savetheearth | [ video. ]

[ Obviously there's a struggle to hold the camera still. Two potentially familiar voices are in a scramble. Not that they just ran away from the hospital without formally checking Cat out of it. No one is really prepared to get a screen full of angry hamster face, but here it is regardless, overlaid with voices of sheer panic: ]

Holly! Holly! You don't understand! HE'S GOING TO MURDER ME! Look at his face! ... Can pudgy little cheeks look pissed off like that? Because he does and that's just freaky! You can even tell it's him.

[ Cat rushes into the camera view, blocking out the sight of the very annoyed rodent. He's clearly trying to balance this camera phone in his left hand and it's not the smoothest ride, but for now he'll cart it around with him as Holly and Cat attempt to contain the troublemaker.]

Okay, network. I.. could use some pretty urgent advice here. I just turned Skyler Veracruz into a— that's a hamster right? [ Cat turns away from the camera a moment to get Holly's mumbled confirmation, before turning back. ]

—Yeah, a hamster. Anyone familiar with magic... or .. hamsters. Just send a video or text or I'll meet you somewhere with him —Holly, where'd he go?

[ Another several moments of chaos pass as the camera jostles around before Cat's face pops back into view, Holly's head popping up behind his shoulder, trying to contain hamster Skyler from scrambling. The hamster looks positively dejected now. The look of disapproval is quite strong here, folks. ]

I'm hoping he'll calm down soon... Holly's already tried to change him back, if anyone has any clue how to take care of a .. human hamster... [ Okay, even Cat is starting to chuckle and laugh. After all Skyler has been a constant bully in the hallways for several years. If he'd known who was tagging along with Holly he might have declined the visit. Let's just pass the camera over to Holly for now. ]

Oh um- Skyler stop wiggling so much I don't want to drop you what if they have a cat here?- Yes um- Help would be great! Why does this always happen to me?

[ Cat cuts back in a moment later: "Here, hand him back to me." He'll have to hold the hamster between his cast and good hand meanwhile. Holly takes over the video again while Cat pokes at Skyler's chubby cheeks in the background. ]

Please help!

[ Just before the video cuts off you can hear Cat chuckling, "I think he looks better this way!" ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ...Oh my god children please... ]

Um...I don't know about how to change him back, but I do know how to take care of hamsters. I could even give you a guide.

[ IF, YOU KNOW, A SOLUTION CAN'T BE IMMEDIATELY FOUND

oh god now they have to worry about accidentally being turned into hamsters ]

[.............holy shit this is perfect.]

I think you should just keep him like that.

[Hamster? What? Somebody's a hamster? People are turning into hamsters? jfc Raye does not want to be a hamster.]

Man, fuck everything about this.

[Boop. Black screen.]

[ ...Snorted laughter SHE LIKES SKYLER BUT WOW WHAT. ]

You're being serious, right? Like...you actually turned someone into a hamster? Woooow. How are you even going to explain that one to his family?

[Can't help it.

Killian cracks the fuck up. He's pissed and hurt by Skyler, yeah, and this is just the best thing in the history of ever right now]

[......Yup, Karl is done with this week. Done. So so done.]

You turned Skyler into a hamster.

[Just... give him a sec to process that the pissed off rodent is actually his pissed off student. To be honest, it does kinda look like him.]

How on earth did you turn him into a hamster?

d0 y0u think he realizes he is a hamster
0r d0es he currently think as a hamster d0es
have y0u asked him t0 n0d yes 0r n0 t0 things

[As soon as he hears that the hamster is actually Skyler, Danny starts laughing

and then doesn't stop.

Thank god he's dead (kind of? or something?) because if he weren't, he might die of laughter right here, right now. It takes him like 10 minutes first to stop laughing and then to convince his sister he hasn't lost his mind.]

[okay nope that didn't quite work, he's still laughing. Not much, but enough that he can't respond via video. So he switches to text.]

What did you do?

What a good look for him.

Wow, a lot of messages just came in really quick.

A guide would be really helpful, actually. Should I get him one of those plastic balls to run around in? What if he gets fat?

[ Cat's just sitting at his phone with Skyler in the folds of his hoodie, reading messages. ]

he's pretty cute
he's such a jerk normally.

Well, you did just sort of tell us you turned someone into a hamster.

[ PEOPLE ARE BOUND TO REACT TO THAT... ]

And I can text or email one over straightaway. And actually, if you need hamster care stuff...I can pick that up for you, too. We have some around here somewhere.

[ ...She works at a vet's office okay, and she has discounts in places for animal stuff besides... ]

WAIT— No! CRAP.

[ There is definitely the groaning of a person who has just done something terrible, but is also trying really hard not to laugh. He's just so confused and tired all at once. ]

I have no idea what to say or how to change him back. The only pulses I've gotten don't tell me how to do magic, just that I have it.

You don't have .. any animal experience, do you?

Almost every message is laughter...

[ His voice muffles as he tilts his head to look down at the rodent. ]

Skyler, apparently you're preferable as a hamster.

[ Just give in and laugh, Cat. Everyone else is. ]

Uh, no? I mean, we have a cat, but I don't do much with her. Man, I can't even see what he looks like. It has to be priceless, though.

He's okay, right? Just hamster-fied?

You have no fucking clue, man. No fucking clue.

There was just a moment he walked up and he looked so peeved with his cheeks kind of puffed .. I thought.. 'hamster' and he was gone.

I mean, it could be worse, right?
At least he fits in the apartment.

Oh my god! That's an amazing suggestion. I'll get back to you on that!

[In the background Holly's voice sounds, there is desperation in this voice because my god skyler, what the heck!]

How many people did you piss off?

0k
let me kn0w h0w it g0es

[ ARIA MEGIDO: ACTUALLY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS INC. Someone had to say something moderately useful eventually, okay. ]

[ By this point in the billion replies, Cat's just set the phone down and Skyler on the table, rocking the rodent with his forefinger between replies. Much more docile when he's rocked. ]

Magic, I guess. But I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do to change him back. I'd rather be.. you know.. out of slaughter range for that.

AH~ You prefer him as a hamster, too, huh?

[Oh jeez And people thought belief power was a bad thing.]

At least it's not penises this time.

[That's the only positive to this situation.]

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