savetheearth | Entry #A-7: "Artisan" [Text, Action]

[There is a lot going on right now. Murders in Vegas, police trials staggering to shameful conclusions, and L's own latest case- which he's technically no longer supposed to be investigating, but is- are all very distracting.

It's not like he needs sleep or anything, though; the coffee shop's construction is right on schedule. It just finished, in fact. As promised, he's taking a break from perusing Greek newspapers to make an announcement... and to remind the people who said they'd help a couple weeks ago about their commitment.]

Construction's done on the coffee shop and these are the open temporary positions I need filled immediately. Movers: Basically just move objects from point A to point B. Some of them are heavy. Painters: Solid colors and also a mural. Promoters: Hang out at Urban Outfitters and craft bars to hand out posters and spread the word. These are the permanent positions I'm taking interviews for starting this evening. Experience is a plus, but not necessary unless otherwise noted. Manager: Experience required. Job entails scheduling workers and running the shop. Assistant Managers: Hiring two. Need to be equally comfortable behind the counter and dealing with paperwork. Baristas: Hiring up to 8 for now. Duties include making coffee and food, running the cash register, and keeping the bathroom really clean. Bartenders: Hiring up to three. Must be over 21; we have a full bar that opens at 2:00 each day. Vendors: Sell your handcrafted items and help us support our boarded employees. A fantastic accountant: Lots of experience mandatory A fantastic lawyer: See above. Numbered individuals get priority, obviously. As I mentioned before, if your living situation is complicated, there is an apartment upstairs with six cots, two showers, and lockers for personal belongings. Just mention it during your interview and we can put you up as soon as the cots are upstairs. Respond here or drop by in person. I'll be at the shop all day today, and... honestly for the next week I'll be there almost constantly.

[And, in fact, he will. He's been neglecting his sleep, though, so when you stop by the newly constructed Espresso Yourself, you're likely to find him dozing on the lone sofa in the empty expanse of the shop, practically buried in paperwork.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hi, Torin. I hope you're doing well.

You should come in anyway. If you really want a source of income and a place to stay, I'm sure we can find something for you. The purpose of this is to help, not just make a profit. Between the two of those, I would rather help.

Oh, don't worry, I have a place to stay, but I would very much like income! I would like to pay my own way, as well as possibly to purchase a few frivolities for myself here and there.

That's a reasonable thing to want. When you start making your own money, it means that you can make more of your own decisions.

If we put our heads together I'm sure we can figure out a job for you. People find talking birds endlessly fascinating, so even if you're just there interacting normally I can probably call you an entertainer.

Just talking to people? I think I would like that, as long as people were respectful.

[There's a long pause.]

One can only take so much being called Polly and being offered crackers. Have you ever had a cracker? They're quite tasteless and not at all pleasant.

I know what it's like to be taken for something I'm not, and I know how frustrating it can be. If people weren't respectful for any reason, I would ask them to leave.

Ah, splendid! I do appreciate your understanding. Most people are not certain as to how they should treat me, but all I ask is a little respect.

Respect I can give, but I'm not always the best at showing it. So if you can give me a little patience... I think we'll get along really well.

I can be quite patient if I know you're trying--that's all I ask of anyone.

[And there's a hint of a smile in his voice even though parrots can't really smile.]

So long as no one repeatedly offers me crackers, we should be quite all right.

If that turns out to be a big problem we can have a sign made up asking people to refrain from it.

But that would be assuming coffee shop patrons actually read signs...would they be different from zoo patrons in that regard?

It's different. You're not a captive at the coffee shop; you're there of your own free will and you can leave at any point. And if people don't read signs, I'm not exactly afraid of confrontation; I'll read it for them until they understand.

Ah, excellent. I have seen some most spectacular failures at reading signs, even when they have helpful little pictures that were most appreciated when I was teaching myself how to read.

When did you learn how to read? Was it recent?

I taught myself shortly after I became aware--when I first received my numbers. It's been much easier to improve now that I'm out of the zoo.

Were you completely self-taught? Even humans have some help, usually.

At the point at which I left the zoo, I was! I got much better once I got out and was able to watch educational television! Sesame Street is quality programming.

I wasn't allowed to watch that show. I'll take your word for it.

You weren't allowed to watch it? Why, that is too bad--that Big Bird fellow is an excellent example of how bird and human relations could proceed in a positive light.

No, I had to study. When most kids my age were watching those kinds of shows, I was doing other things.

It's just a big bird? Dinosaurs were big birds, and I've seen movies where their interactions with humans were hardly positive.

The movies have given dinosaurs a poor showing!

[There's the sound of feathers being ruffled.]

They were very magnificent creatures, and I know I fought evil alongside them!

Is that... so?

Do you think you were a dinosaur?

No. I know I was something very different! But I liked them very much.

Something different? How so? A prehistoric bird, maybe?

Well, I was humanoid, for one thing. I know I was much larger than I am now...

[He is very hesitant to say that he thinks he was an alien.]

Humanoid? Is that something you're looking forward to? You'll probably echo it back sooner or later.

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