Kaworu Nagisa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shouldertheburden) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2013-11-05 10:05 am
shouldertheburden) wrote in savetheearth2013-11-05 10:05 am
Entry tags:
- !open,
- #network,
- attack on titan: connie springer,
- attack on titan: eren yeager,
- attack on titan: jean kirschtein,
- attack on titan: levi,
- attack on titan: ymir,
- avatar: the last airbender: toph beifong,
- code geass: suzaku kururugi,
- evangelion: asuka langley soryu,
- evangelion: kaworu nagisa,
- evangelion: rei ayanami,
- evangelion: shinji ikari,
- gundam unicorn: mineva lao zabi,
- homestuck: karkat vantas,
- yu-gi-oh!: bakura ryou
04 » video (webcam)
So I found this in my room this morning... [Kaworu, whose left arm is in a cast, holds up a choker with his good hand. It's black, metal, and has a red section in the front and center.] It's not the first time I've gained an item in such a manner, but I wasn't there for the event on Halloween night everyone else seems to be getting something from. So, I'm a little confused about what I got this for, but also because...
[He frowns and twirls the collar around on his index finger.] What is this? It looks like a collar, but it won't open so I can't put it on, and I don't know what it could possibly be for. Has anyone seen a collar like this before? I don't really know what to do with it.
[He frowns and twirls the collar around on his index finger.] What is this? It looks like a collar, but it won't open so I can't put it on, and I don't know what it could possibly be for. Has anyone seen a collar like this before? I don't really know what to do with it.
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[w...hat...but Kaworu is the one that's so invested in this...]
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But what scares me the most of that I've always believed in destiny as a linear path that I need to follow, but...I don't know if I want to face that idea if my destiny would ever be to not be with you. I want to act on what I feel now, in this life, and I love you.
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[He miiiight be starting to tear up a little. God, he's so pathetic--or, that's what he's telling himself.]
Isn't this what you've wanted your entire life, though? To know what path you're supposed to follow...you've always said stuff like that. Throwing that away for someone like me...can't be worth it.
[Of course, he knows it's selfish, but he'd love for Kaworu to reassure him that he's far more important than everything he's lived for up until that point. And his own desires are making him sick because he also doesn't feel like he deserves to hear the things he wants to hear, he never deserved the time and affection Kaworu has given him at all in the first place.
And didn't Kaworu only like him because he believed it was their fate to be together in the first place?]
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[Kaworu you've been dating this boy for like two months and you're sixteen years old. If you didn't happen to be, well, Kaworu Nagisa reincarnated, this would be completely, utterly ridiculous.]
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[I am not writing long introspection on a phone. Please listen to an entire Linkin Park CD as a substitute.]
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And even if you don't love yourself, I love you. You telling me I shouldn't have to won't change that.
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[And all he thought he had on his side for being the one Kaworu chose was Kaworu thinking they were destined to be together. Which wasn't going to be the case anymore.]
Do you really think I'm worth that much?
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[Why him?
But rather than finishing that thought, he pauses. There is definitely some sniffling and tears rolling down his face.]
I'm sorry.
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[Kaworu is feeling even more guilty now. He made Shinji cry again. NICE GOING COWPANTS.]
...Do you want me to come over?
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[How transparent of him.]
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I'll be right over.
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See you soon, then.