyway? If we could just live in peace?"

It's something she doesn't want to have to talk about. Because in a peaceful world, there's no need for people like them. But also because she's a hypocrite for talking about peace after having to fight to protect someone so important.

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"... Peace? Is there peace when you're attacked by shit made of literal garbage?"

She scowled, her wing twitching and curling almost like a closing fist.

"I don't want peace, Winter. I want to destroy the things that'll hurt all of you. That's all Dark Precure's powers are good for... And if I can't even do that..."

She took a deep breath.

"What good am I?"

[dragon_blossom]

It's a big fat load of bullshit, all of it. For as impotent as Marina's felt about the whole thing, she can't begin to imagine how Jasmine must feel about it, and that makes her nervous about trying to comfort her. That nervousness, of course, makes her feel even worse; that she actually, even if briefly, dodged out of doing what she should obviously be doing because she doesn't know how to do it.

But she should be there, and hope she doesn't say anything stupid enough to make things worse.

Sighing - as she's been doing a lot lately - she stepped quietly into the room, sitting down near Jasmine. "...why do a bunch of kids have to have these powers?"

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"I have no god damn idea."

Marina's presence is enough for her to deflate, to relax somewhat. She looks up at her girlfriend, looking like she wants for all the world to cling to her.

"If it's someone's idea of a joke, I'm not laughing..."

[dragon_blossom]

It's a start - and all she has to do is show up. Good? Marina lowers her own head, looking off to the side. "Have we even done anything since we got here? Anything worth it at all?"

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"We found out the vermini are here," she admitted. "I don't think any of the people who started out here would have even had any idea what one was..."

She crossed her arms.

"Aside from that? A fat load of nothing... no thanks to me..."

[lackinginfaith]

Kari came into the room with another water bottle, setting it down beside Lily.

"Glad to have you back."

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Lily's gaze shifts around a bit, not meeting Kari's in the slightest. She just gives a slight nod, before taking the bottle a couple seconds later with her good arm.

"Ah... thanks." Then after a beat. "...sorry about this."

[lackinginfaith]

"If you had to apologize for losing, everyone would." Kari sat down on the edge of the bed. "What happened that you were hurt that badly?"

[alilyinthemoonslight]

...that's a surprisingly good point, but somehow Lily doesn't feel much better at realizing it, at the moment. She would have shrugged, but that would have hurt too much, so she just goes on.

"Dog. Controlled by Vermini." She makes a face. "It had human legs."

[dragon_blossom]

Marina is, in fact, bringing her a mug of tea, because she hasn't had anything comforting like that in, oh... a bit. Of course she's well aware that it's no good feeling bad about this, personally, when they were using their buddy system and everything; heroes got hurt. Magical girls and magic knights got hurt.

...but if she'd been there, oh, if only. She would have made a mess out of the stupid thing.

Trying and, pretty obviously, failing to put on a natural smile, she sits down near Lily, and sets the tea down. Hopefully the fact that Marina hardly even drinks tea is a hint about who it's for. "...so what do you prefer, small talk, or talking business to keep your mind off things?" She sighs.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Heroes did get hurt. Lily knew the risks. She thought she understood them, at least - after all, people had been hurt before. People had died. She watched a man do just that when the snake struck Locke. It's a lot of danger that they're putting themselves into, because they have power and the responsibility to use it.

Somehow, no matter how many times she tells herself that, she doesn't feel much better about it.

Lily's gaze falls upon the cup of tea and she blinks a bit. It's a bit surprising, and... even though she's very particular about how her tea is prepared, she's grateful for it. So she takes it with her left hand, and nods a bit. She tries to smile as well, but its likewise not entirely... natural.

"Thank you, Marina," she says, before adding: "...not really sure what business there is to talk about, now." She then mutters a bit darkly. "Unless we want to get into me not knowing what the hell I'm doing, as it turns out."

[dragon_blossom]

"Who does?" She wouldn't exactly say her parents had their lives together. Her brother made the best show of it, anyways, but he was older than any of them - even if it was just a few years, it was still a few years. She sighed, hoping... hoping that the tea was fine. That Lily would be fine, that she and Jasmine and Winter and everyone else would be fine.

They had to be. In the long run. "But you're welcome."

[alilyinthemoonslight]

"Certainly not me," she mumbles a bit. She takes a sip of the tea. It's ... not quite how she'd normally like it, but it doesn't matter then. It's the thought that counts, so she manages something of a more genuine smile, though it's brief. "There are so many other things I could have done differently. I... ignored those stupid instincts from Yuri. I was too overconfident."

The cup shakes in her hand, and she grimaces. "I couldn't save her. I couldn't protect her. And now she's upset because I'm hurt, and I... If I'd just done something differently, she wouldn't be hurting right now."

Not that Lily's as concerned about how she herself is hurting. Because she is. Her shoulder especially right now feels like its on fire, but... It seems like the least of her concerns.

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"Hey."

The greeting signals Jasmine's entry into the room, looking quite dour. She's holding her cellphone, and not even bothering to hide her wing.

"I... just talked to dad again. I had to reassure him you're more or less alright. And convince him he didn't have to fly down here. Twice."

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Lily just sort of... shifts her eyes to the window, not looking at her sister. "...thank you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't put that on you, just..."

She places a hand on her injured arm.

"I don't- I can't talk to him right now. Not after all this..."

[jasminebloominginshadow]

"Tch."

Jasmine walks over, setting the phone on the dresser and crossing her arms. "The last thing you need is to deal with this right now, so I'm happy to..."

She sighed. "I can't... really blame him for how he feels, though..."

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Lily closes her eyes. There's a part of her that just wants to scream or shout. Maybe throw some things. Go off and actually do what she was threatening to do once to vent frustrations, and blow some things up as Cure Moonlight.

Sadly, none of these are actually options.

So... instead, she just frowns. It's about all that can be done.

"No, and I don't blame any of you for being worried," she murmurs. "I hate this. I hate feeling so... defenseless. I messed up, and now I'm just... being a burden to everyone."

[peacefulwinter]

Winter's presence has pretty much been a constant over the last several days, but... if Lily was lucid enough to notice, there are some noticeable differences. Perhaps chief among these is the fact that she's been... more than a little distant since Saturday. She won't make eye contact, and she can barely talk to Lily, even at a distance. She won't talk about Saturday at all. And... there's a pretty severe current of depression that's easy to read, even with a less-than-clear mind. She's been randomly bursting into tears, and when she thinks Lily isn't looking, there are plenty of easy signs to see: muttering under her breath, her hands balled into fists, pieces of paper crumpled into tiny balls, light and durable things thrown into walls. She can't get her anger and her pain out, because the people she wants to talk to are either unavailable or are the reason she feels the way she does.

Wednesday is starting much the same way, except that they're back in the hotel room, which is... helping a little, but not much. She's somber, and trying not to show it too clearly, but it's hard. Four days have passed, and it hasn't really gotten better. She'd helped out with the meager set-up for Jasmine today, but as the afternoon rolls on, she's just... sitting in a chair by Lily's bed, staring into space, largely keeping to herself. Her father had already realized that the things Winter needed couldn't come from him, and was elsewhere in the suite. So that leaves the dark-haired keeping a silent and barely-attentive vigil, and... hoping she can find the courage to talk to Lily about things soon.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Over the weekend, it was a bit different. Lily was out of it. The doctors did their thing, she was hooked up to some excellent medicine that helped her not think much about the pain. Or... anything, really. She had just been thankful Winter was around, and any worries she wished to express were difficult to formulate when distracted by the pain, the pain killers, or at times - both. By Wednesday, she is feeling more able to think. To process what's going on.

To notice things about how Winter's acting that she'd hoped was just a result of how Lily ended up viewing the world through a haze of one form or another. It's not, and it begins to worry her. Far more than the physical pain, Winter's distance - in spite of her close proximity - somehow hurts a lot more than her shoulder and arm.

It's late in the day - she thinks, at least, it's sort of hard to tell, time has sort of mushed together at this point - before she really speaks up, though. When she's sure no one else is really close, and they have some level of privacy.

"Winter..." She's laid out in the bed - still, she hasn't gone anywhere else, and she's certain any attempts would be met with resistance - staring at the ceiling, as she had been for a long stretch of time before now. One might have thought she was sleeping peacefully up until that point, were it not for her open eyes.

She rolls her head over, holding out her good arm towards her. "Talk to me. Please."

[peacefulwinter]

She's drawn out of her daydreaming by Lily's soft call, and the arm reaching for her. But... what's she supposed to do? She feels so disconnected, so tense... "What do you want to talk about?" It's a little distant, and it's not like she actually needs to be told what Lily wants to talk about. Lily wants to talk about Saturday. About herself. About their relationship. About any of a number of things, and she doesn't know what to do about it. The unease is clear on her face, and in her tone.

[alilyinthemoonslight]

Lily doesn't move her hand when it's not taken. She'll keep it held out for as long as possible, so long as it eventually is taken. Her eyes shimmer a bit, but she retains the same gentle tone. "How worried I am about you is a start," she murmurs. "Winter... this could have easily happened to any of us, right? I- there were things I could have done to prevent it... I should have gotten you out of there, as soon as I saw you were scared... Anyone should be... I was, too, I was just too... cocky."

She closes her eyes.

"This pain isn't anything. It'd be worth it to keep you safe, and I could have just as easily done it protecting someone else. I would have, just as you would have. I'm just lucky you were there to save me... I'm so lucky to have you, and now I've hurt you... not physically, but your heart, and I'd do anything to fix that..." She stops and sniffles, opening her eyes. "And... more selfishly, all I want right now is you... even if you're here, you feel so far away, and... I really need you Winter. I need you more than anytime I've ever needed you."