04 [Text/Handwritten on a graph paper notebook - Forward dated to noonish, 2/26]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

oh god I never thought I'd use the fact that only numbered people can see or hear the Network like this but I need a distraction

I am basically trapped in the conference room at work for lunch while I wait for an audio conference meeting to start

alone

and someone in the office is listening to a 50 Shades audiobook very loudly

I don't know who it is but I can hear everything clearly through the air vents

H E L P

Comments

text;

[hotshots]

You poor bastard.

Hope the listener isn't making noises too.

Re: text;

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

[alkjfdalkdjfakjdf MENTAL IMAGERY HE DID NOT NEED EVER.]

I hate you for what my mind is doing right now

HATE YOU SO MUCH

text;

[detectivetroll]

What part are they at?

[Text] | I don't nave nearly enough "Mentally Scarred" icons I need to correct this

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

I don't know I just want it to stop

I think Abusive Asswad just told Manipulative Dumbass she was one of his "assets"

how do people find this romantic I can't

Text

[buildyourworld]

Listen to something else with your own earphone.

[ How is this even a problem, jeez. ]

Re: Text

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

1 I don't have them on me and 2 I don't have my phone rn anyway

I never bring them into the conference room

[Guess what habit he's changing ASAP.]

text

[fusionjack]

Is that even appropriate to be listening to at work?

Where do you work, that 50 Shades of Grey is the kind of audiobook that's for sharing with everyone?

Re: text

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

the office doesn't have cubicles - pretty much everyone has an office to themselves

I don't think they realize it can be heard through the vents rn they probably have their door shut

it might not even be audible in the whole office, just wherever is closest

[...OH GOD WHAT EVEN IS HE HEARING RIGHT NOW.]

I swear to god I am officially filing a sexual harassment claim the second I find out who's responsible for this

[hollowleg]

im so very sorry. my deepest condolences

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

I knew ELJ was an ass back when the wankfest surrounding her plans to publish her fanfic got reported to FW

I never realized she was SATAN

[earnedmystripes]

what is that 50 shades thing anyway

[He's heard mentions here and there, but you know, life is busy. One doesn't always remember to google every unknown reference one hears.]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

a very very bad series of erotic novels that used to be Twilight fanfic

you are better off not knowing the details

TRUST ME

[Embrace your ignorance Kotetsu don't let his SAN loss be in vain.]

[Text]

[beforeweproceed]

You want one of us to play something over it? (Sorry in advance -- can't do it myself.)

[Text]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

no need to apologize

I mean yeah that would be amazing but even text distractions help

anything I can focus on to help ignore this dreck

handwritten; old lady style

[pokebonnet]

Oh! I know about that one! My neighbor lady back home was going to lend me her copy when she finished it. She said it was very good. I guess she's probably lent it to Elsie Ramos by now.

[I'm sorry for Granny Curry. I'm so very, very sorry.]

text;

[ursoreckless]

please don't read it. it's not very good. basically the main male character likes to beat and rape women that looks like his mom and his girlfriend thinks that it's the only way he can show love.

video;

[ursoreckless]

I can play some music for you... but it'll mostly be piano or guitar or Japanese.

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

that's fine by me

anything would be better than this

text

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Report him for workplace harassment to your local HR. Because honestly.

text

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

as soon as I figure out who it is that's what I plan to do

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

Ah, the joys of office life.

If you tell me where your office is can find out what room it's coming from~

[Text]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

oh god you are my favorite person rn

[A WILD ADDRESS APPEARS!]

if you can't find anything with name just describe them and their office, I should be able to figure out who it is

[text]

[partyqueen]

WTF WHO LISTENS TO PORN AT WORK HAHA

sry, that's hilarious actually. is that normal?? can I expect this from adulthood?

[text]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

no it's not normal

at least not like this

I think they're unaware of what "NSFW" means

text;

[centurian]

So... do you think maybe it's intentional? Trying to "spice" up the incoming conference meeting? Stranger things have happened, and honestly, it's not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. Honestly, I found it to be kinda like "The Room" in a novel format.

[ But hey, Gerald isn't exactly known for his spectacular taste in media. ]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

I'm going to assume you don't spend much time in the realms of fandom then, badfic like this is a dime a dozen

and most of the badfic is free on the Internet and at least contains decent porn

[He's got friends who run a hilarious badfic sporking comm, don't judge him.]

I'd probably agree about it being the novel equivalent of The Room if I didn't know as much about the origins of this waste of dead trees as I do

[Texted]

[espigeonage]

Have you tried loudly saying 'I can hear you'?

Text

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

If they've got the volume up this loud I'm not sure they'd be able to hear me

over the sound of

whatever bullshit is happening now I can't

text

[sjokolade]

Or you can act out all those 'interesting' parts right back at them?

text

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

you mean torture myself further for what will probably be their enjoyment? no thanks

my luck they'd misunderstand completely and think I like this dreck too

text

[twelfthspark]

Aww you poor thing. Have they got to the tampon scene yet?

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

I hang out on Fandom Wank, I got my mind broken by that scene back when this shit was still a superlong Twilight badfic

still praying I've somehow managed to miss that because I can't imagine a Serious Reading of it will be any less painful

[ex_extraordinary330]

I'm not sure you can get much worse than that.

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

as long as our client doesn't call in while it's still playing? no, it really can't

[cava]

Run while you still can, you poor fool.

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

if only I could

alas

know I went out with every intention to haunt the fuck out of my tormentor

[He is actually not joking, he really is adding this person to a "people to haunt mercilessly after I die" list. It's oddly therapeutic.]

handwritten

[nevergivesup]

What are you even complaining about, man? This sounds like prime blackmail material. Go act like you've gotta go take a piss and find out who's playing it. Quick!

handwritten

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

I CAN'T leave, otherwise I'd be hunting this person down right now

and not for blackmail, there's literally no way that would benefit me