savetheearth | 01: phone textage

So after a few months of being in complete denial that I am quite possibly at least a little bit insane, I decided to check out this... magical psychic hotline number network thingy. Or whatever it is. I've come to the conclusion that you are all straight up batshit, and that I probably shouldn't have bothered for the sake of my own mental well being.

But fuck it. Work's dead and I don't have anything better to do right now.

But no seriously are you real people or am I just texting my brand new imaginary friends or something. Maybe you are people. Maybe you're evil telemarketers, and telemarketer technology has advanced to the point of transmitting numbers directly into people's brains. Or no better yet, maybe it's an elaborate government spy tool or something. I don't THINK anyone drilled anything into my skull during basic, but it could happen. Maybe THE MAN is watching me text crazyness to myself RIGHT NOW through my own brain.

Dear Government, if this is you get the fuck out of my brain before I set you on fire.

(just in case this IS the government, i won't actually set you on fire I'M SORRY)

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[[a grin]]Only the most insane fucked up Egypt of all! There was magical items made from the slaughter of an entire village, corrupt priests working for an even more corrupt pharaoh who would seal the spirit beasts of people they deemed "evil" and use them to fight with themselves against other "evil" people who knew what bastards they were.

Jesus Christ. OKAY THEN, I'll just. Keep it to myself forever.

Y'know, I'm not too upset that I missed that.

Yeah thanks I'm fully aware.

yeaaaaaaah
sometimes it is better not to mention anything weird these days
until you figure out if it is a network thing or an everybody thing

See, I never paid attention in my history classes, but I don't remember anything that fucked up.

I didn't know that before. But now I do. So I'll keep it in mind.

Alternate history, has to be. I've tried finding when anything like that might even be, but there wasn't any mention of anything that matched anywhere. Closest I found was some insane new age bullshit book, and when the author starts out talking about the aliens that she channeled to write you know you're not dealing with reality anyway.

Are we pulling alternate dimensions into this shit now too? I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point, but damn.

you couldn't have known unfortunately :/
this was an awkward time to join the troops

Pretty much have to. Nothing else makes sense unless you're really into overly complicated conspiracy theories.

And even then, you'd have to factor in time travel.

I'm too lazy for complicated conspiracy theories. Alternate dimensions suits me just fine.

Is there ever a good time?

Good. Cause you're going to have to get used to them.

[[He paused, leaning his bike up against a mailbox before crouching down to lock it up.]]

Makes it make a lot more sense and seem less insane to just wave it off as that anyway.

there are slightly less bad times

I guess that makes sense. Like times when there aren't weird noises and shit?

How is that any less insane?

[ray paused to put out his cigarette, aaand then glanced over his shoulder like he just realized something]

I left my damn car at the damn park. Like a moron.

yes, like those!
those times are slightly less bad times to join up

Not like you need it for pizza. You can head back for it later. [[but he might look a bit amused as he gets up and dusts his hands off]]

And it's less insane because if it's another world, it's another set of rules. So it could be perfectly normal to be a werewolf in Victorian London or a spaceman or anything else.

I guess I could use the exercise anyway. I've been pretty lazy lately.

Anyway. How does that help us here? We're still weirdos here no matter what different "rules" are floating around out there in the universe or whatever, y'know?

Well, nothing I can really do about that now. I'll just focus on convincing people that I'm perfectly normal.

just say you had a headache/tomorrow say you went to the doctor and it was just some sort of inner ear problem but you're cool now

[[a shrug]] Not as weird as it could be. Unless you start turning into a zombie or growing horns or something. Then you're pretty much fucked in terms of passing as normal.

Well that works for the buzzing thing, but what about all the bullshit that could happen in the future?

I guess I'll just have to play it by ear.

I don't wanna be a zombie.

[SIGH]

Lets just eat pizza until we explode. If I'm exploded I can't become a zombie.

I'd think you'd be more likely to~ [[a grin]]

Besides. Odds are more that you'll become some sort of awesome monster instead. Have more of those than zombies. Or a robot. Have more of those than zombies too.

[[pushing open the door to the pizza place now, holding it just a moment to make sure it's not going to slam in Ray's face]]

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01: phone textage

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