o5 panic attacks | text

[gunhearted]

theres somebdoy here from my past
and not just anybdoy somebody i was really close to back then
really really close
shesin most of my memories
alost all fo them
but something terrible happened to her in the things i eremember
and its why i have thet attoo on my face
why he hsd it on his anyway
shes really nice and i dont want her to get hurt
if shes sees that tattoo what if she echoes aobut the other stuff

its really selfish to wish i cuold talk to her right
even though she could echo aful stuff back rihgt?
they coudl actually urt her.
really hurt her

idont know what to do

Comments

[charcoalfeather]

Nice...

[Oh. She'd just talked to her, hadn't she.]

Oh... That's, uh--[Horribly ironic] That's not good at all.

Did... you talk to her?

[gunhearted]

I did. I told her about the scars.

S-she... she still wanted to talk but I told her we couldn't.

[And it broke his heart.]

[charcoalfeather]

[It really must have. Rakka could tell this was weighing pretty heavily on him. If she found someone from her past here, and knew they got hurt somehow, would she do the same?

Giving it a moments thought, she walked over to the bed and took a seat near him. She still kept her distance though.]

I'm really sorry. That must be really hard.

[gunhearted]

[He shrugs and tries for another smile.]

So long as she's okay, r-right?

[charcoalfeather]

Yeah, but... it still stinks that you have to do that.

[Still, if this was what he wanted to do...]

What if...

[gunhearted]

So long as she's safe and happy, nothing else matters.

[charcoalfeather]

But...

[She almost didn't want to say it, but the thought was eating away at her mind.]

What if staying away doesn't help? She could... still get hurt...

[gunhearted]

I told her she could call me if something bad happened. I-I warned her, so she didn't accidentally talk to me or anything.

[charcoalfeather]

Did you tell Isaac and Miria too?

[Because clearly this is a thing they should know.]

[gunhearted]

I did.

I think they're upset with me. [He has yet to realize he's being a giant hypocrite.]

[charcoalfeather]

Really?

[Isaac and Miria. Upset. Those words didn't deserve to be in the same sentence.]

That's... weird. What did you say?

[gunhearted]

They knew her, too. Before.

[A sniffle. A choked noise.]

I'm doin' something awful aren't I?

[charcoalfeather]

[Even if she had just come to know Jacuzzi, seeing him like this made her feel horrible.]

...No, you're not...

[Hesitantly, she placed a hand on his shoulder. She wanted to be comoforting, but wasn't sure how much.]

You... just want her to be safe, right?

[gunhearted]

O-of course! But maybe people are right... [That accent he tries (and fails) to keep under control is just not being bothered with today so just... ignore that he speaks with an accent no one's ever heard of).]

M-maybe all 'm doin is pushing her away because I'm scared. [That is not something anyone said actually] Maybe I'm just... taking away people who'll help her...

[charcoalfeather]

[Well, she's not going to say anything about the accent.]

Maybe... you should try and help her a little? Like, help her remember things so she doesn't end up getting hurt by accident.

I could... try to help, in whatever way I can.

[gunhearted]

I don't remember that much! I mean I remember stuff but--

I don't think it's gonna help her at all. I told her about the scars, and nothing happened, but what if that just means she needs to see something to remind her?!

[charcoalfeather]

Hmm...

I don't know. I mean, the echoes don't really work when you want them to, do they?

[gunhearted]

Nothing makes sense, and I don't--I don't want to make something bad happen to her.

[charcoalfeather]

[Positivity wasn't an easy thing to have at the moment, was it?]

It... you wont. Nothing bad will happen.

[Obviously something will, but she refuses to say that.]