savetheearth | eight sick, disgusting thoughts

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eight sick, disgusting thoughts | text

You know what the most fun part about space depression and a brand new job at the city morgue is? It doesn't leave you a whole lot of free time to hang out with some of your biggest, best, and/or only friends.

For everybody new to the numbers club, I'm Brooke. I'm a mortician, and I guess on the side I try to provide services for the undead in our little community. Mostly vampires, some zombies, you know, that kind of thing. I used to be a girl named Terra, a superhero who could move the earth. So if you're looking to break ground on a new house or something, I'd be your woman for that, too.

For everyone else: Any new developments that we're keeping quiet about? Mostly I just see people complaining about Valentine's Day. Did anybody kill anybody else recently? Imagine I'm saying that with the flattest voice possible. Here, I'll use an emoticon. :|

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You know, not that I'm one of the vampires who need assistance so far, thankfully, but what do you mean when you say you provide it? Just curious, you understand~.

Back when I worked in a smaller place, I saved the blood I drained from decedents and gave it to vampires in need. Totally for free. I make enough money on my own, and why be a jerk about this kind of thing, right?

Ooooh, I see. [He grimaces a little bit because well, that seems pretty gross to him - but then again, he feeds off his boyfriend, and many people would probably call that gross.] That's very sweet of you. I can imagine it must be hard to come by blood if you don't happen to have a willing donor nearby.

I wouldn't know! I've never gone looking. And the blood just gets wasted otherwise, so why not help people out with it? It's a lot harder to smuggle it out now that I work for the city, but I'm managing. Barely.

If you ever do need my help, I'm pretty sure I'm the only Brooke on here.

[He makes a small, soft noise, possibly with a trace of amusement to it.]

That's really very kind of you, but it seems like I can only feed on the blood of one human. Meaning that if I lose that supply, I'm most likely require the kind of favors a mortician more usually supplies, if you see what I mean? [Wow, that wasn't morbid or anything.]

Ah, I see. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I try not to make a habit of working on people I know. It's not as fun as it might seem.

Hopefully it doesn't seem like much fun to begin with, I mean.

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eight sick, disgusting thoughts | text

voice because fuck his spelling;

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