savetheearth | 02: laptop webcam video thinger

[Welcome to Ray's boring living room, folks, complete with cigarette smoke clouding up the picture. Totally classy, I know. There's not much going on other than a cat licking it's butt on the couch. Also classy. Ray isn't sorry.

After a couple seconds Ray flops into view, ungracefully plunking his ass down on the couch after shooing the cat away. Get out of here cat. The camera's angle is adjusted and now it is business time.]

So, I'm pretty sure I had another one of those brain thingies the other day. Pulses or whatever the hell you're all calling them. I don't think I remembered anything? But I did find some kinda... thing. On my table.

[he holds up a small metal egg shaped thingy and turns it over in his hands a couple times. It's got three little pink dots on it and a flat underside. Exciting, right?]

So, I... think it's a big paperweight? I mean, it looks like something's supposed to plug in to the bottom of it, and I think the top's supposed to open, but I have no fucking clue. So fuck it, I'm just gonna call it a paperweight. Anyway, I figure you people have more experience with this kinda shit than I do, and maybe I'd luck out and one of you punks would recognize it. Never know until I ask. SO.

[Ray kind of obnoxiously waggles the thing in front of the camera for a second.]

Look familiar? Anybody? Anyone wanna help me crack it open with a hammer or something?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

that

suddenly just made me really sad.
if you're not an egg robobaby mother, what *are* you?

i dunno man i'm nothing special as far as i know. just a guy with a thing

maybe the thing is important?

I'm sure it is, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten it, right? Or is it common for people to get back things that are useless?

i've only gotten useless shit back.
like never sleeping.
and crying blood.

Dude if I could function on no sleep that would be awesome.

the blood thing though what the fuck

no one functions without sleep.
myself included.
i'm not actually functioning right now.
and i haven't slept in two months.

I know it's probably a stupid question given the state of THINGS, BUT. Have you talked to a doctor about it at all

yes.
i've also chugged over 24 bottles of benadryl in the last week as well as an ungodly amount of nyquil.
life on the numbers network is suffering.
you will probably start suffering soon.

what the FUCK dude how are you even still alive after that, doesn't that shit fuck you UP if you overdose

im also jesus.
i forgot to mention that.
totally immortal.

jesus wasn't immortal dude they fucking killed his ass

then he came back as a zombie

are you telling me you're a zombie

i'm telling you that i am straight up divinity.
like i am the son of god, god keeps me from dying divinity.
as in other people have confirmed the fact that they remember me as a jesus figure who was alive and definitely not a zombie.

But did they straight up tell you that you weren't a zombie?

no.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah you might wanna look into that

zombies don't sleep either y'know

and i guess they could cry blood too

i'm
not rotting though???
there's another zombie on the network.
he hasn't said that i'm very zombie like?

WOW THERE'S A REAL ZOMBIE? Holy shit I was just fucking with you I didn't think there was a REAL ONE

THERE IS A REAL ZOMBIE ON HERE AND HE LOOKS HORRIBLE.
ITS LIKE CRAZYASS MAGIC SHIT KEEPING HIM AS A ZOMBIE.
REAL
ZOMBIE.
REAL LIFE ZOMBIE.

SHIT HOW DO THEY EVEN HIDE THAT FROM NORMAL PEOPLE

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA?!?!
HOW DOES HE EVEN HIDE THAT FROM HIS PARENTS?!!!?!?

WHY IS EVERYONE AROUND HERE A TEENAGER

ZOMBIE TEENAGER!?!? THIS SOUNDS LIKE A BAD MOVIE

OUR LIVES ARE ONE BIG TERRIBLE MOVIE.
YOU ARE EITHER TEEN OR YOU ARE ADULT THERE IS NO INBETWEEN.
LIKE, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU NOTICED?
THERE ARE NO OLD PEOPLE ON HERE.
THERE ARE NO YOUNG PEOPLE.
MAYBE TWO PEOPLE PAST 30.
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

THAT IS FUCKING WEIRD

I wonder if there's like an actual reason for that.

shit.
what
if it's like a pesticide or something.
it was newly developed in like
the 90s.
but they realized it was shit, so it got banned.

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