savetheearth | 06; text + action, partially closed;

Entry tags:

06; text + action, partially closed;

Who: Stella (

seabeast) and Arthur (

italktofish)
What: The ferret echoed back her tolerance for alcohol. Experimentation needed. DRUNK POST TO FOLLOW.
Where: Over the network, in a bar where people don't ask too many questions, and over the network again.
When: Aaaaall night on the 28th until Lyall comes to pick their sloshed asses up at around 2 am (or later. as late as we can.)
Warnings: Drunk people. Drunk people.

[ private; to arthur ]

ye free tonight

[/ private; to arthur ]

[ Hello. It is around 1 AM. What is going on in this text post. ]

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lookit al thoes funn y lil speks
haha
waht ar they all for i wodner
!!!!!!! oh thse ones be excitment i no thta one
away with ye ill figger it otu

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HEY IF IT DOESN'T I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK ANYWAY HOW'S THAT

WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK YOU UP ANYWAY

of course you would
i think itll work tho

anytime ye like as long as it be today
already told lyall id be out

[ it is now 5 pm. WHAT DOES HE DO? ]

I'LL COME OVER NOW THEN BY THE TIME WE HIT A BAR IT'LL PROBABLY BE SIX OR SOMETHING NEVER TOO EARLY TO GET STARTED ON HAVING A GOOD TIME

[And sure enough, in a little while, there is a knock on the door. Arthur's actually shown up in a cab, because he is responsible and isn't about to set out driving drunk.

The cab driver thinks this guy's insane for going to pick up a ferret, although he's staying quiet because hey, the crazy guy seems like he'll tip well.]

that sounds like what i likes to hear

[ Stella bounds from her pet door at the side of the house, her toy phone strapped onto her back Hey, she has to be able to talk somehow, right? She screeches to a halt at his feet and dooks a couple of times in greeting, standing on her hindquarters and batting the air with her paws. Pick her up? ]

Hello there, Stella!

[He'll pick her up and set her on his shoulder.]

Ready for ADVENTURE?

[The cab driver thinks Arthur's nuts, but hey, he'll at least get them to the bar quickly to get the crazy man out of his vehicle. Dude was talking about his goldfish on the way over.]

[ She settles around his neck comfortably, making a soft, pleased huffing noise. She isquite ready, and Arthur came at a good time. It seems like he's fairly experienced at this sort of thing and she's open to try just about anything. What could possibly go wrong? ]

[ SMASH CUT ]

[ Stella is lying on the bar, tapping the keys on her little toy phone and wearing a shot glass like a hat. The message reads as follows: ]

thout sangreea wassoposed to be sweet
tis soooour

[Arthur is sort of sprawled out on the floor of the bar. His hair's messed up, his shirt's torn, and judging by the smudge of lipstick on his cheek, showing up in a bar with a cute ferret is good for more than just a few free drinks. But he'll pick himself up and sprawl over the bar and a couple of suffering bar stools instead to read that message.]

Do you want something sweet, then? I CAN GET YOU SOMETHING SWEET! Hey, bartender, I think the ferret here wants something sweet! She says the sangria's sour!

[The bartender is contemplating cutting them off, as entertaining as they've been so far.]

[ A wise barkeep would do that. She is going to test his limits to the very edge if she can possibly help it though. ]

dunno mate twsnt bas
bad
cheeky lil blihter got som bite to im
i likes that

but aye anoter
anohtor
more

MORE SANGRIA FOR THE FERRET! Saaaaangria! SanGRIa!

[He's waving his arms around like he's badly trying to hail a cab, and now he's singsong repeating the word "sangria" so many ways it sounds like he's trying to make some sort of music with it.

Yeah, the bartender's cutting him off.]

[ Stella giggles several little ferret giggles at that. It's the closest to roaring belly laughter as she can get. ]

arthr yor a card
id probly kill ye real quik if i had ter
hell mayap id give ye a udel first

Hah! You're OUTRAGEOUS, Stella! If I knew what an UDEL was, I'd appreciate that!

[This all makes perfect sense with as drunk as he is, but really, that bartender probably wants them to stop now. Joke's gone on long enough.]

oodul
whats annudel
a noodle???????

[ The barkeep sighs and leans against the bar with both hands, sighing lightly. ]

No more sangrias for either of you. Or anything, really. Ten minute time out for both of you, yeah?

Edited 2014-02-09 05:21 (UTC)

I don't know! You're the one who brought up udels!

[Now he looks very sad at the bartender.]

Come on, man, TEN WHOLE MINUTES?!

[He really looks like he needs ten hours away from the booze, really, though he'd deny it.]

I'll make it twenty minutes if you misbehave. [ He raises his eyebrows and stretches his mouth in a "Hey, you brought this on yourself" expression as he collects all of the shot glasses and beer glasses off the table. ] Sit.

[ Stella, meanwhile, is brooding over the "udel" dilemma. She did not catch a word the bartender said. ]

woss e sayin then
time out??/

He's saying ten minutes without anything to drink! TWENTY if we misbehave! But we weren't misbehaving at ALL! THIS IS VERY MUCH UNOUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR!

get me
a sword
il
gut
him

[ ... is the big guy talking to the ferret. Well, uh, far be it for the bartender to judge, but it's not exactly reassuring him that he can handle another drink. He putters off to clean his sinks and shut down for the night. uou ]

No, Stella! VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER! We've got to talk to him like reasonable people!

[Check it out, Mr. Bartender, he's trying to be sober and reasonable and stop the pirate ferret from gutting you and everything. Be a pal and give him another drink?]

reesons
dont need a reson
for a good
bral

[ the bartender, for his part, has gone from skeptical at the beginning of the night to graciously accommodating of the brawny man and his unusually intelligent ferret. He doesn't look over at him, but he does smile to himself as he replies to the man. ]

He's right. I'm a very reasonable man, little friend. Which is why I'll let you into my bar tomorrow night if you two can behave yourselves right now. No need to get homicidal. [ He aims a look at Arthur. He does mean it, but you two need to calm down ]

No, Stella, no! Listen to the nice bartender!

[Though he doesn't know if he'll be able to come tomorrow; he's going to have to go to work sometime]

THERE WILL BE NO OUTRAGEOUS FERRET BRAWLING IN THIS FINE ESTABLISHMENT!

can ther be just a lil on ethen
punch him arthur
ounch the barman

[ ... there is absolutely no way this willowy tall thing of a bartender could hold up under a punch. ]

A ferret brawl... Haven't seen one of those yet.

Oh, I haven't seen a ferret brawl yet either, but if there's any ferret who could deliver an OUTRAGEOUS one, it's Stella here!

[He looks back at Stella.]

No, Stella, I can't punch anyone! That wouldn't be OUTRAGEOUS of me!

[ On the one hand, the bartender is strongly suspecting schizophrenia. On the other, he tips well and he does seem to have the upper hand against his inner demons. ]

I'm sure she's a tough creature under that fuzziness. Do you two have a ride?

[ Stella, on the other hand, has different ideas and is shuffling her way towards the bartender. ]

thenn when i com back erre ill giv im souch a lclout is eyesill knock cleen frm is face
it be yu now mor mfe later

A ride? Uhhhh...we got a cab over here...Stella, do we have a ride?

[Whoops, wait, no, no, bad ferret. Arthur will reach out to grab her before she can get to the bartender and do any damage.]

Hold on, there Stella, there's no need to be AGGRESSIVE!

[Because surely that ferret shuffle looked like the advance of a creature who wanted to punch someone else's eyes out.]

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