002 » [ video; iPhone ]

[shambles]

So... I didn't really want to use the network for this, but didn't know where else to ask.

[Anyone who has ever spoken to him before will notice he sounds considerably more British.]

Is there anywhere to get a sword? I suppose either a place in the city or online would work. Both are equally suspicious, since swords are so relevant in this day and age.

[Because clearly getting a gun would be far too reasonable.]

Comments

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[drama8om8]

I'm a professional ACTRESS, not a professional TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN SPORT GDAY SHEILA. God!!!!!!!!
But as for the other thing I would totally watch a pizza hut James Bond. Like I'm pretty sure I read fanfic like that once. 8Ia

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[shambles]

I don't know. The Australians in that Guillermo del Toro movie sounded like that and those were professional actors. Knowing that could be the difference between being in a great movie and being a nobody.

What would they call it then? 007: Goldcrust? From Pizza Hut with Love? Is the villain maniacal about serving pizza? Why would you even write a fanfiction about that?

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[drama8om8]

Look, do I HAVE "shitty Australian accent" on my acting CV? No. No I do not. Because badass action chicks are NEVER AUSTRALIAN EVER. Or fake British. So there!

And I was thinking Octopizza. Or Tomorrow Never Pizza-Pies. Or Dr. Dough. Slice of life fanfic is all the rage, ok! Get with the TIIIIIIIIMES, old guy. Wow.

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[shambles]

And that's where you're wrong. The woman in Tomb Raider is fake British.

Those aren't bad, actually. But I don't waste my time reading fanfiction.

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[drama8om8]

Uhhhhhhhh.
The Tomb Raider movies were SHIT!!!!!!!! Which basically renders them absolutely unusable as an example because I am only going to be in GOOD movies. Duh!
And you SHOULD read more fanfic. Maybe then you wouldn't have to have the term "Britaboo" explained to you by sixteen year olds on the internet. Look up My Immortal! That one is SUPER gr8. I think it will speak to you on a personal level. 8)

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[shambles]

Yeah it was but that's still incredibly doubtful. Who knows what terrible video game adaption you'll end up in?

But then I'd have to read smut written by 16 year olds on the Internet. Which probably is also significantly worse.

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[shambles]

[The second bit comes about 15 minutes later.

CURIOSITY MAN. CURIOSITY.]

What did I just read????

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[drama8om8]

A literary classic that is also smut written by a 16 year old on the internet, duh.
Didn't you enjoy it? Didn't Enoby's plight speak directly into your fakey-fake British tortured goffick soul????????
You keep telling those preps to go fuck themselves, bro. I have your back, motherfuker. 8)

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[shambles]

No. I can't say I did.
I don't even think a hipster with the most ironic sense of humor could have enjoyed that in any way possible.

That is a sin against humanity.

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[drama8om8]

Lol. Don't be such a weenie!!!!!!!!
You didn't even smile at Dumblydore in Avril Lavigne robes? Not even a little bit? Teeny little bit? Liddleiddle widdle tiiiiiiiinyteeny wincey widdle ickle bit? Little bit?

 

Actually do you ever smile at all. Like is that even a face that you can make. Serious question.