savetheearth | Forward dated to the 10th at around 9am, private texts

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Forward dated to the 10th at around 9am, private texts

[[The following text is mass sent to basically every number he has, phone or network.]]

If you're still here, check in.

[[OOC: If anyone has already texted him before he woke up, just stick a time stamp on it in your reply]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's just kinda tragic. Explains so much, eh? [[A soft teasing tone there]]

You know I won't bite your head off for saying 'no' or even a 'fuck off, Bakura' right? Though I think I might faint if you ever said the later! [[a small laugh]]

[He's honestly curious what it supposedly explains!]
-- I like - [Cough. Skewed:] - hanging out - ...Bakura. [Hence that he never openly objected to game sessions for social purposes!] -- I don't mind.

So have to think of something else to pester you with, huh?

Maybe this time you should pick? So it'll actually be something you like.

[[and that he can actually do. Bakura's not exactly sure what stuff he can think of that a zombie with no eyes can enjoy...]]

You don't uhh -- have to. -- Do anything. Honestly...

[He expects he'll be rather boring company, if he wasn't previously.]

You uh, have other people you can. [...Hand out with. And he's not being self-deprecating, only frank.]

You always say this as if I'm the type of person who does shit out of obligation.

[[guilt, maybe, but obligation? phhhht. Yeah. Right]]

Did you want to hang out?

[If guilt applies here, that isn't much better.]

No, thanks.

[Obligation, guilt, neither of the above, after Bakura being the first responder that day at the park and coming to his quote-unquote rescue after two fits of insanity, he's somehow not ready to be seen like this by him.]

[[Only a little. Guilt mostly applies to his grandmother.... Oh, the things she gets him to do with just a small look...]]

If you're sure. Just don't be saying it because you're ashamed to be see, k?

Especially since I've already seen.

Is that, uh... - what it sounds like I'm doing -- ?

[Another unsteady high breaking edge. He's asking for the sake of saying something else.]

That's what it always sounds like you're doing.

[[but there's a faint note of something close to fondness there.]]

Even with everything... you're always more worried about what others will think rather than your own situation.

My own situation isn't that bad, I keep -- saying I can, I can get used to - ...it.

[He withholds any more detailed sentiment along these lines.]

-- I have - to worry about what other people think.

[Quick and fairly articulate, if muffled and pressed-out - he hadn't pre=prepared much breath for that.

Partly regrets that, as he'd rather that part wasn't latched onto, but what's said is said.]

Not as much as you think you do.

You have friends here, you know? People who'll stick with you no matter how bad things get. Or how bad you look.

That -- I have - them - isn't really enough, I keep, er - ...trying to tell you that.

[And he might be wasting time in attempting to restate that again rather than following it, blast it.]

Then what is?

[He's tried explaining this bit as well!] -- Earning it. [Bumbles out the clarification of:] -- Uhh, friendship.

-- A-and you can tell me it doesn't - that I don't have to but it doesn't -- [Adjusts amount of breath with a quick wheezy sigh, out, half-beat, more pulled in.] -- make me feel any better about. -- It. It really doesn't --

[That was the end of that sentence, snapped up with a hitch - it's a very fresh and re-freshed fuss, given where he figuratively stands now.]

That you still think it's something you have to earn... [[trails off with a sigh]]

That's like thinking you have to earn your parents love. That's just something you get. No strings.

-- Doesn't mean it's right to just - [Small "Uhh", dragged into another cough.] - take -- it, you have to be - still have to be grateful.

[No more tripping than strictly inevitable.]

There's a difference between grateful and guilty....

... - Excuse me -- ?

[Quite sheepish.]

You act like you feel guilty that people actually give a shit about you. All this having to "earn" friendship and the like.

[Well then a bit of solidness comes back in, plain earnestness.]

You can keep saying I shouldn't -- it won't work.

[Or it surely would've by now, coming from at least one direction.]

[[a small snort]] That your way of saying "don't try and change me?"

-- No - ! -- I just -

If I could - stop worrying then I would have - by now, everyone -- almost everyone keeps telling me to. It doesn't work -- I don't know why it doesn't but I just -- I want to be sure.

... -- That I'm doing enough, and I -- can't be.

Idiot...

[[But it's not a harsh insult, just the sort that would be accompanied by a light smack upside the head if Anthony were physically there]]

I'm sorry.

[Devoid of surprises.]

[[a soft, near laugh that's punctuated by a small yawh]] I think no matter what else happens... can always tell it's still you because that sort of thing never changes.

Forward dated to the 10th at around 9am, private texts

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[Voice] And you can see how much text is a default that I just...type the font code automatically :D

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[Voice] ALWAYS IS :D

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