text;

[sayhitobianca]

Even to the casual observer, there's so many fascinating bits and pieces everyone is uncovering. A magical ability here, a memory of a family member there, all mixed in with strange enemies and secret plots and missions to save the world. It's like putting together a novel by collecting puzzle pieces.

Is anyone willing to indulge a man who loves a good story and tell me what you've pieced together about your past life?

[Because he's curious. And also because he doesn't believe the majority of this, but it's at least entertaining.]

On another, more practical but far less engaging matter, it's come to my attention that a number of you are at risk of discovery by our esteemed law enforcement, presumed dead, or otherwise disinclined to call attention to your presence by using your real identity.

If any of you would be interested in procuring a new legal identity, please feel free to contact me at this number, and I can arrange something.

Comments

[text]

[amberhearted]

[ at least someone will be willing to indulge varric, but it certainly won't be alex. he absolutely doesn't want anyone else to possibly recognize his past life. ]

Legal legal or "legal" legal? Ballpark cost range and estimation of regret?

[text]

[sayhitobianca]

As close to legal legal as you can get without having been born with the identity. Cost would be on a case by case basis, of course. Normally there's a set range, but these are far from normal circumstances. I doubt many have the finances for a monetary exchange.

text;

[honestopinion]

You wanna know about Jean?

I'm pretty sure he was the protagonist of his anime or whatever he is. He was in the military and fought giant monster things called titans and they ate people. He has this wicked cool gear called 3D maneuver gear and he could whip around and slice things with box cutters. Plus he was buff and handsome and had a mega cute girlfriend, I'm all super positive about this. Yep.

[Jamie's winning Harvard Thesis, from him to you.]

...and yeah the cops things too I guess.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

[Oh yes, that sounds completely accurate and not at all colored by the narrator's opinion.]

He sounds like quite the winning combination.

[Voice]

[dododo]

Alien doctor slash time traveller. Travelled through time and space in a time machine disguised as a police box from England, with a young man and woman named Jamie and Victoria. Tech-savvy. Wore bow ties? Owned one, anyway.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

Did you "echo" back a bow-tie?

[Clearly that's the most important part. The bow tie must set him apart from all the other alien doctor time travellers.]

( text )

[argents]

I was a mecha pilot. I don't know if I'd call that a good story, exactly.

Is it really that easy to get a fake identity?

( text )

[sayhitobianca]

Almost anything can make a good story, if you know how to spin it.

In this case? Yes, it really is that easy.

[When you're a mob boss, anyway, but he's going to leave that part out.]

[Texted]

[espigeonage]

"Some kind of spy or ninja working to defend/protect humanity after it gets pretty nearly wiped out by a plague" is about as coherent as I can get it and it doesn't explain the angel or the time he tried to save someone from the king of the dead. Probably a better story if I understood it better.

[Texted]

[sayhitobianca]

Some of the best stories come from people who're just making it up as they go. You could always fit the angel and the death king in somewhere now and rearrange it later.

text;

[reapsthewind]

The guy whose memories I'm getting is a giant robot from space who was also probably a general (?) in a five million year long civil war that basically destroyed all her planet's natural resources.

Also I think she was a college professor or researcher or something once.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

War stories are always a hit, but giant robot colleges? That sounds like something that'd be begging for a prequel.

voice;

[ursoreckless]

'Legal', huh?

[he has a feeling he knows what this guy is talking about but isn't going to ask. at least not yet. as for his story, well shou hasn't been discrete about it.]

As far as I can tell? My other's a yakuza ninja prince.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

For all intents and purposes.

[But that next bit is... much less fantastical than the other stuff that Varric's been hearing. A lot closer to the real world, and uncomfortably close to home.]

Do you have much in common with your other self?

[text]

[synonymouswithdookie]

oh shit here i got one

so there was this evil little bug alien that was HELL BENT on either destroying mankind or conquering them, not too sure about which, and he tried to do this by pumping cows full of sewage and trying to crash Mars into Earth

my memories are officially better and worse than everyone else.

also i want a new identity i want my name to be Maximum Fistbump

[text]

[sayhitobianca]

His methods may have been unique, but crashing Mars into Earth certainly would have accomplished the goal of destroying humanity. It seems your other self has a flair for comedic drama.

And apparently he isn't the only one.

[testsonseashells]

Alien geneticist and special operations soldier. Objections to being added to FAQ as resource for false IDs?

[sayhitobianca]

Another alien? Interesting, given what we're supposedly up against. And no, no objections at all.

Text

[moreweaponsthanyou]

I was a dwarf prince. I think.

Text

[sayhitobianca]

[...Varric isn't sure he likes you, random stranger. This is the first time someone else has actually made him have one of those stupid echo things.]

You think?

[handwritten]

[moarnomsplz]

[Unlike his fellow Alex, this one would love it if someone recognized his past life.]

OK the best I can figure is that other-me got stranded on Earth after a battle and started fighting the bad guy aliens with these humans about his age.

Oh right other-me is a good guy alien. The bad guys are these slugs that can mind-control people.

And then I don't know what happened but we they all got taken prisoner and it looked pretty bad. And I don't have any pulses from after that.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

[Unfortunately, Varric recognizes none of that, but it does sound very interesting. It's possibly the most complete story that he's heard so far.]

So you fought bad guy aliens in your previous life, as well as this one?

[text]

[stillshrill]

You want our past-life stories, hm? Is this for a web comic?

Well, let's see. I used to be able to heal people with magic. For this, I was pursued by angry people in metal suits who might better have been cast as the floor show at Medieval Times. Also I liked to wear long dresses and wave sticks at people.

I'm not sure I'd call it a good story, per se.

[text]

[sayhitobianca]

[...Varric is starting to reconsider asking people to tell him things. This is the second time it's made him have an echo, and he's not sure he really likes it.]

It may not be a good one, but it's definitely a familiar one.

private text;

[cava]

[..yeah, fuck it.]

He was an artificial intelligence created by a sentient computer virus. He created robotic monsters and sent in giant machines in order to steal energy and cause general suffering. Cliché, but there you have it, I suppose.

His endgoal was to collect enough stored energy to bring his master back into the world, though I believe his aim changed at some point...

All of this brought him in conflict with a special operations team.

private text;

[sayhitobianca]

[He should probably find that unsettling, but for the moment, he still doesn't believe a lot of this. And it is a pretty good story.]

Clichés are cliché for a reason, after all. Do you have any idea why his aim changed?

[video]

[youngestone]

[Killian holds up a notebook]

I've got a list.

text;

[sayhitobianca]

A man after my own heart. What do you have so far?

text;

[occasus]

Something about dancing with a corpse.

Not sure what it means yet.

What about you?

text;

[sayhitobianca]

Hopefully something different than the obvious.

Me? A crossbow. As far as "echoes" go, it has its uses.

text;

[hollowleg]

now that's a useful skill.

what's it cost

text;

[sayhitobianca]

The price is negotiable, of course, especially taking into allowance the circumstances.