text ==> video;

[drama8om8]

So I believe I recently made an incredibly unfortun8 error in judgement and declared the pink light pulse to be the worst pulse ever. What with the buzzing and the migraine I got l8r and the assumption that I didn't get shit from it. I thought it was a bust! A stupid dumb lamey-lame loser pulse for chumps.
8ut! As of today, certain things have come to light. I am an incredibly m8ture and modest individual and this is me st8ting publically, for the record, that I was ABSOLUTELY WRONG. 8)


[ At this point, the message switches to Shitty Webcamovision! Particularly observant viewers might spot Octavia's trademark red shoes off in the top-left of the screen. Most people, on the other hand, will probably just notice the HUGE-ASS PILE OF TREASURE SHE'S STANDING ON HOLY SHIT WHAT. ]



Hey, guys.

Check out my sweet booty.

[ With that - and a magnificent shit-eating grin - she literally rolls out of sight of the camera, giggling like a loser. BEST ECHO EVER. ]

Comments

voice;

[drama8om8]

Dangerous is cool, chump! Dangerous and heroic and muscular. I mean, uh. Dangerous and heroic and stuff. You should punch things more! You should punch everything. You should go out and punch a guy right now.

voice;

[schild]

[ Another laugh. Oh, you. ]

I think I'll try to resist the urge to punch at a moment's notice, but I'll keep that in mind.

voice;

[drama8om8]

Spoilsport. Unless you are too busy boinking your cutie uke boyfriend to punch guys, in which case I take that back.

voice;

[schild]

I'm... not sure I understood that. What?

[ It's like you're speaking a whole different language, Tavia. AND RYAN IS... dumb enough to ask... ]

voice; I'm sorry

[drama8om8]

Ugh. Boinking? Like. Doing the yaois? Waity-wait. I'll show you!

[ She briefly switches to text to drop THIS LINK.

Oh yes.

It's the yaois.

THE FULL YAOIS. ]

Alan's going to illustrate it, if you'd prefer a visual aid? But I kind of have to let him take his time, the yaois make him all emotional and stuff. He cries every time I mention it, poor guy. So dedicated.

voice; I literally asked for this

[schild]

[ .....................................Ryan just. ]











[ Silence. ]










[ He's gonna just show Bertholdt this and walk away slowly. ]

voice;

[drama8om8]

...Ryan?

Did I make you cry, too?

[ OMG SHE SHOULD WRITE MOVIES AS WELL AS STARRING IN THEM SHE IS OBVS THE MOST TALENTED HOLY SHIT!! ]

voice;

[schild]

[ The Ryan your are attempting to reach has been broken and cannot be found. Please leave a message after the tone. ]

[ beep. ]

text;

[toobig]

[Ryan did show it to him, and Bertholdt made the hardest choice he's ever had to make.]

[He decided to edit it.]

Here. I'd usually charge you for it, but I like supporting budding authors.

1/4

[drama8om8]

[ oh ]

2/4

[drama8om8]

[ HELL ]

3/4

[drama8om8]

[ NO. ]

text; 4/4

[drama8om8]

FIRST OF ALL HOW VERY DARE YOU.
That was my artistic vision! My CRE8TIVE OUTLET!!!!!!!! And you SULLIED IT with your picking and poking and fussing and meddling!
Those weren't mistakes you edited out, Uke-chan.
That was my STYLE. You have stripped my art 8are of its original message and flavour and RAW UNADULTER8TED PASSION. It is like I had a pl8 of delicious fries and you went and ruined them with ketchup and salad and all that shit.
You are crushing my spirit! Stifling my freedom! I WILL 8R8K FREE FROM THE CHAINS OF YOUR OPPRESSION AND FLY FORTH ON THE WINGS OF FANFICTIONDOM!!!!!!!!

[ It's probably obvious that Alan's ranting about his artwork has

influenced her

just a bit ]

not here;

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan is so fucking impressed right now omg]

also not here;

[drama8om8]

[ but is this hotter than talking about punching her creepy mom ]

[wirsinddiejager]

[yes it is]

[drama8om8]

[ ~*~*SUCCESS*~*~ ]

[toobig]

Your original message and flavor wouldn't sell a single copy.

But then again, even Meyers and E. L. James manage to get published so maybe I'm wrong.

I just thought you might want some helpful critique from someone in the writing business.

[drama8om8]

8H M8 F8CKING G8D.
Now you are insulting me 8y insinu8ting that I am in this for money or success or fame and not my LOVE OF THE CRAFT????????
Like your prissy-ass 8ullshit editing can o8jectively improve upon a single shining piece of my SOUL laid out there in the form of my art?
I AM OFFENDED AND INSULTED AND DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

[toobig]

That's what every author says. You're all really testy when it comes to this sort of thing.

I do think I have some say though, considering it's about me.

[drama8om8]

YOU HAVE NO SAY. It is like one of those unauthorized 8iographies people write! I get to type out all the sordid and incredi8ly explicit details of your yaoi life and you can't do shit a8out it. Not if you edit for 8 8ILLION YEARS. CAN'T BE TAAAAAAAAMED!!!!!!!!

[toobig]

Actually that's illegal because you're using real names.

I could sue you.

[drama8om8]

I'm writing a8out Ryan 8eefington and 8ertholdt Pooplord.
WHAT NOW.

[toobig]

How riveting.

Actually I think I will charge. For non fiction it's $3.00/page and considering how painful it was and that it was inspired by you fantasizing about my boyfriend and I, I'll tack on an extra $2.00.

You owe me $15.

[drama8om8]

WE 8N'T GOT NO CONTRACT ASSHOLE I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT.
May8e I should charge YOU for the fanfic! One custom-written story? THAT WILL 8E ONE 8ILLION DOLLARS.