savetheearth | text/audio;

[ The post opens with a handy little form letter custom-designed by Octavia for people to fill out. Enjoy. ]

Dear Tavia / Alan / Tavia and Alan / President O8ama,

I, (YOUR NAME HERE), am pissed at / super pissed at / really super pissed at / shockingly attracted to you right now. What were you thinking / are you wearing, cutie(s). What you did was irresponsible / reckless / dangerous / actually pretty cool / worse than str8-up murdering a flock of 8a8ies and I can't 8elieve you would 8e so stupid / you didn't invite me / you are not dead / it's not 8utter. Wow, am I ever 8uttmad / asschafed / cheekstung / rearniggled right now. Damn.

To conclude, you are dum8 / 8rave / lucky to 8e alive / actually already punished enough for this / going to get punched in the face / a 8itch / in possession of a really gr8 8utt.

We are / are not friends any more. I hope you die / don't die,

love / no love from YOUR NAME HERE.

[ That done with, she switches to audio. ]

Just thought I'd cut down on the lecture time for everybody. Because while I am sure all of you are oh-so-fucking ready to sate your massive told-you-so boners, I actually have stuff to say! Like "thanks for being super cool badasses and saving us, rescue teams." And "wow those photos being shown on the news are unflattering as fuck." And "please remember we just spent days in solitary confinement thinking we were going to have our brains scooped out." Which means yes! Alan and I are entirely aware of how quote-dumb-unquote my plan was and all the implications of it and blah blah blah don't waste your fucking time fussing at us.

I also want to point out that like. Somebody would have got caught at some point anyway, right? Like this whole deal was only ever going to last so long. And if it had to be somebody it was good that the captives were us! People who didn't fucking talk even a little, no matter what they threatened us with. People who were brave and cool at all times! People who could contact the outside without writing a number in blood or snot or whatever and blowing this whole shitfest operation. You are welcome.

[ There's a half-uttered syllable, then a soft mmgh as she apparently rethinks what she was going to say. Then, in a falsely lighthearted tone: ]

And, uh. Since like. My face is out there anyway I don't really have shit to lose as far as that is concerned! So what if we had me record a message saying that we ain't terrorists. Maybe explain our deal a little or something? And then put it on Youtube or send it to the press or whatever. Like, if there is a way to do that safely and securely and not get caught. And if people think that's a good idea and not me being fucktarded, haha! And stuff.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

....H-how long were you guys in there until we got to you?

And uh...who else do you know got bondagey echoes?

Like. Three days? They left the lights on all the time and people didn't talk to us so it was kiiiiiiiind of hard to tell at the time. I'd have jacked Karson earlier but I didn't know if Alan was going to break us out with his powers or whatever! So yeah.

And uh. People. A lady never reveals such sensitive secrets! Unless it would be really funny.

Jeez--three days?! Weren't your parents worried?

...Bondagey echoes wouldn't be funny? [THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU'D FIND HILARIOUS, OCTAVIA.]

What? No! [ Seriously Tavia? This is Baradad you're talking to! ]

No, I had an echo, that's all.

[ That's all, huh... ]

Mmmnh.

[ While Octavia can come across as really fucking stupid thanks to her self-absorbed nature, she can be pretty perceptive when she actually does think about things that aren't herself! And she is having one of those rare moments right now.

Baradad had an echo.

Baradad is in Alan's soulbond group.

Alan's echoes are really fucking terrible as a general rule.

Octavia was just talking about killing people. ]

Are, uh. You okay and shit? Because I know how grody you guys' echoes can get! So. Uh.

Ha ha. Pretty sure you are drastically overestimating my mom's interest in me and my wellbeing, dude! I doubt Alan's mom is doing so great though. Haha. Ha.

And they are only funny if they happen to other people, shut your fucking face. [ OOPS ]

Haha, nono, don't worry about it. [ That's the most forced laugh in the history of ever, Baradad. ]

I'm fine. It wasn't anything violent.

Alright, alright, you can keep your bondagey echoes under wraps.

[i'm so sorry]

Like I need permission to keep them under locks. And just eff-why-eye, don't bother trying to ask Alan about them either. He is way too whipped to give in! You know. Just in case you were considering roping him into this at all.

[ I'm not ]

If you say so! You ain't sounding all that okay. You should. Probably talk to your boyfriend about it if you feel weird discussing it with me? That works for Alan!

Unless you really are fine in which case wow am I ever reading the signals wrong here. My bad.

No, I... [ There's a bit of a laugh. Getting advice from kids, eh Ryan? ]

You're right. I'll talk to him.

Thanks, Octavia.

You are amazingly super welcome! And just so you know, making out usually fixes what talking doesn't.

whaaaaaat
do you see differently now?? like with 8-dimensional depth perception or something?

didn't you say upthread that you got captured because there were too many for you to mind control? that's a pretty simple counter right there...

No no no no. NO. We are not playing this game.

[ Aw, good job Tavia, you made Ryan laugh! ]

Heh, I'll keep that in mind.

Wait. You were on Days?

[Is that really important right now, Michelle?]

I don't recognize you.

Consider me blindfolded to all of your weird echoes.

Uh-oh! Somebody sounds cranky! Do I have to put you into a time out?

You don't?

[ Look at this pause, holy shit. Might it be the most awkward, prickly pause in the history of everything, ever? Oh I think so. ]

My arm and the back of my hair were visible for the entire scene when Sally learns that David's evil twin brother woke up from his coma, brosis. Like, about eight months ago? The arc right before the whole triple amnesia plot twist.

Lol, nope. I didn't even got to change my glasses prescription! Which is some weird-ass impossi8le shit so I am going to 8lame fairy magic again. Afaik it is responsi8le for literally everything that ever happens to me ever.

And SHUT UP I AM PR8CTICING CONTR8LLING MULTIPLE PEOPLE 8K. Past me could do it! SO one day I will 8e a8le to do it too. Even if I have to teach myself 8it 8y 8it instead of pulsing it 8ack!!!!!!!!

Will do. It was bound to end up this way, Danny! How could it knot.

That was "knot" with a "k". Because. Bondage puns.

I just killed it, didn't I.

Nah, you just choked a little bit.

Ohohoho. You just try and put me in a time out. You. Just. Try.

Sorry, still don't remember you.

[she remembers that arc though. god it was so terrible but she couldn't quit watching]

That's why we need to make several plans and then we can probably spread the word.

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i should be sorry for this

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NEVER BE SORRY FOR ANYTHING

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