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[peacefulwinter]

I messed up. I said something carelessly, and I'm really wishing I hadn't now. I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything. I'm too scared to try and even apologize, and I feel like a horrible person.

I think I'm finally starting to realize that this isn't some story come to life, where everything can be fixed and our lives are just a little weird sometimes. This is reality. No matter how much I want to help, or fix things, or make things right, I can't always do that. And that's something I've been taking for granted. It really hurts, having to think "is there anything I can do about this?" before I do something.

I... wonder if not-me ever thought about this. If she ever wondered if "being a hero" was really worth it, or if she could actually help anyone, powers or not.

Comments

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[icy_heavens]

You're not a horrible person; don't be stupid. [He . . . might not be the best at this words of encouragement thing.]

( text )

[argents]

Hey, what happened? That doesn't sound like you.

[Text | Handwritten]

[scramasax]

[He has no context for this - although this is one enormous sentiment that warrants sympathy he must first clarify how much and/or in what way he should be worried.]

You and the person(s) you said it to are not under threat of anything... Are you?

[lackinginfaith]

What happened?

[Not here]

[shiromadoushi]

[[But he sees this. And he's pretty sure it's about him. But he's still in a shitty mood and not going to reply. He's done enough damage already, he's sure...]]

[peacefulwinter]

I... you say that, but I'm not so sure. I've been talking about all this like everything's all sunshine and rainbows, and it isn't. Life is harsh, and it's a disservice to argue otherwise, isn't it?

[peacefulwinter]

It's a long story. I tried to help someone, and... things got out of hand, and I said something I'm afraid I don't think I can ever take back. I've been... thinking about things, since then.

[peacefulwinter]

I'm okay. The person I was talking to... is probably also okay, for the most part; it's not anything dangerous, I don't think, and it's not something we could stop even if we wanted to.

[peacefulwinter]

I tried to convince someone to work a problem out, and it was taken... poorly. When I got caught up in things, I said something harsh, and that person walked away. I... don't think I can fix it.

[icy_heavens]

That makes you naive, not terrible. [This is totally better somehow, okay?] And I told you to quit being stupid.

[peacefulwinter]

I'm sorry... um. I know I'm naive. But I... there's nothing I can do about it, except to keep trying, and to see what works, right? And that's... hurting people. That's the opposite of what I want.

[scramasax]

Thank goodness... [Re-frames the message, looks and turns it over again.] In that case, I do not see how you would feel like a horrible person for having tried. Excuse me, please... I do not mean it without sympathy.

[Perhaps not fullest of empathy, with, again, this barest context - of course feeling ineffectual must be something nearly anyone could understand, or sorry for any one move, or like a weak person, but not a horrible one.]

[peacefulwinter]

I just... it feels like I only made things worse. Make things worse. I don't want to hurt people. That's not why I joined the student council. And it's not why I'm putting up with these numbers in my head.

[argents]

Come on, you have to know better than that. Trying doesn't make you a horrible person, even if it blows up in your face. Most people don't even get that far when it comes to someone other than themselves.

Cheer up.

[lackinginfaith]

Sometimes you can't. But sometimes they'll realize what they're doing.

audio

[ex_elude798]

[This guy? This guy is not great at these things.

Still, it seems like a damn silly worry when their lives could be on the line. So he'll try anyhow]

What's worse: making a mistake, or making a mistake and not doing something about it?

[icy_heavens]

If you don't try, how do you know whether it'll work or not?

[peacefulwinter]

But...

[There's a long pause while she thinks about it.]

I... know you're probably right. But it's still... I don't know what to do.

[icy_heavens]

What even happened, anyway?

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[soulsborderline]

[...]

You've already got the hug circle going so I'm just going to chime in and say that's a good realization to come to before you do something stupid.

And even if you just did something stupid I'm sure it's not THAT bad.

[peacefulwinter]

Did you hear about the incident with Bakura?

[icy_heavens]

[Yeah, he doesn't like the sound of this.] What incident?

[peacefulwinter]

But this is all I'm good for, Banagher! If I can't even do this... what can I do?

[locked]

[peacefulwinter]

They threw him out. I don't know what happened, but he hit someone and stormed out of class. I tried to asks him what happened, but... he ignored me, and told me the only way I could help was to leave him alone. I... kind of told him to go to hell. I haven't talked to him since.

[peacefulwinter]

Maybe. But I don't know what to do. I feel like I failed, and this is all I can do.