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[Sometime late after school, Lily is at the library. She's moderately less worried now, without even really thinking about it, about the level of danger out there, making her avoid day to day things she normally would. Almost kind of living shut in, at times. There is a certain confidence knowing how to disarm and flip grown men twice your size all of a sudden grants you.

She's had time to mull over things for a few days, now. In fact, that's sort of why she's there. Somewhere quiet, away from everyone. Just someplace she can think. Pulling out her phone, she types in a few numbers and]

For anyone who was wondering, Jasmine is fine now. Much better, in fact. Things were just a shock, and it sort of took its toll. It did for both of us, to some extent.

However, seeing all of this - seeing what the Precure can do, seeing just how dangerous the Blood Keys are - I know I've been resting on my laurels for too long. Expecting something to come along. I have things to protect, from my family to the friends I've made among you all.

The ability to protect those things is just out of my reach, but it's there. I'm not going to sit around anymore, lamenting my inability to do this. I can't afford that.

If there's ever anything I can do, I will do it. It might not mean a lot now coming from some teenager, but... I'm not satisfied just sitting here twiddling my thumbs anymore. I refuse to stay like that.

[She pauses for a moment, then types in something else, creating a message Private to Winter.]

Winter. I didn't bring this up the other day, because I hadn't spoken with Jasmine yet. But...

You remember, don't you? What I told you about her only remembering the Desert Apostles, our enemies.

I remembered more. This past self of hers, she was apart of them. Realizing this hurt her pretty badly, and while she's better now, she's probably going to have a hard time ahead of her. I'll do whatever I can, and I trust that you won't hold that against her, but... I'd already told you half of this, I figured you deserved the rest.

With that in mind, it's important I speak with you about something. I need to know more about all of this. About the Precure. This past life. Her relationship to this "Dark Precure" that Jasmine is reliving the memories of. I don't care how painful it is. I have to know in order to protect my sister.

When she mentioned that name, and described what she saw, I saw something. From this other girl's perspective, I saw Cerise and another girl defeated at the hands of this woman who looked like my sister. This "Dark Precure." But also I saw... two creatures with those girls.

...I never told you in detail what my first echo was, did I?

It was one of those creatures.

I saw him die.

You mentioned your "plushie" before. I didn't bring this up because I was afraid. I'm still afraid, but that doesn't matter anymore.

Winter.

I need to see him.

[She draws in a breath, closing her eyes. Why does she feel on the verge of tears typing that? As if she didn't already know. It was something she was avoiding for a long time, then.

Finally, she releases it and opens her eyes back. One more thing.

She types in another number, sending one more private message to Cherry.]

Hi, Cerise. It's Lily.

Sorry if this seems sudden, or a weird question, but... Jasmine and I both had things appear to us when we went to the Dead District. They're things we're both trying to work through, and...

I know the memories you've been getting come from the same place as us. I'm more certain of that than ever. Especially given what my sister remembered. And what that caused me to remember.

Because I had a memory where I saw the both of you.

I... guess you could say I'm concerned. I just want to make sure everything is okay with you, and if you saw anything you need to talk about.

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Anytime is fine.

I stayed late at the library, but if you can't come here, it can be some other time. Just... sometime.

And not someplace where there's a lot of people around.

I honestly don't know how I'll react, or what will happen. I wasn't paying enough attention when you came to fight for us, I didn't realize he was even around until Kari told me about it later.

I need to know if seeing him will... Trigger something. A memory, or... anything. Those creatures are tied to my Precure, just as they evidently are your own.

I'm afraid of what's coming, but for once I don't want to be surprised.

[She pauses for a moment before continuing.]

I have no doubt she was strong. She summoned some sort of... dark wand, and had one giant wing... Like something a demon might have...

[That thought almost makes her hand start shaking, but she composes herself.]

But it isn't her. I know that.

It's all the more reason for me to discover more, though.

Edited 2014-01-14 05:55 (UTC)

I'll come there as soon as I can. We can go somewhere else, or find a quiet place in the library... we might still be able to get into the school... anywhere you want to go. If you don't want to do this now, you don't have to, Lily. You just went through something terrifying. Are you sure it's a good idea to purposely look for another shock?

[All the same, she glances at Raquel.] Are you okay with a l-little trip? We've... got someone that needs us. I need you to be out of sight for just a bit, though. [He nods briefly, climbing into her backpack and zipping the pocket shut behind him.]

Winter, I've been avoiding this for months. I've mentioned a couple of times to people I saw something die, just... Not what it was.

I didn't know what it was until a few days ago.

I know I just went through something terrible, but... I can't just be idle in this. This is for Jasmine, and my own ability to protect myself AND her, or you, or Cerise, or Annie, or anyone on this Network who has helped me or needs to be defended and can't do it on their own.

You all protected me. I know one day I'll be able to return the favor, but it'll come faster if I'm proactive.

If you can come, then... please. And thank you. I'll be towards the back of the library, there's not anyone around here.

[And thus, she just sits. And waits. Surprisingly calmly, in fact.]

Protect me? Haa... you're funny, Lily. I don't want to be in a position where I need protecting, because it means I'm not doing my job. But... that's a debate for another day, and I won't object to a teammate, or to helping a friend. If you're sure you're okay with it, then I'm on my way.

[Closing the network on her Kindle and picking up her backpack, Winter makes the short trip to the library, making a point to hide from Banagher or anyone else that might recognize her. Today was not a day she wanted to be noticed. She feels awkward sneaking around what is ordinarily her own domain, but... stealth. Not her forte, but she can manage in a pinch.

And after she squeezes silently between a shelf and an empty stock cart, she sees Lily, and she smiles just a little.] Lily.

Edited 2014-01-14 19:02 (UTC)

[She blinks a bit, glancing over as Winter calls her name. She hadn't actually moved an inch since speaking to her. Mostly this was trying to calm her own nerves. She took a breath, and smiled back.]

Hi, Winter.

...thank you, though I meant what I said. I want to be able to keep the people safe that I need to, and those that have done the same for me.

[She looks down a bit.]

No matter what I have to deal with to get the answers I'll need to do that.

Thank you... for having that resolve. Even if you didn't have anything coming to you, and you didn't intend to be keeping me safe as p-part of that, that means a lot to me.

[She looks around quickly to make sure the coast is clear, then brings her backpack to bear, a noticeably bulging pocket facing Lily.] Um... to business, then?

[She gives a short nod, forcing a slight smile just briefly.] That's what friends are for, right?

[It fades quickly as she notes the bulging pocket.] So... Raquel, I presume?

Right. [She smiles, but then she glances down at her backpack again, nodding.]

Yes, that's... Raquel. Are you ready...?

[Some small part of her is well aware that they're taking a lot of precautions for what should be a girl pulling a plush toy out of her backpack. Unfortunately, they'd left "normal" precautions behind a long time ago, now hadn't they?]

As I'll ever be.

[Her posture kind of betrays that, though. She feels as tense as she looks, and her eyes show a flicker of nervousness.

On the one hand, this could be terrible.

On the other, she was going to feel really stupid if nothing happened.]

[Well, no turning back now. Winter unzips the backpack pocket and removes Raquel, offering him to Lily with outstretched arms and worried expressions on both their faces.]

Lily, I'd like you to meet Raquel, my partner.

[All told, a moment ago in spite of her tenseness or nervousness, she thought she was ready. For just a moment, the first thought that popped into her head was, "Wow, he's adorable."

This is before her echo hits. She's pretty much lost to the world for a few moments, and as the sensation subsides... she suddenly remembers. She remembers this fairy, this partner. She remembers that this was for whatever reason this past life's best friend at some point. Possibly her only one.

Then she remembers her first echo. His life blinking away. His last words...

Which she starts to prove true, as tears visibly well up in her eyes.]

Cologne...

[As she speaks the name, the sense of loss she'd felt from her very first echo only intensifies by a degree she can't even fathom. It's a feeling she hasn't truly had in her life since her mother died, and somehow it all comes upon her within a matter of seconds.

She bites her lip and looks away, reaching up to wipe her eyes, only to find the tears rolling down her cheeks.]

Winter, I- I'm sorry...

[This had been what she was afraid of. Granted, it had to happen sooner or later, but... she knew she would be a wreck for a long, long time if anything happened to Raquel now. For the moment, though, Lily was the bigger concern. Winter moved closer, pulling a chair over and sitting as close to Lily as she thought she could manage, squeezing whichever hand happens to be free. That's how you reassure people, right? Still, this was a severe reaction... wait, no, get her calmed down first. Then ask questions.]

It's o-okay. You don't have to apologize to us.

[She wipes her eyes again, and then readjusts her glasses, trying to calm her breathing. Somehow, she didn't even find herself quite this upset with discovering what Jasmine's past life was... But then, she hadn't witnessed her sister dying, and at the time had to be a shoulder for her to cry on.

This was something entirely different.

She blinks a bit as she notices Winter's hand, and then sighs, squeezing her hand back.]

No, I- I suppose not. Thank you, though...

[She takes another, deep breath, and exhales it.]

His name was Cologne. He was my- [She stops a moment, eyes widening again. She blinks tears away again, and shifts her gaze down.] -her fairy... her partner. Her best friend. But... he died...

[Everything dies, though, right? If she's reliving the memories of someone's life, then... assuredly that made sense?

And yet it was significant enough to be the first thing she ever echoed back. It was something that made her feel like this, like her heart had been ripped out and stomped on.]

[She notices the pause and correction, and frowns a little - how would Lily handle it if she ever did find herself getting Cologne back? If "her" fairy really did become Lily's fairy? Something that was supposed to be dead - something she watched die - in her arms, floating next to her? She'd fall apart... and Winter wouldn't let that happen.]

Oh, Lily...

[But what did you say to that? "It'll be okay" didn't make any sense, they didn't know anything. There was no "bright side" to look on. This was kind of terrible across the board, she was so unable to do anything...]

I wonder... why he died, though. If it was just his t-time, or... if something else happened. I don't imagine that fairies just... die. They're magical creatures. I don't think they handle d-death the same way we do.

[For what it was worth, though, just someone being nearby is enough even if it doesn't show to her. Someone that she actually knew and actually was a friend, in spite of how much it feels now that this "Cologne" was her closest friend at some point.

She shakes her head.]

I don't know. There's no telling, but the way this... "Cure Moonlight" felt when he died was horrible. That's part of why it took me so long to really come on the Network...

[She puts a hand to her heart and sighs. She completely averts her gaze, now.]

And what makes me feel even worse about that is that it almost feels worse than when- [she bites her lip, not wanting to dump her life's history on Winter] -...than when I lost someone when I was a little girl. The difference is I knew that was coming, but this...

[It feels for all intents and purposes like this was a life ripped from Cure Moonlight. The presence of the fairies with Cerise and the other girl in that memory seemed to indicate them playing a part in things there, and... Then there was Dark Precure.

Her expression hardens a bit, and she looks back at Winter, finally.]

I needed to know this. Really, thank you, Winter. [She looks sadly at Winter's little blue partner, too.] And you as well, Raquel. But... I'm not sure if this is something I can tell Jasmine... Not yet.

[Then... uh-oh. Had Moonlight's partner been... murdered? What kind of monster would attack a fairy? Or had Cologne jumped in front of something to protect Moonlight? Either way, this was too much... and now Winter's worried something similar may happen to Raquel, someday. She doesn't know that it happened to Rikka, but that doesn't mean someone with a rifle and a bright idea couldn't shut down her abilities - and her friend - once and for all. That thought was terrifying, and she couldn't stop a brief shiver before she brought herself under control, squeezing Raquel just a little tighter.]

This is insane... it's t-too cruel... and honestly, I can understand. Even if these feelings come from someone else, we see what they saw, as we feel what they f-felt. If he was important to Moonlight, then it must have been horribly traumatizing for her... um. I won't ask about your past, if you would rather I not. [Winter respects people's secrets. Most of the time.]

I wish things h-hadn't had to go like this, but I'm glad I could help a little. [Raquel nods as well, sensing now is probably not the best time.] I agree that Jasmine... shouldn't hear about this yet, though. If Dark Precure is related to what happened to Cologne, and Jasmine remembers that... she's going to be in a bad way for a long time. I don't... want to stress the relationship between the two of you any further. Not now, not when it's already been pushed so much.

[What Winter says makes sense, and Lily realizes that. Which doesn't mean it doesn't still bother her - the memory of someone she didn't know dying suddenly feeling worse than what Lily had been through, as if she really had experienced both? Something about that makes her feel... dirty, but she tries to push it aside for then.

So, she just gives another shake of her head, and continues to hold her relatively weak smile.]

It's not about not wanting to talk about my past, it's something that I've long since been able to talk about, it's just... [She averts her gaze again, sighing a bit. She shifts a bit uncomfortably in her seat.] Talking like this to people isn't something I'm used to, I guess...? I've already sort of asked a lot of you tonight, I don't want to just dump my sob story on you at the same time.

[She pauses a bit, and fidgets some more. She knows what it is, really. She hardly ever came to Jasmine or her father with her own issues, nor had she with any friends prior to the Network. She was normally so busy trying to help or fix everyone else's problems. She hadn't expected to react as she did to seeing Raquel, not to this extent, but either way she'd asked Winter here so she was already feeling like she'd overstepped herself just a bit.] It's not that I couldn't talk to anyone, it's just...

[She blinks a bit, the horrible thought that she'd been trying to keep at bay for the past couple minutes worming its way into her head with what Winter said now sinking in. Could Dark Precure be connected to his death? All of this felt as if there could be connections, and with the way she was getting these memories...

She shudders a bit, involuntarily but visibly, trying and failing to hide it as the chill runs through her.]

It's that you didn't have anyone you wanted to talk to... right? [She thinks she gets it, kind of.] I know we just met a little while ago, but... I h-hope I can be someone you can depend on. I want to be able to listen, if something's on your mind. And I don't mind that you asked me down here. After all... it's w-what I wanted to do in the first place. Being able to help is what drives me, and... [Winter trails off. What else could she say?

That shudder doesn't escape her, though, and she scoots a little closer, shifting Raquel to her lap and reaching over with her other hand as well.] Lily? Are you okay? I know t-tonight has been hard...

[Lily blinks a few times in surprise as Winter's other hand. But that's only momentary. She does gaze at the other young woman for a good few more seconds, but then gratefully takes the other hand and squeezes it.]

...it has been, yes. But... it's necessary... And even if we only have known each other for a couple months, I do feel like I can trust you, Winter...

[She smiles a bit, though its still tinged with some sadness.]

You're a good person. I'm glad you're willing to put up with me, honestly. [Her eyes shift away just a bit, but her expression holds.] ...it was... my mother, also. We lost her when I was eight. But she had been sick for a long time, while this... Knowing what took Cologne will be important to understanding this, if it makes me feel like this.

[She gives a sigh.] I'm sorry, I might be a little more trouble for you in the future, in that case.

[My, those are exactly the words she likes to hear. Her existence is validated...! Oh, wait, she said something else...]

I don't mind. I live... for other people. It would be r-remiss of me to do anything else. And I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but... you and Jasmine seem well-adjusted, despite that. Not that it h-hasn't been a while... You're right that we need to understand what happened to Cologne first, though. He was... important, to Cure Moonlight. To past-you.

[She smiles across again.] Please... be free to cause as much trouble as you need. I said I'd be here for you, Lily. I w-want to keep that promise.

It's really scary, honestly. To try and think about wanting to discover those things... I just- I feel like it's necessary. Not just for my sister, but... I think if I'm to inherit the same things Cure Moonlight did, I have a bit of responsibility to know where it comes from.

[She averts her eyes a bit, her cheeks coloring slightly.] But I appreciate that. That there's anyone even willing to say that means a lot.

[Possibly a lot more than Lily's letting on - she doesn't ask people for help. Not normally. Having to do so to save Jasmine showed how truly desperate and, really, kind of helpless she was in that situation. Winter's "living for other people" comment rings very true in her head, as it was all she ever did herself.

For Lily, though, this had long since meant sitting on her own problems and trying to logic them out on her own. Not exactly the healthiest mindset maybe, but it was how she had gotten used to things being.

But she feels now as if she can trust Winter there. That... is a very different sort of feeling for her, and one she's not sure how to fully process in that moment.

Instinct to avert her own momentary embarrassment then kicking in, she gives a small laugh.]

Just don't be afraid to kick me if I am too much trouble. [Her eyes turn back to meet the other girl's.] But... if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask, too. I owe you a lot already at this point.

It's a heavy burden. We... our past selves all gained this p-power one way or another. But we are not them. We are ourselves... but the power is still ours. Maybe we're not ready. Maybe there's something we're missing. Maybe there was s-something special about them, that we don't have. But there's nothing else we can do about it. So... we need to know what they did. What they've been through. Because it c-could mean the difference between winning and losing. Between life and death. I take this seriously, because Rikka took this seriously. Because it is my responsibility to put everything I have into this, so I can live with no regrets.

That is w-why I'm happy to do the things I do. Even if I'm not on the student council anymore... I still have that drive, and it's important to me that I keep going until the day I'm not needed anymore. I do this so other people d-don't have to. So everyone... can live in peace.

[Sheesh, she's letting her mouth run a lot tonight... well, nothing for that. Winter sighs as Lily looks to her, and she smiles a little.]

If I need something, you'll be the f-first to know. But I don't think you'll be as much trouble as you think. I've got a lot of faith in you, Lily. You've had a hard set of things to deal with, but you've done pretty well in keeping your head. I've been very impressed, really.

We are ourselves... [She repeats it, tossing the phrase around in her head. It's very familiar, given her talks with Jasmine of late at that point.] Yes, you're right about that. It just feels like I have to keep reminding myself of that, finding ways to remind myself of that. I don't think I really understood that when you were talking about that story you remembered. Even looking back to such a little while ago, it feels like I was sort of naive...

But, no regrets would be nice. I think... if I even tried to back out now, I would do nothing but regret it. I guess you could say we're all too far into this now to do anything else. And... always having focused so much of taking care of the family around me, I guess... This really works on a bigger scale, doesn't it?

[She gives a comfortable sort of laugh, at this point not even really noticing she hadn't even removed her hands from Winter's at that point.] But it's good to know there are people who'll watch out for me at the same time. I may not be used to that, but... I suppose I could get there.

[She blinks at thinking on the last thing Winter said, however, and gazes just slightly elsewhere again.] I wouldn't say there's... really a whole lot about what I've done that's impressive. It's just... well, I'm the big sister, right? It's my responsibility. [The color creeps back into her cheeks.] B- but, I... I appreciate the faith.

[Her vision doesn't drift for long this time, and she snaps back to Winter, though her evident embarrassment remains.] With everything I've seen at this point, I have the same in you. [Blink. Wait. What was that, Lily?] Ah, all of you, of course. [Whew.]

I've been there, too. It's hard not to, with... everything that's happened. But, whether you l-like it or not... you're going to grow up a little bit, with everything that happens to us. It takes a strong person to deal with everything that comes our way. I admit... I didn't have the strength for it, before. But everyone... everyone helped me see. From the big things, t-to the little ones. I need to tell Jasmine, too - in a very real way, she saved me, two weeks ago. She won't believe me, but... it's still true.

So I put everything I have into what I can do, because that's how I pay back the people that have h-helped me for everything they've given me. I think you'll be the same way. We can't stop now. Not without feeling like we've let everyone down.

And I will protect everyone I can reach, that doesn't turn me away. That is nothing less than my duty. [She smiles at Lily, and it's warmer than she's managed in the last few minutes. Winter, stop, you're overdoing the cute here.] But... there are s-some people that I will make a special effort for. So I hope you get used to it soon, because it's too late to shoo me away.

[She giggles faintly.] Don't say that, Lily. You... you've done better than any of us could have hoped for. You've managed to keep Jasmine in one piece while you had to w-worry about yourself, and you're doing well at taking all this in stride. It was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, for a while. You're plenty impressive. And I appreciate your trust. [She notices her face burning a little, but... that's what happens when you get a little bit too far into friendship speeches. That's definitely what it was. Probably.]

[Jasmine saved her? It quickly clicks to mind she's talking about the birthday party, and given everything that had happened before then... That made some sense, but she hadn't realized even then it had been quite on that level. Her expression softens considerably more at that realization.] I was very proud of Jasmine then... I still am. It was the first time I'd seen her really reach out to help someone like that, to try and be friends. You have quite the effect on people, Winter. I know reaching out to her has meant a lot to her, and... Even with everything that's happened here, it's such a relief to know it's not just other people I can rely on, but other people she can reach towards.

I really do want to pay that back, as well... I want to live up to that same example you've been setting. Because-- [She stops abruptly, the comment about people Winter would make special effort for sinking in. Her eyelashes flutter rapidly, and the faint blush from before burns up to a point where its noticeable. She finally becomes acutely aware of the fact she is still holding onto Winter's hands, and... well, let's just say she has a moment, and her brain grinds to a screeching halt. The thought she had been processing before is lost in the sudden trainwreck that is her mind, and she just starts talking to try and not look completely stupid.] N- no, of course not, I'd nev- I wouldn't shoo you away. You're my friend, right? I may not be used to it, ah, now, but... I think I can get there...

[The last series of compliments doesn't help the sudden rush of things in her head, and probably not the look on her face. When it comes right down to it, there are some things Lily Tsukuyomi is very bad at concealing once they hit her.] Th- thank you. Again. I've probably been saying that a lot, but... you deserve it... Like I said, I was just doing what I thought I needed to... If you really had that much trouble before, then... I think where you are now is much more impressive.

[For someone so smart, she sure does feel like she's babbling like an idiot all of a sudden. Her eyes seek out Raquel then, as if searching for a second opinion on whether or not she looks as dumb as she feels.]

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