First trick: Video

[squicksilver]

[ Alexander Mercure is staring at his phone as if it were an unwanted kitten in his living room, coughing up hairballs made of pure gold. ]

Ah… Haha….

[ An instant later, his lips are parted in a dazzling smile, revealing his whitened teeth, which show even brighter against his made-up face. He’s clad in a top hat, white tie and tails, every inch covered in sequins. From the silver dust on his cheekbones to the gold fringe on his sleeves, he glitters. ]

Goodness, what a surpriiiiise! Why, here I’ve been reading about all of you amazing people, only to find myself one of your number. The “numbers club,” how adorable. That means something a little different here in Las Vegas, haha! Anyway, anyway! I suppose I ought to introduce myself. I’m Alexander Mercure. But my friends call me…

[ DRAMATIC PAUSE ]

Alexander… the Great!

[ A beat, wherein he looks very very serious — and then collapses all over in giggles. ]

Ahahhaha, forgive me. That’s the name of my show. It’s at the Flamingo. Nightly at nine and twice on Sundays. I’ve heard that some of you are coming to visit our fair city, so I’d like to extend an invitation to each and every one of you. Be sure to stop backstage afterwards, I’d loooove to meet all of you wonderful heroes!

[ Everything about this screams setup, from the "superpowered" girl in his show (ordinary parlour tricks), to the numbers in his head (third-rate mentalism), to this bizarre network. It's elaborate, but it's obviously just a marketing ploy, if one wants to be generous; or a confidence scheme, if one doesn't.

Well! If anybody thinks they're going to fool Alexander the Great, they've got another thing coming. Already he's turning the tables on these people — whoever they are — and using their fancy network to pimp his show.

He starts to wave goodbye — but hesitates, putting his (sequined) white-gloved fingers to his lips. ]

Aaaaaah, but I’ve noted that some of you are rather young. No kiddies at the evening shows, sorry about that. Twenty-one and older, if you please. [ wink wink ] Little angels can come to the Sunday matinee.

[ Wiggling his sparkling fingers: ]

Bye byeeeeeeeee!

Comments

[Audio]

[beforeweproceed]

[Muffled "huh". Which is a tentatively-neutral laugh.]

Again I'm reminded we take all kinds.

[Meant most actively in good humor, for what can be detected.]

[Audio]

[squicksilver]

Oh my! My first hero! Goodness, I'm all aflutter~! Er, well, second hero, including Miss Angelina. Ah, third, if I include myself.

Anyway, anyway! Tell me your name, good sir, I'm keen to know!

voice;

[jailbreaks]

Damn shame I can't come all the way over there for your shows.

[All he hears is the 21 and older part... that means there's booze.]

voice;

[squicksilver]

[ Yep, there's booze all right. And "adult" dancers... ]

Oh well! That's too baaad — for both of us, hahaha~! Well, who knows! Maybe I'll get a television special after this, and everybody can watch me at home.

[ HINT marketing folks who are behind this HINT HINT HINT ]

audio

[dragon_blossom]

I might not be twenty-one but no way in hell am I a little angel.

[ Also oh my God you are ridiculous. ]

However, I might show up anyways.

audio

[squicksilver]

My myyyyy! A little spitfire, a little hellion perhaps? Ha! Ha! Ha!

I definitely hope you come to the matinee, my dear.

[ Ugh, the matinee. Getting up before noon on a Sunday and playing to screaming kids and incontinent grannies, whoever thought that was a good idea?

Fuck the matinee, honestly. ]

Video

[imbibing]

Now you make me wish I was in Vegas.

Video

[squicksilver]

[ Dialing back the foppish stage persona... ]

I wish you were, too.

[ ...into full-on creeper. ]

[earnedmystripes]

[what...even...]

I guess it's a good time to be joining the 'club', all told.

[Though honestly he's not sure why more people are getting numbers???? Wise Snake is dead, the corrupt cops are on trial now, the aliens seem to legitimately be coming in peace......it's supposed to be all over, by now.]

[squicksilver]

Why, was there a bad time?

[ One beat... two.... ]

Aaaah, goodness! I'm sorry, how insensitive of me. That awful snake, I read about that. I take it you live in Locke City?

[ As if anybody cares what's happening in New Jersey, seriously. ]

video

[featherduster]

[ "I'm wearing sequins and glitter and you should come 'round the back of my Flamingo but only if you're 21" ok sure, guy, sure ]

If you're trying to score a hookup, my sources tell me this is a pretty rough crowd.

Just a heads up from one totally honest guy to another.

video

[squicksilver]

[ SHOCK AND HORROR

and more SHOCK

and.... christ buddy, he's got one on the hook already don't spoil it. ]

Ahaha. "Rough"?

How so?

[Video]

[chalicejoker]

...you might want to see about switching to decaf.

[Yes, that is a giant bug trolling with his bugman presence because he annoys easily at overenthusiastic sales pitches looking bored with all of this.]

[Video]

[squicksilver]

[ Yeah that sure is a trick that wouldn't fool the demented drooling grandmothers at the matinee.



Anyway, there's a CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK as he seems to drop his phone. Some time later, he responds, wide-eyed and breathless: ]

I say... I say.... are you? I mean — haha! — I mean, that's some sort of costume, right?

Text

[icy_heavens]

[Okay, the first thing Toushirou decides about this guy is that he's an annoying loon. The second is that there's no way he's letting this guy know he's a kid because the annoying looniness would probably get worse if he did. Thank heavens for text and speaking like an old person.]

Overselling yourself a bit, aren't you? [Stage magic is meaningless when you can do the real thing.]

Text

[squicksilver]

[ Everyone's a critic. Still, he's able to Google easily enough the lyric he's looking for, and cut & paste: ]

If you wish in the world to advance
Your merits you're bound to enhance
You must stir it and stump it and blow your own trumpet
Or trust me, you haven't a chance!

[Video]

[nascondo]

[Sorry, you didn't know better, but that "little angels" comment kind of annoyed this kid. He's the babied baby of the Angell family, what he can he say? On that note, he's also obviously not speaking at full volume.]

You seem pretty full of yourself for someone trying to get people who aren't even in Vegas to come to your show.

[Video]

[squicksilver]

[ Christ, more kids.

Alex smiles cloyingly and says: ]

Yes, I suppose you're right. I can't think why anybody would want to leave New Jersey and have a bit of fun.

video

[youngestone]

I am going to just link to this people when I explain that the pink light in Vegas does not surprise me.

video

[squicksilver]

[ Aren't you a hairy little fellow.... ]

Why, I have noooo possible idea what you might mean by that. Haha!

[ And then, a shade more seriously: ]

So what is this "pink light" supposed to represent, exactly?

video;

[chernobolt]

[huff puff ALL THIS GLITTER AND SPARKLES ARE LIKE KARA'S CRACK COCAINE her eyes may be rivaling Alexander's outfit in terms of shine]

Oh! I had no idea that there were historically themed magic shows in this country! How absolutely charming!

[Kara no honey his stage name isn't that kind of reference...he's not going to be making opposing armies disappear anytime soon]

video;

[squicksilver]

Ahaha, well it's not strictly historically-themed.

[ He'd selected the name for his act hoping to be picked up by Caesar's Palace, but to no avail. Can't Celine Dion just retire already, she's got to be eighty or something. ]

But I think you'll enjoy it just the same~!

[action]

[sugarslice]

[ Off to the side, Angeline watches his greeting to the Network with thinly veiled judgement. ]

You should break character already.

[action]

[squicksilver]

[ He gazes sidelong at the little LIMELIGHT-STEALING POLE DANCER. ]

That's a bit much, coming from yooooou, don't you think?

( audio. )

[tuners]

[ There's a bit of giggling in response to the advertisement. Even the network can get spam, apparently, but she finds it all in the best humor. ]

You didn't tell us what kind of show it is! But, judging by that title. Magic show? Dance show?

( audio. )

[squicksilver]

[ .....


SHE'S RIGHT! HE DIDN'T SAY WHAT HE DOES! What an amateur mistake, stupid stupid stupid! ]

I don't have what it takes to be a showgirl, so I make do making magic.

text;

[goldenguitar]

wut

text;

[squicksilver]

^_^

[text from his phone aww yeah]

[kathawrong]

Well I guess that's one way to advertise. Shame you're not at Ceasar's Palace. Seems a little more fitting for Alexander the Great. Or maybe not - he was greek wasn't he?

[ This is a riot. Lyle is pretty sure that if only he'd seen this a few weeks ago, he totally would have taken a couple hours out of his schedule to see the show for the hell of it. Well maybe. He's not that into magic shows. ]

[text]

[squicksilver]

[ Oh yeah, rub it in, why don't you? He desperately craves a headliner slot at Caesar's. ]

I'd love it, but Caesar's doesn't hire anybody under age 60.

[ They insist on hiring geriatric has-beens like Rod Stewart and Jerry Seinfeld and Elton John.

Screw Caesar's ]

video;

[cestlavino]

Well, I can't say you don't know how to make an entrance. You sure don't waste any time in seeking out the spotlight, do you?

Not that I expect any less. Hi, Alex!

[Completely casual. Guess who got here before you, bro?]

Video 1/4

[squicksilver]

[ He has been happily calculating the financial and career advancement possibilities associated with being the sole professional magician who is also a reincarnated hero... ]

Video

[airfoils]

...This is certainly one way to advertise.

Video 1/2

[squicksilver]

[ ....

......


...............

It's the... the concierge... at the Marriot????? ]

Video

[keywarding]

[Holly's got a decidedly curious face- the get up almost looks like a circus ring master to her but she's not sure.] What kind of show are you in?

Video

[squicksilver]

[ That's not a coincidence; Alex would love love love to perform with Cirque de Soleil. It's one of the (many) reasons he is jealous of Criss Angel. ]

I'm an illusionist. It's a magic show.