[video]

[wirsinddiejager]

[When the video feed opens, the first thing to note about Alan's appearance is that he is covered in glitter. The second is that he's dressed to clean. The third is that he looks very, very worried.]

Does anyone here know how to get fairy dust off things? Octavia was practicing her flying and...

[He moves aside to show that the glitter is not just on him, the room he's in is also full of it. As he does, he turns his back on the camera, revealing a sparkly handprint on his butt.]

I need to get rid of this before my mom comes back, but it's taking forever. This stuff really sticks to everything. And I never realised how much dust there is everywhere, I'm never gonna get the place clean enough...

Comments

text;

[grannyfucker]

What, you're going to make me suffer by not sleeping at me? What are you, a fucking newborn dolphin?

Sorry man, I can't say that's the scariest threat anyone's ever given me before. Try harder next time!

text;

[enrages]

you completely misunderstood my threat, which tells me a lot about you as a person.
i now know you're not much of a challenge to my inherent brilliance.


WHAT I WAS *TRYIINGGG* TO SAY was that since i don't sleep, i have a ridiculous sum of time and creative torturing energies at my disposal.
you don't stand a fucking chance.

text;

[grannyfucker]

And you completely misunderstood my sarcasm, which tells me that you really are a newborn dolphin!

You'll have to find me first before you can actually use any of those torturing energies. Good luck finding a way to flop onto land, finned kiddo!*


*censored to protect your virgin child gills