You Reject My Advances and Desperate Pleas [February 14]

[dead_black_eyes]

WHO: Lazarus Lawliet and YOU
WHEN: That loviest of days, February 14, pretty much all day
WHERE: Espresso Yourself
WHAT: Someone higher up on the management ladder saw an ironic valentine and thought it would be awesome if baristas handed out hand-made ones to customers on V-Day. As the shop's resident "writer," L was given some scissors and a magazine and tasked with this. The result... well. Tag this, if you really want to see the result.
WARNINGS: L would rather be detectiving. L's grasps on irony, humor, romance, and valentines are also tenuous at best, especially together. This could get dark.



Since hiring L, Espresso Yourself had been a very accommodating employer. Equal opportunity and largely catering to college-aged hipsters, their customer base and employees consisted predominantly of Millennials, and every stereotype had softly saturated much of the shop's attitude toward the generation. L had enjoyed leaning on crutches in the past, finding ways to pardon himself from the ordeals of living life and interacting with other human beings. He had used and abused diagnoses and disadvantages for this purpose, but Espresso Yourself, as a business, seemed determined not only to accommodate his needs, but to boost his self-esteem by making him feel important and necessary.

A young woman in a higher management position had beckoned him aside the day before, offering him an "important project" to keep such a "talented writer" busy. Following his most recent echoes, L thought he knew what actually comprised an "important project," but it had been awhile since his last echo, and it was beginning to frustrate him. He'd been a child-saver, a detective, and he'd been very good at what he did, and every day another pulse didn't occur was a day he was being denied and held hostage by his own life.

Excitedly, the woman had handed him a stack of magazines, some glue, some construction paper, and a pair of blunted safety scissors, explaining the project. Her over-bright eyes and too-wide smile told L that she knew about him, and had therefore dismissed him on an unforgivable level. The condescension was newly unacceptable to a man who knew that his preincarnation had been great, and he resolved to make the project uniquely his own.

Behind the counter, he has a stack of them next to the cash register. They resemble ransom notes more than valentines, but at least his standard look of utter contempt is dialed back a bit. You might actually feel like you can approach the counter today.

Comments

[dead_black_eyes]

"Ironic valentine," L explained. "I was tasked yesterday with making them, because they thought that was a productive use of my time. I decided to let my creativity run absolutely wild, and I've been handing them out to customers all day."

[shiromadoushi]

"...You're really testing the unfireable thing, huh?" Bakura shook his head, letting the paper fall back to the counter. "Seriously, what idiot put you of all people in charge of anything valentines related..."

[dead_black_eyes]

"Someone really stupid," L said, in apathetic agreement. He seemed every bit as baffled as Bakura about the entire situation.

"I think they won't fire me because they think I'll sue, but I probably couldn't motivate myself to even if I felt like it was unfair."

[shiromadoushi]

"Probably think you're a ward of the state or some shit like that and wouldn't want to deal with some advocate yelling at them?" Bakura added. "Still. Don't test it too far. Not until you've been here long enough to get unemployment, right?"

That was how those things went, wasn't it?

[dead_black_eyes]

"Stop flattering me," L said with a sarcastic roll of his dark eyes. "I don't have any advocates. Unless there are more idiots in this city than I thought... and whether I get unemployment or not, it's not like I'll be out on my ass."

[shiromadoushi]

"Doesn't mean they know that~" Bakura returned with a smirk. "So what, you have a back up plan now?"

[dead_black_eyes]

"It happens that I'm a detective, now. Not a bad one, either."

[shiromadoushi]

"Hoou? Decided to just go over the cops' heads and set up shop direct like?"

[dead_black_eyes]

"Might as well. It's not like I need Sherman to solve cases. And I've already made $1,000 doing it, so... not a terrible start. According to my echoes thus far, I saved kids. I think I was a hero."

[shiromadoushi]

"Shit, really?" Bakura blinked, eyes widening.

That... was actually pretty cool. And despite himself, the teen actually sounded a bit impressed.

[dead_black_eyes]

"Yeah... one in Calgari, one in Mexico. A girl and a boy. They were missing and I remember every detail of both cases. And I found Luke Kokiri in one night," he said. Notably, something like a light was in his eyes, likely for the first time since Bakura had ever met him; L seemed energized and motivated, a stark contrast to the shabby, dead-eyed person he'd been.

[shiromadoushi]

"Heeeeh, so past you actually was a decent guy? I'm surprised!" Bakura grinned.

[dead_black_eyes]

"More than decent. A hero," L stressed. It didn't feel as much like bragging, since it was technically someone else... but he felt just as good as if he was talking about himself.

[shiromadoushi]

"Better to be decent. Heroes can be self centered jerkoffs who just happen to be on the right side of things," Bakura returned with a grin.

[dead_black_eyes]

"That sounds really odd coming from you. I hope you recognize the irony."

[shiromadoushi]

The teen chuckled. "Saying I'm actually on the right side of things too? Rare day, today!"

[dead_black_eyes]

"...more that you're a self-centered jerkoff who is advising against it, but sure. That works too."

[shiromadoushi]

"Like I ever claim to be anything else," Bakura grinned.

[dead_black_eyes]

"To your credit, you don't... but you criticized it just now and said that it's better to be something else. What exactly's stopping you?"

[shiromadoushi]

"Arrogance~" Bakura replied blithely.

[dead_black_eyes]

"You admit that so readily. Don't most arrogant people think everyone else has a problem, but not them?"

[shiromadoushi]

"Are you saying that I don't?" Bakura smiled.

[dead_black_eyes]

"That you don't think that, or that you don't have a problem?"

[shiromadoushi]

"That I don't think that everyone else has a problem. Whether or not I have one doesn't really matter now does it?"

[dead_black_eyes]

"Your problem's been established. So I guess it really doesn't matter..."